Lost Highway
by Layne Faire
Summary: Ex-lovers share a cross-country road trip. Through unexpected encounters, missed turns, and a funeral, they come to some realizations about themselves and their relationship. This started as a FAGE prompt and took on a life of its own. Rated M for Slash
1. Chapter 1

**Ficawesome Gift Exchange- 3some**

**Lost Highway**

**Written for:** prassacut**  
>Written by: <strong>Layne Faire**  
>Rating: <strong>M**  
>Prompt used: <strong>have to go to a funeral, they get lost on the way. Has to be humor (romance, too, if the author wants to)

**Banner by: **hobee1971

**Summary: **Ex-lovers share a cross-country road trip. Through unexpected encounters, missed turns, and a funeral, they come to some realizations about themselves and their relationship. Rated M for Slash

_**If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this exchange visit the facebook group: Fanficaholics Anon: Where Obsession Never Sleeps or add the C2 to get all the stories direct to your inbox.**_

**www(DOT)fanfiction(DOT)net/community/FAGE_3some/93625/**

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><p><em><strong>Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. <strong>_

**Chapter One**

**EPOV  
><strong>

"Edward, its Carlisle." The brokenness in his voice alarmed me. In the three years we'd been together, I'd never seen any signs of weakness in Carlisle Cullen. A successful commodities broker for one of the largest firms in San Francisco, his entire life revolved around taking calculated risks. Receiving a distraught phone call from him, especially six months after we'd ended our relationship, caught me by surprise.

"What's wrong? Have you been in an accident? Are you okay?" I peppered him with questions, only hearing an escalation in grief through the receiver. I could think of only one thing that would bring him to this level of grief. "Is it Makenna?" His answering sob confirmed it. "I'll be right there."

I'd rushed over to my former lover's condo, all the while musing over the first time I'd met Makenna Charles. She'd been a spry woman, despite her seventy some odd years on the planet. She'd welcomed me with open arms and open heart, willingly accepting her grandson's partner, despite our unconventional relationship. She'd become a confidante, and had stayed in touch with me, even after Carlisle and I parted ways. She, of all people, understood how difficult her grandson could be to live with.

Carlisle's parents had passed away when he was eleven, leaving Makenna the listed choice for a guardian. She'd willingly taken in her only grandson, determined to do her best by the orphaned boy. Carlisle's grandfather had passed away shortly after he'd been born, though, and Makenna's second husband hadn't relished the idea of taking on a pre-teen boy when he'd finally reached retirement age. He'd given her an ultimatum: send Carlisle to live with an aunt he barely knew, or he was leaving. Makenna's reply had been to dump all of his personal belongings out the bedroom window. From my understanding, she'd never regretted her decision, not even when Carlisle had reluctantly come out to her his senior year of high school. She'd hugged him, assured him his parents would have loved him no matter what, and promptly joined PFLAG.

Makenna lived her life with such enthusiasm; I don't think anyone wanted to accept the possibility that her flame could ever be extinguished. She'd mentioned a cold the last time I'd talked to her, discounting my suggestion she see a doctor. A few days later, it hadn't mattered. It had been more than a cold, she had pneumonia. The resultant fluid that settled in her lungs put too much pressure on her heart, and under the added strain, the heart we all considered unbreakable, had given up.

She'd collapsed while grocery shopping. The paramedics managed to revive her on the scene, only to have her slip back into unconsciousness on the trip to the hospital. By the time they located a number to reach Carlisle, she was gone.

I mourned with Carlisle, sitting with him while he made the arrangements for her interment, holding his hand when he remembered the many happy years he'd shared with her. Without a moment's hesitation, I agreed to accompany him to Arizona. Despite the situation between the two of us, I wanted to pay my respects to the memory of a woman I'd grown to love and cherish in the few years I'd known her.

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><p><em><strong>Prassacut, I hope you like this. There aren't too many people I'd step out of my comfort zone for. <strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

**EPOV**

Carlisle chose to drive the trip, instead of flying, so that he could bring back any of Makenna's personal affects he planned to keep. We set out from Chicago on a late summer morning, the sun already warming the interior of Carlisle's black Mercedes S55 AMG. After dropping my suitcase in the trunk, I paused at the rear passenger door to pull out my Kindle and iPod, before placing my laptop bag on the backseat. The small cooler of bottled water and soft drinks nestled behind the seat, in close reach when needed. While I settled into the lush, caramel-colored leather seat, Carlisle programmed the GPS with his grandmother's address. He asked if I was ready, then hit the start for the disc changer, queuing up what I'd later discover was the entire Eagles box set. With the strains of _Take it Easy_ filling the interior of the car, I steeled myself for what I feared would be a tense road trip.

The first hour flew by in relative quiet, only the music breaking the monotony once we hit the interstate. I tried focusing on the current bestseller, but my attention drifted often, settling on the passing scenery, and increasingly, the handsome man sitting next to me. At just over six feet tall, Carlisle's lanky frame fit well in the luxury auto. The early afternoon sun glinted off his dark blond hair, highlighting his too-pale complexion, the result of too much time spent inside. It had been one of the many things we argued about. I wanted to go out, to live life, while his idea of unwinding revolved around trips to the gym and quiet nights at home. I hadn't even needed the club scene, though it had been where we met; a day spent on the lake or hiking would have been better than being confined inside four walls all the time. Carlisle wouldn't hear me, and in the end, I got tired of talking.

The companionable silence we shared played at odds with the memories I'd chosen to harbor from our last few months together. Seeking out a distraction, I reached behind me, into the cooler, to grab a bottle of water, offering one to Carlisle. He accepted with a smile, its warmth not quite reaching his eyes. It was obvious losing Makenna weighed on him harder than I'd thought it would. Without thinking, I placed my hand on his thigh, attempting to offer solace through my touch.

"I'm sorry you had to lose her, Carlisle, but I can't help thinking it's better for her that it happened this way. She would have hated to have gotten sick, to be stuck in a bed or a chair, living out her days as an invalid. It just wasn't who she was."

He nodded at my words, swallowing hard, but offered no response. Giving his leg a squeeze, I pulled my hand away. Setting my Kindle into the pocket on the door, I focused on the rapidly passing scenery. It was going to be a long drive, if he wouldn't talk to me at all.

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><p><em><strong>These are short chapters - averaging between 500 and 800 words. All will post today. <strong>_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

**EPOV**

"I really appreciate you coming with me, given…well, you know."

Startled I turned to look at him. We'd been on the road for almost three hours without stopping, and it was the first time he'd spoken since we got in the car. He looked over and met my eyes, before glancing away again. I gathered my thoughts, clearing my throat before speaking.

"Makenna had a good heart, was a good person. She had a way of touching people's lives that left them changed for the better. I couldn't have loved her more if she'd been my own grandmother. I'm glad you asked me to join you so I can have a chance to say goodbye."

He nodded again, lapsing back into silence. The disc changer flipped again, another Eagles CD. It was the fifth one in a row since we'd hit the road. Don't get me wrong, I loved the classics just as much as anyone else, but twenty-seven hours worth would be more than any man could bear.

"Did you bring any other CDs?" I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice, but could tell I failed when his shoulders stiffened.

"Yeah. A few. They're in the console, but I like what's in."

Ignoring him, I pulled out the other music. Don Henley, Joe Walsh, Glenn Frey. Seriously?

"Okay, let me rephrase that. Did you bring any CDs that are not in some way, shape, or form involved with the Eagles?"

"I happen to like the Eagles."

"Apparently." I shook my head, annoyed and unsure why I gave a fuck. "I happen to like pizza, but I also know a steady diet of it will kill me. What about some music that was created in a generation we lived in? Is that too much to ask?"

"The Eagles played in the eighties and nineties," he shot back, becoming defensive.

"True. I'm pretty sure some of them died in the nineties, too…of natural causes." Dumping the cases back in the console, I rolled my eyes before continuing, "When did you get so boring?"

"When the hell did you become such a smug bastard?" He slammed his hand against the steering wheel. "You know what? I'm not going to do this. I mean, really? We're arguing about music?"

I shrugged, slouching back against my seat. Uncurling the earplugs I'd wrapped around my iPod, I tucked one into my ear, while scrolling through my playlists. If he wanted to listen to the same shit for hours, it was his prerogative; it didn't mean I couldn't tune it all out. I tapped the volume control, determined to do just that, when he spoke again.

"Look it's almost lunch time. Let's stop, stretch our legs, and grab a bite to eat. I don't know about you, but I'm starving. If you absolutely hate the music, you can put something different on when we get back in the car, okay?"

"Fine. Can we find someplace that serves breakfast all day? Bacon and eggs are fucking delicious," I said, quoting Dane Cook, a comedian we'd seen in concert together not long after we started dating.

His answering laugh broke some of the tension in the car when he caught the joke. "Sure. I think I saw a sign for a Cracker Barrel coming up. Does that work?"

I nodded in agreement. 'Yeah, that sounds good; I'll even treat this time."

Tapping up the volume on my iPod, I let the sounds of Daughtry fill my ears, while we fell back into a comfortable silence. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, if we could still laugh together.

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><p><strong><em>Guess they don't follow that rule that driver controls the radio, huh?<em> **


	4. Chapter 4

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

**Chapter Four**

**EPOV**

We found the Cracker Barrel about ten miles later, pulling into a packed parking lot. Carlisle quirked an eyebrow at me, certain I'd suggest leaving, given my penchant for impatience. Instead, I pointed out an empty spot, hustling out of the car the minute he put it in park. I had to piss too bad to give a shit about the wait. Telling him to get us on the waiting list, I headed straight to the restroom.

When I returned, I found him wandering the store, picking up little trinkets, examining them, then setting them back down with a sigh. I knew what the problem was – all the country kitsch reminded him of Makenna. The cutesy yard signs, nature-themed décor, and bits of Americana were reminiscent of the home he'd grown up in.

Walking up behind him, I rested my hand on his shoulder. He turned to me, the sadness evident in his eyes.

"I still can't believe she's gone. I should have made her move closer to me, so I could take care of her."

I couldn't help laughing. "Carlisle, when, at any point in your life, can you remember your grandmother doing something she didn't want to? She loved her home and her independence; she'd have never given them up, not even for you. Don't blame yourself for things you had no control over."

Watching the torn anguish flash across his face, I couldn't help but remember how much I'd loved this side of him – the side that valued family, loyalty, commitment. I wondered where that had been lost, but was saved from embarrassing myself by asking when they announced our table was ready. Allowing Carlisle to take the lead, I followed him into the seating area, while I pushed back the latent emotions that had welled up just moments before.

Lunch passed in a blur. I barely remember tasting the food I ordered, and I couldn't tell you what Carlisle decided to eat. Instead, I stayed distracted watching his mouth, those fascinating lips that I'd once relished touching every inch of my body. The resultant reaction to my inner musings proved even more difficult to ignore. Shifting in my seat, I made a show of checking the time, pawning off my edginess as a desire to get back on the road. Making note of it, Carlisle excused himself to the restroom, affording me the opportunity to calm my raging hormones before walking out to pay for our meal. I added on a box of soft peppermint sticks, the one sugar laden treat I'd never been able to resist.

Desperate for some fresh air, I wandered outside, leaning up against the side of the car while I waited on my travelling companion. My mind fluctuated through an ever-changing flash of confusion. Why were these feelings surfacing now? Why hadn't it been enough to make me stay six months ago? Most of all, what did I plan on doing about it?

I'd been single, by choice, since we split up, picking up and discarding tricks, all the while avoiding any type of entanglement. While it filled a need, the satisfaction had been empty. Random hook-ups had never really been my scene before I met Carlisle, yet I'd done just that on a regular basis since I'd moved out. The self-evaluation left me feeling like I'd missed something, somewhere. If leaving had been what I wanted, why wasn't I happy with my decision?

Turning my attention to the man leaving the restaurant and walking toward me, I tried looking at him through eyes unbiased by the past. Carlisle exuded everything I thought I ever wanted in a life partner. He was confident, self-assured, mature, attractive, intelligent, _settled._ How had some of the things I'd been most attracted to, become the biggest reasons why I'd left? For the first time, I wondered if I'd made a mistake.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

_**Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed. Fanfiction is being its usual bitch and won't let me reply. Ive read them all though, and am so glad you like it!  
><strong>_

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><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

**EPOV**

Carlisle declined my offer to drive, stressing he'd be fine for a few more hours. We hadn't discussed whether or not we were driving straight through, or if we'd stop overnight. If we did stop, would it be one room, to save costs, or two? Not sure how to broach the subject, I let it ride, deciding to cross that bridge if, or when, we came to it.

Carlisle proved true to his word, allowing me to change the music. I hooked my iPod up to the car's sound system, surfing through the playlists, until I settled on something with a variety of genres. While the familiar strains of Bruno Mars filled the interior of the car, I reclined my seat, settling back to take a nap in case Carlisle changed his mind about my driving. I turned my face toward the window in an attempt to distract myself from the myriad thoughts roaming through my mind. My eyes drifted shut, the soothing movement of the car lulling me to sleep.

A sudden lurch, followed by muffled cursing, pulled me out of the sound slumber I'd fallen into. My head had turned toward Carlisle in my sleep, my hand resting on the console between us. Blinking rapidly, I sat up, noting the change of the angle of the sun, before seeing the time on the dash. I'd been asleep for almost three hours.

"Sorry," he muttered, his attention fixed on the empty road in front of us.

"I'm fine. Everything okay?" I yawned, shifting my body to stretch out the kinks from my cramped sleeping position, my shirt riding up when I reached over my head to pop the aching muscles in my shoulders, the tension in my joints easing with each one. "Need me to take over for a while? You've got to be getting road weary."

I saw his eye flicker toward my exposed abdomen, his hands tightening on the steering wheel, before he answered. "No, I'm good. I got distracted; almost hit a deer running across the highway. Maybe we can just find someplace to stop so I can use the bathroom and stretch out my legs."

"Sounds good to me. Want me to see what I can find on the GPS?"

"Nah, we passed a sign for a truck stop that's supposed to be just up ahead. You getting hungry?" His eyes slanted my way again, waiting for my answer.

"Yeah, I could probably eat something. How much longer do we have to drive to get to Makenna's?" I held my breath, suddenly very interested in his reply.

"Almost twenty hours," he sighed, while flipping the turn signal and changing lanes for the approaching exit. "There's no way we can drive it straight through, even if we switch off. I'm thinking we can drive until around ten or so, find a place to stay overnight, then hit the road early tomorrow morning. It will put us in near dinner time tomorrow night, but the funeral isn't until Monday, so I'll still have two days to finalize all the arrangements." The words escaped him in a rush, exposing his own nerves about the hotel. "I've got the rooms; don't worry about that. I don't want you to have any unnecessary expenses; you've already taken a week off of work as it is.

Shrugging, I pushed away his offer. "Its fine, Carlisle. I used my vacation time, so I'm still getting paid." Sheepish, I added, "I also told them _my_ grandmother passed away, so I get three days paid bereavement, anyway. I figured I might as well take advantage of it, since my grandparents are all already gone." It also didn't escape me that he'd said rooms, not room; guess that answered that question.

Carlisle became quiet, focusing his attention on the long white building we'd pulled up in front of. The flashing neon signs glinted off the car; announcing the roadside' diner's 24 hour service and fresh coffee. In the thickening silence, both suddenly seemed like winner ideas. Grasping the door handle, I pushed it open, almost missing Carlisle's words when I stepped from the car.

"She loved you like you were her grandson, too."

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><p><strong><em>Deer, huh? well its plausible.<em> _Rooms? As in -more than one? Oh no, I think your intrepid writer will figure a way out of separate rooms!_ **


	6. Chapter 6

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

**_Still hanging around? Good!  
><em>**

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><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

**EPOV**

The diner's food wasn't fancy, but it was delicious and plentiful. Other than common pleasantries, we didn't speak while we ate; the tension between us palpable. While I knew where mine came from, I didn't have a clue what fueled Carlisle's. When the waitress brought the check, we both reached for it at the same time, Carlisle jerking his hand back as if burned when our fingers brushed against each other. I found myself disappointed when he didn't argue with me about it. If he had, we would've at least been talking. While I paid the check, he exited the restaurant, pulling the car out to the gas pumps on the edge of the lot, still without saying a word.

Wanting to delay the inevitable, I made a trip to the restroom. After washing my hands, I splashed some water on my face, then paused to study myself in the mirror. After the way things had ended between me and Carlisle, with little fanfare or drama, I'd not considered the full impact of my decision to end things. Did I even deserve to have Makenna consider me her grandson?

When I'd finally moved out of Carlisle's, I'd been more than willing to lay all the blame at his feet – making it all about his unwillingness to meet my needs. I never once stopped to consider his side of things. I'd been content for the better part of three years, actually more than content. I'd been truly happy. What I didn't know was what had changed my feelings. Staring at my reflection, I took advantage of the moment for some introspection.

Though rapidly approaching my thirtieth birthday, my looks hadn't changed much over the past five or so years. I'd joined a gym after I finished college, when I no longer played sports, unwilling to let my body go to pot just because I wasn't an athlete anymore. While with Carlisle, I'd eaten healthier, too. We'd cooked dinner together almost every night, since it gave us a chance to catch up on our day, without letting the outside world clutter our evenings together. My diet of takeout and delivery over the past six months hadn't caught up to me yet, but I'd also added more time in the gym to fill the long hours.

The clubbing I'd begged for while we were together turned out to not be as important as I'd made it out to be. In fact, the only thing it proved any good for was the occasional trick. The rest of it irritated the shit out of me. Absently, I rubbed the two-day old scruff on my jaw, noting the new lines that had cropped up at the corners of my eyes, along with the trace grey hairs that had begun appearing at my temples. Then the truth hit me.

I hadn't left Carlisle because of something he did. He wasn't the one who changed, who became dissatisfied with what had once seemed perfect. I'd left out of my own fears of growing old. I'd been so afraid I might have missed something better in my life; I'd foolishly walked out on what just may have been the best part of it.

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><p><em><strong>I have to be honest, this story is not going anywhere near the way I planned. <strong>**I finally stopped fighting and let it do its own thing. **_**_Hope you can stick it out. _**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

_**Hmmmm 'kay. No one wants to read it after all. Oh well, I'll keep posting it anyway. **_

_**So- Carlisle started jumping in the corner, demanding his say. Hope his POV clears up a couple gray areas.  
><strong>_

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

**CPOV**

I didn't consider how awkward it would be to have Edward on the trip when I asked him to accompany me. I'd only thought of how much it would've meant to Nan. The argument over the music had been nitpicky, no question about it, and I wondered if Edward suffered from the same warring thoughts that I did. Doubtful, since he'd been the one to leave in the first place_. _In the six months since he'd left, I still hadn't moved on, foolishly hoping he'd change his mind and come back. I'd heard the rumors from mutual friends: his many dates, the nights at the clubs, the tricks he left with. It'd been obvious he'd not regretted his choice.

While he slept, I couldn't resist the opportunity to drink him in, taking advantage of his sleeping state to watch the play of emotions over his face. My fingers itched to trace the planes of his face, to feel the scruff that shadowed his angular jaw line, to follow the full curve of his bottom lip. Lost in my obsessive thoughts, my focus wandered from the road, forcing me to over-correct when I felt the pull of the tires on the graveled shoulder.

"Shit! Fucking pay attention before you kill someone," I muttered violently under my breath, struggling to calm the panic that gripped my chest.

Risking another glance at the passenger's seat, I noticed Edward stirring, no doubt jarred awake by the sudden movement of the car. I mumbled an apology, declining his offer to take over driving, distracted by the exposed strip of skin when he stretched his arms over his head. Holy fucking happy trail! I beat back memories of how that downy soft, neatly trimmed thatch of hair had felt when I'd rest my cheek against it. Despite calling up images of dead baby animals, golf, and naked old people; my dick hardened, pressing uncomfortably against the confining zipper of my jeans.

In an effort to distract him from my rising problem, I suggested we stop to grab some dinner. I busied myself with changing lanes to make the exit for the truck stop. When Edward asked how much longer we had, I checked the GPS, then sighed my answer. There's no way we could drive straight through; we'd both be dead on our feet if we tried. It wasn't worth taking the risk of having an accident to arrive a few hours earlier, especially since I had a couple days to work on the rest of the arrangements. I mentioned a hotel, insisting I'd cover the expenses, but I hadn't expected Edward's response about claiming Nan as his own grandmother.

Edward had been a surprise for his parents, born when they were in their early forties. The only child of parents who were also only children, he had few living relatives. His father's parents had passed before he'd been born, his mother's parents within a couple of years of each other when he was just a child. His parents hadn't disowned him when he came out, but they'd had no qualms at expressing their disappointment over the lack of grandchildren at every opportunity they got. Though he didn't often talk about it, I knew he'd always wished he had someone he could be open with; someone who accepted him for who he was, unconditionally. He'd needed someone like Nan in his life, and I'd never begrudged him that.

I hadn't lied when I told him Nan considered him her grandson. She'd been crushed when we split up, but determined to keep the bond she'd formed with him over the three years we'd been together. She promised me she wouldn't interfere; she only wanted him to know that, no matter what she would always be there for him. I'd known they still spoke often, but she'd never divulged their conversations to me, other than to mention that he sounded good when they talked. I knew she'd want him to know how important he'd been to her, too.

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><p><strong><em>Carlisle is going to hang around for the next couple of chapters, so settle in and let him give you his side of things. <em>**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

_**I managed to get caught up on reviews! Had to do it the hard way, but y'all are worth it! **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

**CPOV**

I'd rushed to the bathroom once Edward cleared the front of the car, desperate for a few minutes alone. His presence over whelmed me; his aura, his scent, permeated every inch of the car, reminding me of all I'd lost. I took a few minutes to compose myself, struggling to push down the latent feelings I'd struggled to ignore for months with little success.

Edward had made it obvious his mind was made up, that nothing could dissuade from his decision to leave. I'd spent the first few weeks after he left wondering what I'd done wrong, trying to figure out what I needed to change to win him back. I knew I wasn't perfect, I'd made my fair share of mistakes and I willingly owned them, but my pride would never allow me to grovel. Instead, I'd done my best to let him go with a modicum of dignity, despite the fact that my heart shattered the minute he'd told me he couldn't stay anymore. The reports from friends of his newfound happiness convinced me it'd been for the best. I needed to keep that in mind if I hoped to make it through the trip without jeopardizing the tentative friendship we'd managed to salvage from our failed relationship.

After a quiet, tension-filled meal, I reached for the check at the same time he did, recoiling from the sensations that rolled through me at the casual touch of his fingers. Hustling out of the building, I pulled the car out to the pumps to refill the tank, taking deep breaths to slow my racing pulse.

"Get it together, Cullen!" I chastised myself, kicking the rear tire for emphasis.

My tenuous grip on my self-control made it necessary for separate hotel rooms. There was no way I could share a room with Edward without doing something to embarrass myself. Spending the last several hours with him only served to confirm what I already knew in my heart…I still needed him, and I'd take whatever shreds I could get, even if it'd only be his friendship. Then, if the Fates smiled on me, maybe one day…

Edward's cheerful whistling warned me of his presence before he made it to the car. Pasting a smile on my face that I knew didn't quite reach my eyes; I looked up from returning the nozzle to its holder on the gas pump.

"Ready to get back on the road?" He asked, leaning up against the trunk of the car next to me.

"Yeah, I'd like to knock out a few more hours before we need to stop for the night." I twisted my neck, trying to stretch out the muscles that had knotted from driving. "You mind driving for a little while? I could use a break, after all."

'Sure, it's not a problem. Take a nap if you need to. Where were you thinking about stopping?" He walked to the driver's side door, pausing to wait for me to reach the other side.

Looking at him across the top of the car, I swallowed hard. He leaned casually on the frame, his brilliant green eyes hidden by the aviator shades he wore against the radiant beams of the waning sun. "Uhm, let's play it by ear, okay? Wherever we are around ten o'clock, we'll start looking for someplace. Does that work?"

"You got it," he answered, sliding into the car and turning the key in the ignition.

Giving myself a brief mental prep talk, I joined him. I could do this; I had to do this. _It's no more than a bluff_, I told myself, _I do this every day at work. I convince people to do things to my advantage all the time. I can convince Edward I'm okay with this, too._ While it sounded plausible, my heart wasn't buying it.

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><p><strong><em>Hmmmm Carlisle seems pretty set on separate rooms at the hotel. I wonder, how do you guarantee a bunch of hotels are completely booked in one town?<br>_**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

_**Got one interesting speculation on how to fill a hotel. I'll just say this- Kris, close, but not quite!  
><strong>_

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

**CPOV**

I wanted to talk about Nan; about who she'd been and the memories I had with her. I hoped, too, I might be able to ease some of the tension in the car. Avoiding the memories I shared with Edward, I related a story from shortly after I'd gone to live with her, when she decided I needed to be involved with sports. When she'd discovered that the local Little League was in desperate need of coaches, she volunteered on the spot, despite her limited knowledge of baseball. She then spent the next few days reading everything she could find about the rules and history of the game. She'd pulled it off, too, with our team only losing one game all season. It was just how Nan was. She didn't see anything as a deterrent, just problems that needed solutions.

Edward laughed, the rich bass filling the car. "I can so see Makenna, a baseball cap turned backwards on her head, chomping on gum, and screaming at the umpires. Then, after the game, I bet she handed out baggies full of homemade chocolate chip cookies to everyone, including the umpires." I joined in his laughter, assuring him he'd been right. With a small sigh, he continued, "She made, hands down, the best chocolate chip cookies I've ever eaten, anywhere. Remember, she sent me a box every couple weeks, after we went to see her and I emptied her cookie jar in a day?"

He suddenly grew quiet, a look of sadness coming over his face. Whether it was from the memory of my grandmother or the reminder of our time together, I had no way of knowing, but I quickly changed the conversation to another childhood memory, one sure to make him laugh.

"Did I ever tell you I was a Boy Scout?" I smirked at Edward's incredulous sideways glance. "True facts. Goofy brown shorts, badges, the whole nine yards. I did it for five years, until I hit my sophomore year of high school and begged Nan to let me quit. I think the only reason she agreed was because of the disastrous camping trip we'd taken the spring before." I chuckled at the memory of Nan's one and only camping trip.

"Was she your troop leader?"

"No, thank God. I managed to avoid that fate. She did act as the troop mom, though, helping to organize all the fundraisers we did. At the last minute, one of the other parents couldn't make the trip, leaving us low on chaperones. She agreed to go, under duress, all the while complaining about the lack of electricity in the wilderness. Things went well the first day out there. I set her tent up while she organized the boys into groups to gather wood and water. She even helped out with dinner."

I paused, taking a drink of water, before continuing, "After s'mores and campfire stories, we all retired to our tents for the night, eager to rest up for a hike our troop leader had planned for first thing in the morning. Round about two or three in the morning, the campsite was filled with the bloodcurdling screams of a woman. We all fell out of our tents in various states of undress, eighteen boys and three grown men all rubbing their eyes, trying to figure out what the hell had happened. We weren't left wondering long, when the incredible stench of rubber bands and rotten eggs filled the air, right before a skunk waddled out of Nan's tent followed by Nan screaming and flailing her arms in the air."

By that point, Edward roared with laughter, tears streaming down his face. While he struggled to compose himself, he motioned for me to go on.

"Apparently, she'd forgotten to zip it shut, and the little bastard had wandered in, smelling the peanut butter crackers she'd been snacking on before she fell asleep. Instead of hiking in the morning, we returned to the ranger station, looking for help to clean up the smell that had permeated almost everything she'd had with her. The directed the troop leader to the nearest grocery store for tomato juice, also pointing out the showers for Nan, because no one would let her near the cars. It took several hours and a few gallons of juice before we could head home, with Nan swearing off camping forever the entire trip back."

The tension between us broke with that, and I regaled him with other tales of my grandmother; little anecdotes that revealed a beautiful, caring, compassionate woman who'd touched the lives of everyone she met. The miles faded away, eaten up in shared laughter. Once again, even without realizing it, Nan had made everything better.

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><p><strong><em>Damn! I kind of much like Nan! *Makes mental note to be a cool grandmothe<em>**r*


	10. Chapter 10

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all.I also blame all of them for the decidedly strange twist that is about to happen. Five women, on SKYPE for long hours at a time is the equation for all kinds of fuckery! But damn, we had fun!  
><strong>_

_**Thanks so much for all the reviews! I'll catch up on responses this morning.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Ten<strong>

**CPOV**

At some point, I must have fallen asleep; lulled by the steady thrum of the tires on the pavement and the smooth jazz that Edward's iPod had transitioned to. I woke to a change in the ambient noise, and the feel of the car shifting when Edward turned into a parking lot. Blinking against the glaring lights that suddenly beamed against my eyes, I sat up to look around. We were sitting in front of a Best Western hotel, the parking lot jammed with cars.

"Where are we?" I yawned, my brain seeking out extra oxygen to revive itself.

"I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I started getting a bit sleepy, so I thought I'd pull off and find some place to stay. From the looks of things, this might not be our best option, though," he replied.

Craning around to look at the marquee, I shook my head, reading it aloud. "Welcome Trekkies. Uhm, okay. Well, hell, we're here. Let's just check and see what's available."

Stepping from the car, my eyes were drawn to the strangest thing I'd ever seen. Across the lot sat what I thought might've once been a Winnebago, before some disillusioned soul transformed it into an exact replica of the Starship Enterprise. Chortling, I waved to get Edward's attention, laughing so hard I could only point to the source of my amusement. Joining me on the passenger side of the car, he looked between it and me, bumping me with his shoulder as he joined me in my hysterical mirth.

"Seriously?" He spluttered, trying to catch his breath. "Why the hell would someone do that?"

"I want to know how the hell they drive it," I gasped, holding my side while I leaned up against him, trying to stay on my feet. "I mean, honestly, is something like that even legal? And can you imagine the et-up they must wear when they do."

Still giggling, we walked into the hotel lobby, stopping dead to gawk at the sight that greeted us in the lobby. The room milled with activity, the chatter almost deafening. The only person not in some type of costume was the clerk manning the desk. Unable to control myself, I leaned over to whisper in Edward's ear.

"Vulcans, Klingons, and Romulans! Oh my!"

The stoic mask he struggled to maintain crumbled, laughter erupting from him in loud guffaws. His mirth increased when a woman strolled by us, dressed in a flesh tone lycra bodysuit covered in what appeared to be…Tribbles. Trying to ignore the glares being shot at us from around the room, I dragged him over to the reception desk. The clerk looked up, a broad smile on his face.

"Ah, humans! Welcome! Are you part of the convention?"

Edward and I shot each other a look loaded with humor, before both answering, "No!"

I continued, "Definitely not. We're on our way to Tempe, but needed a place to stay overnight. By any chance do you have a couple rooms available?"

The clerk's face became serious, while he turned his attention to the computer monitor in front of him. He tapped furiously on the keys, shaking his head, then tapped away again. A trickle of foreboding crept up my spine, only slightly mitigated by Edward's body shaking with suppressed laughter next to me. Feeling his elbow dig into my side, I looked to where he inclined his head.

A Klingon couple had just stepped from the elevator, the pair dressed in full wedding attire. Despite my anxiety over finding rooms for both of us, I couldn't help but stare. Meanwhile, the lobby erupted in a chorus of cheers and congratulations for the couple, who apparently really were just married. Hearing the clerk clear his throat behind me, I turned my attention back to the counter.

"I'm sorry, gentlemen, but we only have one room available. I've also checked the other hotels in the area, and it's the only room available in a thirty mile radius. I can offer you a discount, though, if you're interested in booking it." He looked at me expectantly, waiting for my answer.

"I don't know…," I began, when Edward interrupted me.

"We'll take it." He dropped his credit card on the counter.

I snatched it back, pulling out my own. "I told you I've got this. Are you sure you're okay with this? We can head up the road a ways and find something else."

"Its fine, Carlisle. We lived together for three years, I'm sure we can manage a hotel room for one night. Just promise not to use the Vulcan Death Grip on me in my sleep."

He squeezed my shoulder before walking away, his tall, athletic frame drawing more than just my eyes when he crossed the lobby.

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><p><strong><em>I must confess, NO alcohol was involved in the creation of this chapter. After re-reading it though, I'm concerned about what's in my cigarettes. <em>**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

_**I have been within seconds of pitching my computer all day. There are some heavy storm fronts moving around and it is dicking with the power and the internet. Not conducive to me being productive AT ALL! Thanks everyone who continues to review. I am glad you are loving my little story, and the decidedly twisted turn it took last chapter. Edward has had enough of letting Carlisle take the lead -got to love a dominant Edward!- so we're back to his viewpoint as to what is going in. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Eleven<strong>

**EPOV**

While Carlisle took care of booking the room, I returned to the car for our bags. I grabbed my iPod and Kindle, too, hoping they could provide a distraction from the man I'd be sharing the room with. When he'd been sharing stories about Makenna, a light came into his eyes I hadn't seen in a while. Carlisle had always put stock in family; often seeking his grandmother's input when faced with an important decision. The condo had been one of those moments.

Carlisle and I had been together for almost a year, both of us still living in our own apartments, when he received a huge promotion at work. The increase in his income made him eager to make some investments that would offer a significant benefit to his portfolio. He'd called Makenna, and she'd suggested he invest in real estate, believing the decline in property values would work to his advantage. He'd taken the advice to heart, perusing the weekly real estate ads for something that caught his eye. After visiting the condo with an agent, he called and asked me to join him there. I'd declared it perfect, then been shocked when he asked me to move in with him, right in front of the agent. I'd quickly agreed, more than ready to share every facet of my life with him.

Even though he hadn't freaked out when I left, I knew my decision had hurt him. Now that I'd realized I'd made a mistake, though, I had no clue where his feelings were. Had he moved on? A selfish part of me hoped he hadn't. Maybe, just maybe, I might have a chance to fix what I'd screwed up.

Walking back into the lobby, I saw him waiting for me at the bank of elevators, engaged in conversation with an older Asian gentleman. The man had his hand resting on Carlisle's arm, his casual touch a little too familiar for my liking. Moving closer, I heard them both laugh, then the man slid his hand up Carlisle's sleeve to rest it on his shoulder. He took a step closer, his body language loaded with innuendo. When I reached them, I was startled to recognize the man with Carlisle was George Takei, Mr. Sulu from the original Star Trek series. His celebrity status didn't impress me, but him hitting on _my_ man pissed me right the fuck off.

"You ready to go to our room?" I asked, placing emphasis on the word _our. _

Carlisle blushed, stammering through an introduction, "George, this is my friend Edward. He's making the trip home with me. Edward, we were just talking about some of the extremes some of the fans go to at these events."

"Nice to meet you, Edward." He offered his free hand, still not removing the other from Carlisle's shoulder. I stared at it pointedly, before accepting his handshake. 'Well, I'll let you gentlemen get settled. Carlisle, if you want to join me for a drink later, I'm in room 312."

He reluctantly trailed his hand down Carlisle's arm, before walking away. I seethed inside, knowing my jealousy was irrational, and not giving a shit. Jabbing the elevator button with a little more vehemence than needed, I refused Carlisle's offer to take one of the bags out of my hand. We entered the elevator in silence, the two of us crowded together by an influx of other passengers. Reaching through the crowd, Carlisle pushed the button for our floor, before being pushed up against my side.

A few last minute passengers pushed in as the doors closed, causing him to step in front of me, his ass resting on my crotch. Shifting his weight when the elevator lurched to a stop, he brushed back into me, my dick hardening in response and straining against the confines of my clothing. Groaning inward, I rocked my hips away from him, the instantaneous response unnerving me. I wanted him, but I wouldn't embarrass myself, especially not in a crowded elevator.

With each stop of the elevator, passengers flowed in and out, all of them greeting each other with V'ed fingers while saying 'Live Long and Prosper'. By the third stop, I wanted to scream in irritation. The fact that the fluctuating crowd had shoved me to the back of the elevator, forcing Carlisle flush against me hadn't helped, either. I had no room left to move away from his supple ass, and my dick reacted to the added stimulus.

When the elevator finally reached our floor, I heaved a sigh of relief, hitching the bags up and moving one in front of me to cover my obvious arousal. Carlisle laughed when our departure was treated to the same chorus as everyone else's, turning to respond in kind. He appeared completely unaffected by our forced proximity, adding to the frustration that knotted every muscle in my body. I gritted my teeth at his exuberance, exasperated by the entire situation. This wasn't the way I'd hoped this evening would go, and frustration knotted every muscle in my body. Following him down the hall, I shifted impatiently while I waited for him to open the door. Once inside, I kicked the door shut, before throwing the bags to the side, ready to explode from the jealousy and tension coursing through me.

"You will NOT be calling him to have a drink…or anything else."

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><p><strong><em>Oops! Well, now...Where did that Edward come from, and should we clone him? DAMN. Let me know what you think! Oh, and Live Long and Prosper<em>**.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

_**No drugs or alcohol were used in the production of this chapter. The collective consciousness of the SotTP is really this fucked up.  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twelve<strong>

**EPOV**

Before he could offer a retort, a sudden knock sounded at the door, followed by a voice calling out 'Room Service'. Frustrated, I jerked it open to find the smiling clerk from downstairs standing on the other side, holding a small gift basket. Behind him, people in assorted costumes darted up and down the hall, engaging in a game of laser tag.

"Compliments of Mr. Takei," he smirked, extending the basket toward me.

Balancing it in one hand, I pulled out my wallet and shoved a five dollar bill at him, before kicking the door shut on the furor in the hallway. The muffled sounds of stampeding feet were punctuated by slamming doors, accompanied by the heavy thud of bodies slamming into the walls.

In the meantime, Carlisle had grabbed the bags to carry them into the main area of the room, a muttered "Fuck!" drifting back to me at the door. Walking further into the room, I stopped short at the sight of a single king size bed dominating the middle of the small suite. It only held my attention for a minute though, when I began to realize exactly what the basket contained.

Nestled in a bed of shredded fill sat a couple bottles of lube, a box of condoms, two glasses, and a bottle of champagne: all emblazoned with the logo 'To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before' and the silhouette image of an alien couple entangled with each other. A note tucked into it caught my eye. Plucking it out, I dropped the basket on the dresser, ignoring Carlisle's troubled gaze. I read through it once, then read it out loud, my ire growing with each word.

_Carlisle,_

_In case you change your mind, it's always best to be prepared._

_I'll be waiting,_

_George_

"You have GOT to be kidding me!" Incredulous rage filled me, making my tone harsher than I intended. "He can fucking keep on waiting! Do you understand me?" I grabbed Carlisle by the arms, my eyes snapping with passion, my voice drowning out the commotion going on just a few feet away."You don't need to leave this room to find what he's offering."

Pushing him back against the wall, I covered his mouth with mine, the kiss punishing, our lips and teeth banging together as need overwhelmed common sense. He opened under my assault, my tongue pushing into his mouth, my body flush against him. His fingers gripped my hips, holding me in place while his rock hard dick ground into my thigh. Releasing his arm with one hand, I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling his head back to savage the sensitive skin under his jaw. With a small part of my consciousness, I felt his hand shoving up the back of my shirt, his blunt nails scratching across my skin. Desperation took over, my hands dragging at the buttons on his shirt, before giving up to rip it open.

His pale skin glowed in the subtle lamplight, the dusky rose nipples hardening when my fingers grazed them. I lowered my head to capture one between my lips, my heart thundering; the rhythmic pounding a steady tattoo in my ears.

_THUD_

_THUD _

_THUD_

"_Torpedoes ready, sir."_

A male voice drifted through the wall, followed by shrill giggling and the sound of flesh slapping flesh. A female voice responded.

"_Where's that torpedo?"_

Groaning, I bit down on the tender skin, trying to ignore the sounds coming from the next room. Carlisle arched at the sensation, oblivious to the distractions surrounding us, his hands scrabbling at the hem of the shirt he'd shoved up my back.

_THUD_

_THUD_

_THUD_

Fucking hell! What a way to kill the mood.

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><p><strong><em>I...I...Yeah, I got no explanation for where this is going.<em>**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

_**So, Thanksgiving and the residual effects of a traffic accident that fried the power and internet to most of my neighborhood (including my house), delayed this getting to you enjoy it.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen<strong>

**EPOV  
><strong>

"Off…take it off, Edward." Needy pleas filled my ears, his hands still tugging on my shirt.

Pulling my lips away from his collarbone, I leaned back to allow him to pull it over my head, trying to ignore the rhythmic pounding of the headboard from next door. Shaking my arms free, I returned my attention to the planes of his body, angles and valleys I knew better than I knew my own. Palming him through the straining denim, I reveled in his moan, the sound muffled by his lips suckling my Adam's apple. An answering moan drifted through the wall, breaking my concentration. Distracted, I stilled my ministrations, until he thrust against my hand to encourage me. Refocusing, I popped open the button on his jeans, the zipper giving easily when I dragged down the tab.

I nudged him with my forehead, claiming his mouth again when his lust-filled eyes lifted to meet mine. Carlisle pushed his tongue into my mouth, one hand gripping my neck while the fingers of the other dug into my hip. The loud noises from the corridor barely permeated the lust induced fog that clouded my brain, brought on by his uncharacteristic aggressiveness. Sliding my hands inside his open fly, I gripped his ass, the cotton of his briefs warmed by his heated skin. I flexed my arms, the denim shucking away from his skin to slip down his hips. Gasping for air, I broke away from the kiss, then dropped to my knees, my lips raining kisses down the dark blond trail of hair on his taut abdomen. Shoving the jeans the rest of the way down his thighs, I placed my lips over the damp spot on the white cotton of his briefs, his dick twitching under the warm breaths escaping me.

His fingers threaded through my hair, my name falling in a chant from his lips, punctuated by mewling whimpers. Smirking up at him, I eased my fingers under the elastic band while I nipped the pale skin on his hipbone. I sucked the tender flesh between my teeth while I pulled his briefs down, one hand wrapping around his turgid length, the other gripping his ass to hold him still. With slow teasing strokes, I worked him over, my palm glossing over his head to gather the pre-cum beading at his slit. Carlisle's breath left him in a hiss, his legs quivering as I bruised his skin, then laved the mark I left behind with languid strokes of my tongue.

"Shit! Edward…too much...too long. I need…," Carlisle mumbled, his usual confidence crumbling under the weight of his own want.

Through lowered eyes he watched me, the heat of his gaze shooting straight to my own aching cock. Ignoring my own needs, I traced my tongue up the silky underside of his shaft, catching the thread of fluid dripping from the reddened tip, then engulfing it with my mouth. Hollowing my cheeks, I drew on the sensitive head, circling the ridge with my tongue and relishing the grasping pull of his hands in my hair. The thud in the room next door accelerated, the rhythmic pace lost in the frenzy of heady moans and growls that now fueled my need to make Carlisle's response louder. Bobbing my head in agonizingly slow movements, I worked my way down the shaft, leaving a glistening trail of saliva each time I drew back to the head. Finally taking him to the hilt, I breathed in the familiar musky sandalwood scent that was only his. Swallowing around the filling girth of him, I reluctantly drew back for more air, then plunged down his length again. His whimpers turned to growling pants, followed by a keening wail when I cupped his heavy sac, the tips of my fingers brushing against his perineum. Carlisle clawed at my shoulders, trying to push me away, while his hips bucked into my face.

"Wait…ungh…you have to…God, Edward! Stop!"

Stop? Was he serious? Reluctantly I released him from my mouth, my hands still stroking him, in hopes that he'd forget whatever had caused his hesitation.

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><p><strong><em>If things continue the way they have, you wont be waiting long for Carlisle's delay-I promise. <em>**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'll catch up on the replies soon, I hope.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fourteen<strong>

**EPOV**

Carlisle grabbed my wrists, stopping my ministrations. His slouched against the wall, his chest heaving his eyes clenched shut while he struggled to slow his breathing. I tried to pull my hand free, but he wouldn't loosen his grip. Why couldn't he understand all I wanted was to touch him, to watch him shudder and come undone, to love him? Tugging again, I was startled when his amber eyes flew open. Expecting to see regret or worse yet, anger reflected in them, I saw only raw need and desperation.

"I'm…too…close." The sentence came out in uneven pants, followed by a hard swallow. "There's been no one since…just, since, and I need to touch you."

When he tugged on my hands to pull me to my feet, I went willingly, stunned by his admission and embarrassed by my frequent hook-ups in the first couple months after I left. Walking out of his life had proved easier than fucking him out of my mind. I allowed him to push me back toward the bed, thankful that the noise from next door had decreased, even if the hallway had become busier. Feeling the edge of the mattress behind my knees, I collapsed on it, pulling him down next to me.

His demanding mouth sought out mine again, while he busied his hands with the fastenings on my jeans. Lifting my hips, I helped shove the confining denim out of the way; shifting my feet to toe off my shoes and toss the jeans God knew where. The burst of cool air across my heated cock caused a shiver, followed by my hips pushing into the fist he wrapped around me. With every alternating stroke, he palmed the engorged head, the accumulating pre-cum slicking his way. Coming up for air, he nipped his way across my jaw line, then followed the curve of my neck with his tongue.

I slid the tips of my fingers down the line of his spine, before pulling him to straddle my legs. Bending my knees for him to brace himself against them, I teased down his crack, loving when he arched against me, his cock bouncing above his stroking hand. Adding his cock to his grip with his free hand, Carlisle jacked us both, the flushed heads peeking out of his hand with every stroke, a steady stream of moisture coating us both. Gripping his hips, I dug my heels in to rock with him, desperation in my every movement.

"Car…God, babe…I…I…FUCK!" I howled, the coiling tension tightening my sac against my body, my orgasm rapidly approaching.

I wanted, _needed_, to be buried balls deep inside him when I came. I'd missed him – his smell, his touch, the way he came undone when he reached his peak. Hissing out a warning to him, I tried to slow things down so I could prep him, when I realized I couldn't do it. When I'd packed my bag, I'd never expected anything to happen on the trip, so I skipped over packing the lube and condoms that were tucked in my night table; condoms I hadn't needed when we'd been together and exclusive, before I walked out. Even though I'd been careful since then, I'd never jeopardize him that way. Pulled out of the moment by my inner musings, I stopped responding to Carlisle's touch, castigating myself instead for the mistakes I'd made.

Sensing the shift in my mood, Carlisle slowed his hand, trailing the other through the trimmed trail of hair on my abdomen, before stroking circles around a darkened areola. Wincing at the deliciously painful tweak he followed the tender touch with, my eyes fluttered shut. My mind warred with the driving passion that threatened to overcome me.

"I didn't…I forgot…Idon'thaveanythingwithme." The words rolled out in a rush, hoping to prevent the chilling influence they were sure to have.

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><p><em><strong>Be prepared, the next chapter will post as soon as I wake up. <strong>_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

_**No long-ass author's note; as promised first thing this morning… **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Fifteen<strong>

**EPOV**

Confusion filled Carlisle's eyes, before being replaced by understanding.

"Oh…ooooohhhhhhhhh." His drawn out response did nothing to stop the tingling at the base of my spine, especially since his hand continued to move over us both. Leaning forward, Carlisle whispered against my lips, "This works. Let me make you feel good." He kissed me again, his hand picking back up the tempo.

Punching a hand into the bed, I looked away from him, wanting more than we could have. Then, my eyes fell on the basket on the dresser. Rolling my eyes at the thought of using the campy gifts, I cringed, before smirking at the irony of George's attempt at seduction working out in my favor. Wrapping my fingers around Carlisle's wrist, I stopped him.

"Wait, I've got an idea." Rolling him off me, I leaned over to drag my tongue down his chest, whorling through the hair on his abdomen, before sliding up his shaft to taste our mingled cum. "Don't move."

Carlisle snorted in response, while I darted over to the dresser. Snagging a bottle of lube and the condoms, I pounced back on the bed to kneel next to him.

"Compliments of Mr. Takei," I growled, offering a wink to take the sting out of my tone.

Carlisle's eyebrow lifted, while his hands searched across the blanket, zeroing in on the box. Seeing the logo he groaned, before ripping the end off and pulling out a strip of five condoms.

"This might get us through the night," he answered sarcastically, before gasping at the cold stream of lube I drizzled onto his perineum.

Stopping it with my fingers, I teased across the puckered opening, before easing my index finger through the tight ring of muscle. Carlisle rolled his hips up into my hand, his ass lifting off the bed. Taking advantage of his movement, I grabbed a pillow to place underneath him, raising his body where I needed it to be. His whine encouraged me to add a second finger, thrusting them deep, then twisting while I eased them out, seeking the sweet spot that would have him writhing in no time. I captured his smooth sac in the palm of my other hand, moving the heavy orbs in time with the plunging of my fingers in and out of his needy ass. Carlisle ripped a condom from the strip, straining to roll it over me while I scissored my fingers to stretch the unused muscles.

"I'm ready, Edward. I need you. Right. Fucking. Now."

Eager to comply, I eased my fingers out of him, before settling between his thighs, my sheathed head bumping against the furled skin. Rising up on my knees, I pushed his legs back to his chest where he could grab them. I squeezed some more lube into my hand, stroking myself, then grabbed the base of my shaft to press into him. A litany of curses, mingled with my name, fell from his lips when I breached the tight hole, causing me to pause.

"Don't stop. I want to feel all of you filling me," he muttered between tightly clenched teeth.

Pushing forward a bit more, I rocked my hips back, then plunged a hair deeper. Rolling my hips to pull back again, I sighed when he slid his foot up my chest to rest his foot over my shoulder. Kissing the taut muscle in his calf, I thrust forward again, not stopping until my balls rested on his ass.

"Fuck!" We both exclaimed. Even with a six month break, our bodies fell into the easy synchronization built from years of being together.

Rocking and thrusting in unison, the earlier tension quickly rebuilt, both of us teetering on the edge. Palming Carlisle's ass, I dug in my fingers, seeking purchase on flesh covered in a slippery sheen of sweat. My hips snapped into him, all rhythm lost while I chased relief from the tension knotting every inch of my spine. His dick throbbed between us, the moisture from it pooling where it bounced against his abdomen.

Letting go with my right hand, I slid it up his lightly furred thigh, intent on stroking him to completion. I never made it. With a shout, Carlisle tensed, his legs curling around me, just before his dick erupted, milky streams arcing out across his chest and stomach. Seeing him come before I could touch him sent me over. Shoving deep into my lover one last time, I bellowed his name, charges of electricity setting my nerve endings on fire, while I pulsed my release into the condom. I shuddered against his legs, seeking his mouth before collapsing, unable to stay upright any longer.

A cheer sounded in the hallway; the laser tag game obviously over. I chuckled into Carlisle's shoulder when he responded to it.

"My sentiments exactly."

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><p><em><strong>Mmmmhhhhhmmmmm…nothing beats reading sex with breakfast. Reviews are love. <strong>_


	16. Chapter 16

_**Much love and thanks to nails233, butterflybetty, SlashKittenMina, and MaverickWrit for your love, support, and hand-holding! I couldn't have done it without you all. **_

_**Thanks for all the love and reviews. I can't even begin to tell you what they mean to me.  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixteen<strong>

Once my heart stopped pounding in my chest, its staccato rhythm echoed by Carlisle's under my cheek, I pushed myself up on my elbows. Brushing aside the shock of blonde hair that had fallen across Carlisle's brow, I studied the handsome man lying below me. His eyes were closed, the light brown lashes resting, feather-light, on his cheeks. Under the heat of my gaze, his amber eyes drifted open, a flicker of an inexplicable emotion shadowing their depths. Tracing the pads of my fingers across features I knew almost as well as I knew my own, I tried not to reveal my resurging feelings. Losing Makenna wasn't easy on him; I didn't want what happened between us to mean nothing more than a reaffirmation of life. Most of all, I didn't want him t think he'd made a horrible mistake. Apparently, I didn't hide my racing thoughts well enough.

"No regrets, okay?" Carlisle whispered against my fingers that rested on his lips. I opened my mouth to reply, but was stopped by him pulling me down to capture my lips in a toe-curling kiss. Breaking apart breathlessly, he repeated his words. "No regrets…ever."

Nodding, I looked down at our fused bodies, a wry smile forming on my mouth.

"I need to move." I reached between us to grab the base of the condom while I withdrew from the tightness that enveloped me like a second skin. Placing a kiss under his jaw, I continued, "I'll be right back, don't go anywhere."

Carlisle laughed, "Not planning on it. The hallway is downright scary, not to mention the fact that I'm covered with cum and my legs feel like Jello."

Smirking, I crawled off the bed, then sauntered to the bathroom. Dropping a washcloth in the sink, I turned on the hot water before removing the condom and dropping it into the wastebasket. The closer proximity to the door allowed me to overhear the diminishing sounds of the combatants biding each other good night, before drifting off to their own rooms. Lifting the cloth from under the running water, I squeezed it out and wiped my body down, then rinsed it out, returning to the bed with it in my hand.

Carlisle remained where I left him; his lithe body sprawled out across the bed, the pillow still under his ass, his face relaxed in blissful lethargy. Kneeling next to him, I pulled out the pillow, tossing it to the top of the bed. I drew the wet cloth down his body, cleaning up the mess that covered his torso. Moving down the trail of hair, I watched, fascinated, while the strands darkened from the moisture. Circling the base of his softening cock, I leaned over to take him in my mouth, my tongue swirling around to gather every drop that glistened on him, while I washed the lube-slicked skin of his ass. I braced one arm across his hips when they flexed, trying to lift toward me. Finishing him off, I tossed the rag on the floor, then helped Carlisle pull the covers down, joining him under the cool, cotton sheets.

We'd both lain on our backs, neither of us moving closer to the other, our hands barely touching where they rested on the mattress. The sexual tension had been replaced with a debilitating anxiety that permeated every corner of the room, its essence headier than the lingering smell of sweat and sex. Too tired to take a shower, I leaned over to turn out the light, feeling the bed shift behind me when Carlisle rolled over. With the room submerged in darkness, I returned to my back, expecting him to have turned away from me. Instead, the warmth of his slow, even breaths danced across my skin.

Looking toward him, I saw his face relaxed in sleep, the tension I'd noted when I first saw him after Makenna's death had been erased, replaced by a beatific half smile. I slid my hand under the pillow his head rested on, gathering him to me. While I wasn't ready to vocalize my mistakes, I knew I couldn't let him go again. I sighed when he settled into my side, our legs tangling together, his head tucked into the crook of my neck. Giving up the fight against the exhaustion that threatened to overtake me, I inhaled the sandalwood scent the hovered around him. Allowing it to lead me into dreams of what the future might hold, I prayed he'd find a way to forgive my wayward ass for ever leaving in the first place.

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><p><strong><em>No regrets? Is it ever that easy?<em>**


	17. Chapter 17

_**Much love and thanks for the SotTP. You ladies rock my world, daily. As always, I don't own it, SM does. While I prefer to have Jasper star in my fantasies, I might could develop an affinity for this pair. **_

_**I'd hoped to post this yesterday, but my computer had different ideas. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen<strong>

**EPOV**

I slowly drifted awake the next morning, disoriented by my surroundings, but comfortable in the cocoon of warmth that enveloped me. Blinking sleep-laden eyes against the sliver of light that angled through the drawn drapes to fall across the pillows, I snuggled back against the body stretched out behind me. Allowing my eyes to flutter close, the realization of _who _the body belonged to slapped me awake, shock over my actions the night before causing me to tense up. Preparing to pull away, I stilled when Carlisle tightened his arm around my mid-section, his hand sliding toward my now throbbing morning wood. Hoping his actions were more than reflex bred by years of familiarity, I tried to relax. Feathery kisses drifted across my shoulder, followed by his raspy voice.

"Morning, love." More kisses, then, "What time is it?"

Before I could reply, he leaned up over me to look at the clock on the nightstand, scrambling out of bed when he saw the blinking red display. He rushed over to the suitcases, pulling out a fresh change of clothes. Mesmerized by the sight of him naked, one I hadn't fully enjoyed the night before, I didn't hear his hurried words.

"Sorry, what?"

I said, we have to check out in an hour," he repeated, scurrying to gather up his discarded clothes from the night before, hastily cramming them in his bag. "I don't know about you, but I need a shower." His voice dripped with innuendo.

Nodding my head, I slid my legs out from under the covers, sitting up on the edge of the bed. Careful to keep my burgeoning erection covered with the heavy blankets, I struggled to keep things casual, all the while fighting the urge to drag him back to bed and fuck him until he was mine again. Scrubbing my hands over my face, I shoved one through my hair, the other dropping to absently scratching my chest. It wasn't until I heard the water in the shower that I mobilized into action. Digging through my bag, I grabbed clothes, including fresh underwear, adding my toiletries bag to the pile. Pulling on the boxer briefs from the day before, I shoved the rest of my dirty clothes into an outside pocket, I looked around to make sure I hadn't missed anything. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the discarded basket on the dresser, then spotted the bottle of lube and strip of condoms that had fallen on the floor. With a guilty sigh, I snatched them up, adding them to my bag.

I knew Carlisle wanted me to join him in the shower, but I couldn't bring myself to push what was happening between us any further right then. I still didn't know what his feelings were, didn't know if Makenna's death had influenced his decision in any way. Squashing the urge to give in and join him, I called the desk instead, letting them know we'd be checking out shortly.

Hearing the water cut off in the shower, I steeled my face into a mask of indifference. Being a pity fuck didn't fit into my grand plan. I wanted Carlisle back, body, heart, and soul. Until the two of us could sit down and talk, I couldn't risk anymore of my heart.

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><p><strong><em>Pity fuck? Oh Edward. <em>**


	18. Chapter 18

_**All my love to the SotTP and their support of my many descents into madness. Thanks muchly to everyone who reads and reviews. You give my foolishness credibility. **_

_**As always, SM owns it, I just get to play in her sandbox. **_

_**Sorry the updates are so slow- My computer is trying its best to die, while I am struggling to nurse it through, at least until after Christmas. It tried to lose all of my files on Sunday, but with the help of a friend, we were able to eventually recover everything and clean it up. Keep your fingers crossed for me.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen<strong>

**CPOV**

Waking up with Edward in my arms had been pure bliss. Snuggling closer to him, I trailed slow, open kisses across the hard angles of his shoulders. I let my hand drift across the rippled planes of his abdomen, drifting lower, to move within inches of the erection that brushed against the back of my fingers. A shift in the sun's rays brought the glare across my eyes, reminding me of the time, and the long drive still ahead of us.

"Morning, love." I punctuated my words with more kisses, willing away the tension in his body. There were other ways to chase it away. Maybe…"What time is it?"

I leaned up to check the clock while I spoke, cursing to myself when I realized how late we'd slept. Rapidly crawling out of the bed, I stifled a groan at the pendulous weight of my own cock swinging between my thighs. I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed with Edward all day…or at least long enough to curb my craving for him.

"We have to check out in forty-five minutes." The words left me in a rush, while I tried to shove back my frustration over the lack of time.

Perhaps, if Edward joined me in the shower…

Looking over my shoulder at him, I noticed he hadn't moved. Feeling my gaze on him, he looked up, then apologized, asking me to repeat myself. I did, while pulling out fresh clothing, hinting at him joining me in the shower. When he still didn't move, I scooped up the discarded clothes from the night before, my hands lingering on the destroyed shirt, before shoving it all in my bag. Strolling into the bathroom, still naked, I pushed the door closed. If he changed his mind, he wouldn't find it locked.

Turning on the shower, I let the water warm up while I went to the bathroom. After washing my hands, I pulled what I needed from my toiletries bag on the counter. Stepping under the pulsing spray, I let the water beat against my well-used muscles. I relished the ache, letting the memories of the night before fill my mind. I'd encouraged George's advances, knowing Edward watched; I'd brushed against him in the elevator, determined to get a reaction out of him. No matter what his feelings were, I knew he wanted me.

Rinsing the shampoo from my hair, I followed it with conditioner, my actions rote, my mind elsewhere. When Edward whirled on me after we entered the room, I'd been stunned speechless by the vehemence in his tone. Saved by the knock, I turned away to enter the main part of the room, wondering if I'd pushed him to far, past desire to blinding rage. His temper was rare, but ran hot when it exploded.

The waiting bed pulled me up short. Would it be one more thing that pushed him too far? While Edward dealt with whoever waited at the door, I'd worried over the single, king-size bed dominating the center of the room. Could I share a bed and not touch him? Not hold him?

In the end it hadn't mattered. The arrival of George's 'gift' exceeded the limits of Edward's self-control. Filling the washcloth with soap, I lathered my body, immersing myself in the memories of Edward's jealous possession of my body. Stroking down my body, I flinched when the rough cloth rubbed across the bruise on my hip. Tracing my fingers across the tender skin, I shivered when my dick responded. Moving the cloth between my legs, I considered jacking off, dismissing the idea just as quickly. With Edward in the other room, and unwilling to join me, I didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable.

Flipping the water to cold, I stepped under the icy spray wincing at the shock. It's ridiculous that I'd been forced to resort to cold showers, instead of Edward and me slaking each other's needs. Shivering from the temperature change, I stepped out of the tub and grabbed a towel. While I scrubbed my body dry, I tried to figure out what the next step would be. One thing I knew for sure, I wasn't going to let him avoid dealing with what happened. We needed to talk… soon.

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><p><strong><em>Well, they are almost on the same page...sort of.<br>_**


	19. Chapter 19

_**All my love to the SotTP and their support of my many descents into madness. Thanks muchly to everyone who reads and reviews. You give my foolishness credibility. **_

_**As always, SM owns it, I just get to play in her sandbox. **_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nineteen<strong>

**EPOV**

The minute Carlisle stepped out of the bathroom; I rushed past him, my rock hard dick still an issue, fueled by the thought of him in the shower… soap slicking his skin, the lather cascading down his body, to be rinsed away by the sluicing water. The images assaulted me, along with a familiar lingering scent that was wholly his. Shutting the door with more force than necessary, I flipped on the water, hoping to overpower the reminder of him, while castigating myself.

Why the hell was I denying us what we both wanted? The answer, while obvious, made it no less painful – both mentally and physically. _Grieving process…rebound...need for affirmation._ I stepped into the frigid water, groaning at the needle-sharp spray, while hurrying through my ablutions.

The cold shower did little to abate my problem, but I doubted anything but Carlisle could solve it. Toweling my hair dry, I passed on a shave, determined to get back on the road. The sooner we got to Arizona and handled Makenna's funeral, the sooner we could talk about us. While she'd never pushed the issue, I'd known she'd secretly harbored hope that we would get back together.

_Here's your chance, _I thought, hoping for an afterlife where she still watched over us, g_et us to Arizona quickly, and I'll handle the rest._ Pausing to stare into the mirror, I added,_ once everything is settled; and not one minute longer. I've wasted too much time already._

I picked up my toiletries, stepping quietly out of the bathroom. Unaware of my presence, I caught Carlisle staring at the bed, an uncertain look on his face. _Please, don't let him regret it._ Taking a step backward, I banged the door against the wall, then cleared my throat to warn him of my approach.

"You ready?"

He'd turned toward his bag, slinging it over his shoulder in response to my question.

"Yeah, I'm good. We missed the Continental breakfast. I'm sure it wasn't anything more than Danish and coffee, though, so it's probably a good thing. If we hurry we can grab Mickey D's drive- through before they cut off breakfast service."

Nodding, I grabbed my own bag and followed him out of the room. The rest of the floor was quiet, probably still recovering from the late revelries of the night before. We rode the elevator in silence, both lost in our own thoughts. Stepping out in the lobby, I waited while he checked out; a cheerful young lady having taken over desk duties sometime during the night. She processed the bill, keeping up a steady stream of chatter while Carlisle signed the receipt. Offering him a smile with his copy and credit card, she wished us a safe trip.

"Come again soon!" She waved to me across the lobby. Shaking my head, I lifted my hand in acknowledgment, my inner monologue filling in what I didn't dare say out loud.

_I fucking wish._

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><p><em><strong>Don't we all, Edward! <strong>  
><em>


	20. Chapter 20

_**All my love to the SotTP and their support of my many descents into madness. Thanks muchly to everyone who reads and reviews. You give my foolishness credibility.  
><strong>_

_**As always, SM owns it, I just get to play in her sandbox. **_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty<strong>

**EPOV**

An hour later, after a quick stop for McDonald's and a refill on the gas tank, we were back on the road, the late morning sun becoming hotter the further southwest we drove. We'd barely spoken since we left the hotel, the tension from the morning before once again permeating the car. I'd hoped Carlisle would say something, anything, but he seemed determined to keep quiet. The stoic mask had fallen back in place, too, causing me to hesitate over pushing him to talk.

If nothing else, though, three years together had taught me how to read his body language. Drawing on that, I evaluated the facts. His shrouded expression meant he was mulling over something. The tense set of his body and the white knuckles clenched around the steering wheel in a death grip revealed his forced inaction. It was the same thing I'd witnessed whenever he'd stifled a reaction – good or bad – to any given situation where it might be misconstrued. He wanted to talk, too; it was written in every hesitant move and twitch of his jaw. But everything about his demeanor screamed I'd have to be the one to start the conversation. How the fuck would I do that?

If he'd been more at ease, maybe rested his hand on the seat or something, some of the tension would've been averted. I could have touched him, been able to establish some kind of connection before opening up to him. Instead, it felt like the Grand Canyon had taken up residence where the car's center console used to be.

Fighting the urge to reach over and peel his hand off the steering wheel, I resigned myself to starring at the passing canvas of nature out the window. The land had become flatter, the earth scorched by the harsh summer sun, unquenched by a lack of rainfall in months. Despite the almost drought conditions, though, tufts of hearty grass sprouted in spots, the trees' sunken roots finding hidden pockets of moisture buried deep underground to nourish the still verdant leaves that filled the branches. The lesson from Mother Nature hit me like a virtual bitch slap.

Carlisle and I, our relationship, could be those trees. Though buried under hurt and rejection, the roots had been strong; they just needed to be fed. Maybe waiting until after the funeral wouldn't be the best course of action. I didn't want to put any added pressure on him, not while he needed to deal with his grief, but couldn't I find a way to let him know he could count on me for more than just friendship…if he wanted it? I'd been the one to walk away; I needed to be the one to man up and come clean, too.

Steeling my nerves, I gave one last look at the undulating scenery, before turning my attention back to the man next to me. From the corner of my eye, while turning my head, I saw him snap his focus back to the lined asphalt stretching for miles in front of the car. A fleeting flicker of confusion flashed in his eyes, before the mask fell back in place once more. He waited for me. Clearing my throat, I laid my hand on the seat between us, angling my body in his direction before speaking.

"Carlisle, about last night…," I paused hoping he'd look at me, though I doubted it would make eating my humble pie any easier. When he didn't, I began again. "I have no excuse for my actions. I had no right to act the way I did; but the thought of you with someone else…"

"Why would that bother you, Edward? You left, remember?" He turned toward me then, his eyes darkened, highlighting the pain tainting his words. "You were done, you didn't want me anymore. You know, I'm not a fucking toy that you can take out to play with when you want, then discard when something better comes along. Last night was…"

I interrupted him, hoping to forestall anything being said that we might both regret.

"Last night was incredible; the best thing to happen in my life since I was stupid enough to walk away from what we had."

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><p><em><strong>Well, now- there's a loaded statement. *shakes head* Boys are stupid.<br>**_

_**I'm trying to do review replies, but time constraints are making it tough. If I haven't replied yet, it certainly wasn't because I don't appreciate them. I recognize each one for the gift that it is, so please keep them coming. **_


	21. Chapter 21

_**All my love to the SotTP and their unfailing support for my many descents into madness. Thanks muchly to everyone who reads and reviews. You give my foolishness credibility.  
><strong>_

_**Special love to SlashKittenMina who has given my boys nicknames—Lostward and Brokenlisle. I love it Mina! **_

_**As always, SM owns it, I just get to play in her sandbox. **_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-One<strong>

**EPOV**

The hum of the tires did little to cut into the deafening silence that filled the car. My words hung in the air between us, the full impact weighing on the atmosphere like a lead balloon. Carlisle snapped his attention back to the road, the muscle in his jaw twitching, his fists twisting around the steering wheel. I opened my mouth, seeking to break the stalemate, when I saw Carlisle shaking his head. Slow, silent tears seeped from the corner of his eye, rolling down his cheek to fall on his navy blue polo shirt. My mouth snapped shut, but I couldn't look away, each drop feeling like an accusation, while the damp, dark spot on his shoulder widened with each one that fell. I'd pushed him too far.

"Carlisle," I tried again. He dropped his head, dragging his face across his sleeve, leaving another dark smear behind. "I never meant to hurt you, but I just couldn't do it anymore." Leaning over, I pried his hand loose from the steering wheel, tangling my fingers with his. "I needed you, I still need you. Everything you did made me feel like you didn't need me."

"I…It's…," he paused when his voice broke. Swallowing hard, his lips pursed before puffing out with a deep sigh. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "I can't do this while I'm driving, Edward. Please….can we shelve it, at least until we stop again?"

Studying his face for signs of avoidance, I saw none, only nervous resignation. Nodding my head in silent acquiescence, I gave his hand a squeeze, before laying our twined fingers on the seat between us. I loosened my grip, expecting him to pull away. Instead, he wrapped his hand tighter around mine, while his shoulders visibly relaxed. Balancing the steering wheel with his knee, he pulled his sunglasses off the collar of his shirt and slid them on. I didn't miss his unwillingness to break the tenuous connection created by our clasped hands.

The mood in the car eased, even with the prospect of a potentially volatile conversation in the near future. While I hadn't wanted to bring everything up before the funeral, leaving it sit would only make it worse in the long run, given the events of the previous night. I settled myself back against the seat, still angled toward him, allowing my eyes to drink in his profile, while I tried to think of the right words to say, what I needed to tell him, in order for him to understand why I'd made the decision I had.

His angry outburst ran through my mind, but I focused on his tone, not the words themselves. There had been pain, anger in them. Maybe it wasn't over for him, either. My decision to leave hadn't been made lightly, even if it seemed that way to him at the time. I'd stopped fighting with him when I felt my words were falling on deaf ears, but I'd stayed for almost two months after the last one, in hopes that things would change.

The tenants who'd sublet my apartment had given me thirty days' notice the week prior to our last argument, yet I chose to list it for rent again, not wanting to make a hasty decision in a fit of pique. Even after the tenants moved out, freeing up my place if I wanted to leave, I'd waited for a sign that Carlisle was still vested in our relationship. When he missed yet another evening we'd planned to spend together, I reached the end of my rope. He'd never known that I stood in the hallway outside our door, after it clicked closed behind me that last night, contemplating the possibility of turning around and trying one last time. It had taken every remaining shred of my self-control to walk away.

In the easy silence, I relaxed. My body felt lethargic, my mind fuzzy, the emotional impact of what was to come washing over me. Despite my efforts to the contrary, my eyes drifted shut and I dozed off, mentally and physically exhausted.

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><p><em><strong>Well, now. I could say a lot, but I think someone else could say it better. Carlisle's POV is up next, later on today. <strong>_


	22. Chapter 22

_**All my love to the SotTP and their unfailing support for my many descents into madness. **_

_**Thanks muchly to everyone who reads and reviews. You give my foolishness credibility. As of this afternoon, if you have reviewed since the 30th of November, I have replied to everything (YAY ME)! Prior to that was when FF was in fail mode on doing replies from the email alerts, and I'll be honest I don't have the patience to do it the hard way.  
><strong>_

_**As always, SM owns it, I just get to play in her sandbox. **_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Two<strong>

**CPOV**

For the second time in twenty-four hours, I watched my former lover sleeping in the seat next to me. The minute the angry words had left my mouth, I wanted to snatch them back. I knew they would hurt him; a part of me wanted to hurt him, like he'd hurt me. I'd expected him to lash back at me, not confess he'd made a mistake. His quiet revelations wounded me even more. Over and over, the word why pounded against my brain. If he still felt the same way, then why? Why did he leave? Why didn't he talk to me first? Why didn't I see it coming?

While my hand lay cradled in his, his chest moving with his quiet, even breaths, I reflected back on the months before he left. The market had hit a slump; business had been shitty, and the pressure at work had amped up. The stress had taken a heavy toll on everyone at the office, while we all scrambled to save our accounts and hoped the axe wouldn't fall. I poured everything I had into work, spending extra hours every day at the office after I finished on the exchange floor. I'd drag myself home at night; wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of the evening quietly at home.

On more than one occasion, I'd bailed on plans to go out with Edward, but I thought he understood my reasons for cancelling. Apparently, I'd been wrong. I remembered several heated arguments revolving around him needing more from me, but I hadn't understood what _more _was. Eventually, he'd stopped pushing me and I never questioned it, thankful that peace reigned once again in the condo. In retrospect, I could see where Edward had given up, long before he walked away. By the time the arguments stopped, he hadn't only stopped fighting _with_ me, he stopped fighting _for_ me.

What had I done? I tightened my grip on his hand, my chest aching at the thought that I'd been placing all the blame on the wrong set of shoulders. As much as I needed to get to Arizona, I needed to resolve the situation between Edward and me even more. Looking at the GPS, I checked the travel time, then the tank level on the gas gauge. Still almost half a tank, and a good ten to twelve hours left, depending on traffic and stops.

While I debated an earlier stop then I'd first planned, my mind ran through the arrangements I still needed to finalize once I got to Nan's. The memorial service was already scheduled for late Monday afternoon. I still needed to pick out her clothes, visit the funeral home, call the minister from her church, and call the caterer for the small luncheon I'd planned with her friends for after the memorial service. It was nearly four in the afternoon. Even driving straight through, it would be well after midnight when we got in. Nothing required a phone call before the next afternoon.

With my mind made up, I started watching road signs for some place to stop to eat. Seeing a sign for a Cracker Barrel thirty miles up the road, and knowing Edward's penchant for their food, I decided to pull off at the advertised exit. While I didn't want to talk in a crowded restaurant, I also didn't want to do it on an empty stomach. I'd find an out of the way place after we ate where we could sit and have a long overdue heart to heart. Rubbing my thumb across his knuckles, I resisted the urge to lift his hand to my lips. Instead, I searched my heart for the right words to tell him how much I still wanted him in my life. If I could get it right, there'd be plenty of time for tenderness after we talked.

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><p><em><strong>A couple reviewers have expressed concern over Edward's willingness to shoulder all the blame. It was never my intent to make him the scapegoat for their break-up, but Carlisle needed impetus before he could face his own culpability. No relationship break-up is ever wholly one-sided, but sometimes laying blame, rather than facing your own shit, is easier than removing the blinders to see the full picture. <strong>_


	23. Chapter 23

_**All my love to the SotTP and their unfailing support for my many descents into madness. Thanks muchly to everyone who reads and reviews. You give my foolishness credibility.**_

_**As always, SM owns it, I just get to play in her sandbox. **_

_**Music: **_

_**Norah Jones:Don't Know Why**_

_**Lifehouse: Whatever It Takes**_

_**and on continuous loop _**City & Colour : Sometimes (I Wish) **_  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Three<strong>

**CPOV**

Pulling off the highway, I followed the towering sign toward the restaurant parking lot. Unwilling to let go of Edward yet, I reached over the steering wheel to shift the car into park. I allowed the engine to idle, Norah Jones' sultry voice filling the quiet interior. The words took root in my heart, reminding me of all the whys I needed to figure out. Blaming Edward for my pain had been easy; it allowed me to rage against a fickle universe determined to destroy every moment of happiness in my life, while never having to examine why things had ended the way they did. It had only taken one statement, though, spoken out of hurt and anguish, to unleash a maelstrom of memories that my guilty subconscious had suppressed for far too long.

Studying Edward's peaceful countenance, my mind drifted back to the last night we'd been together in our home. Once again, I'd worked later than usual. Walking into the living room, I'd discovered him sitting on the sofa, hunched over with his head down, his hands sliding anxiously along the side of his jeans. When I'd asked if everything was okay, he'd looked up, his eyes so full of pain that I'd immediately rushed across the room. Holding out a hand to stop my progress, Edward had simply stood and allowed the words, "I'm leaving," to fall from his mouth in a whispered rush. I'd been so shell-shocked; I could only focus on the shape of his lips, the full curve of the bottom, the natural dark rose tint that always made them appear as if he'd just been kissed. Lips I'd savored; lips that had made me feel both worshipped and powerless all at once. Lips that now tore my world to pieces.

Even more than his words or the pain in his eyes, I remembered most the resignation in his posture. He'd made his decision; nothing would dissuade him. Preserving what dignity I could, I asked him if he was sure, already knowing the answer. While I couldn't remember all that he'd said after telling me it was over, one sentence had haunted me in the interim months. When he passed me on his way to the door, he'd paused, for the briefest of seconds, and in an anguished whisper he'd apologized to me – not for leaving, but for not being enough. With the new clarity brought about by my introspection, I finally understood what he meant.

If only I hadn't been so blind.

Dallas Green replaced Norah Jones, the change in music barely breaking my focus on the sleeping man whose hand I still held. I gripped the steering wheel, fighting the urge to trace the angular cheekbones and chiseled jaw with my fingertips, features I knew better than my own. Edward had said he still needed me; but would he forgive me? Did I deserve it, even if he could? I'd been inflexible, taken him for granted when he'd only wanted some of my time in return for the love he freely gave.

By a quirk of twisted irony, my career, the one thing that had driven the greatest wedge between us; became the saving grace for my sanity once he'd left. To quell the ache created by his absence, I numbed my emotions by burying myself even deeper into my work. The extra efforts ended up garnering me a substantial promotion at a time when many others were losing their jobs. The change in my job requirements left me with more free time than I'd had since graduating college, but its pursuit had cost me the only person I wanted to spend it with.

Sitting in the lonely, empty rooms of the condo made me maudlin, my attention focusing too much on what I'd lost, so I took to the streets of Chicago, exploring the sights I'd always wanted to see, the ones I'd once thought I'd enjoy with Edward. I was no longer the man he'd left behind, but, like the song that swirled around me, could I be the simple man he needed? With a icy fear washing over my heart, I still found a flickering ember of hope to hang onto. He'd chosen to be with me when I needed someone after I found out about Nan. It was a start, right?

My fingers shaking with trepidation, I loosened my grip on the steering wheel to push aside the shock of molten copper hair that had fallen across his brow. Murmuring his name, I lightly shook his shoulder, my fingers teasing across the sensitive spot behind his ear. When he stirred, his deep, malachite eyes opening amidst a flurry of blinking, he offered me a tender smile before struggling to sit up. He squeezed my hand, coughing to clear his throat before speaking, but still not letting go.

"Is everything okay? How long was I out? Do you need me to drive?" His eyes shifted toward the windshield. "Oh, is it time to eat already? Where are we?"

Smiling, I tried to answer all of his questions, "Everything is fine, but I'm starting to feel hungry. When I saw the Cracker Barrel sign, I figured it was the perfect time to stop. You slept a couple of hours; you must have needed the rest." Distracted by his thumb absently stroking lazy circles across the back of my hand, I had to pause to regroup my thoughts. "It's half past five now. By the time we finish eating, it'll be near seven – seven thirty, and there's still a good seven hours of driving ahead of us. We may need to stop again overnight, if only so I'm not a walking zombie when I meet with the minster and funeral director tomorrow." I kept my gaze even with his so he could see my sincerity. Then, letting down the barrier I'd erected to protect my heart and leaving myself vulnerable, I continued, "I promised we'd talk, too, and that's more important than anything else right now."

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><p><em><strong>I need to ask for my readers' indulgence for a couple weeks. I am scrambling to complete papers for school that are all due by Christmas Eve. I am also heavily involved in the Toys4Tots Christmas Wishes Compilation that will be releasing on Christmas Eve, both as an administrator and a writer. In addition, I am still a single mom trying to run a house and take care of four kids by myself. This story turned into way more than I'd ever intended, and while I don't regret it, I need time to take care of my real life situations. I want to tackle my writing with a clear conscience, knowing I have taken care of my obligations first. <strong>_


	24. Chapter 24

_***taps screen* Miss me?**_

_**I hope everyone had an amazing holiday! I'm jumping right back in on posting this. There will be at least one post a day until it's done. **_

_**All my love to the SotTP and their unfailing support for my many descents into madness. Thanks muchly to everyone who read, reviewed, and is still hanging in there. **_

_**As always, SM owns it, I just get to play in her sandbox. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Four<strong>

**EPOV**

A gentle shake, followed by the whisper-soft brush of a finger behind my ear, brought me awake. Blinking rapidly to get my bearings, I realized the car had stopped. Amazed that Carlisle's hand still rested in mine, I gave it a squeeze while I worked myself to a sitting position, but didn't let go. I'd keep whatever contact I could get. He'd pulled into a Cracker Barrel parking lot, the engine still idling. Concerned, I asked if he needed me to drive. The sun still sat pretty high in the sky, the glare preventing me from seeing the clock on the dashboard.

Once he assured me that everything was fine, he suggested we grab something to eat. When he went on to explain that we'd need to stop overnight again, my heart stopped. Spending another night alone with him, given what happened the night before, made me nervous as hell. While I wanted nothing more than to spend the night wrapped up in and around Carlisle, with everything left unresolved I knew it would be a bad idea. When he paused, I searched his hazel eyes, overwhelmed by the emotion that filled them. My thumb traced careless circles on the back of his hand, keeping us connected, grounded. His next words left me speechless.

"I promised we'd talk, and that's more important than anything else right now."

I couldn't miss the anxious determination in his voice. Knowing it probably wasn't the right decision, I gave in to temptation. Leaning over, while tugging his hand to pull him closer, I brushed my lips across his, pulling back before either of us could deepen the kiss.

"Let's eat first. Then we can find a quiet place to talk. I owe you an explanation for my actions."

"You're not the only one," Carlisle insisted. "I did a lot of thinking while you slept. I'm not blameless in all of this, either. But you're right. We should eat first. May I buy you dinner?"

"No you may not," I retorted. "You've picked up most of the expenses thus far; I'll buy dinner." Lifting his hand to my lips, I placed kisses along the back of his knuckles, noting the shiver that moved through him at the simple gesture. Hope beat a steady tattoo in my chest."Let me do this, please."

"Fine, but I'm covering the hotel tonight." When I started to protest, he cut me off. "I'm serious, Edward. Trust me, it's not a hardship to pay for it. Business has been very good; I've done well the past few months."

I acquiesced with a nod. Reluctantly, I let go of his hand to exit the car. Meeting him in front of the building, Carlisle surprised me by reaching for my hand again. With the dinner rush not having started yet, we were seated right away. Surprisingly, few looks were shot our direction, despite the small town we'd stopped in. I mentally shrugged, thankful that we wouldn't have to deal with a spate of homophobia on top of everything else we had in front of us.

Carlisle ordered a soda before excusing himself to the restroom. By the time he returned, our drinks had been delivered, our waitress returning soon after to take our orders. Once he'd decided on what to eat and set the menu aside, he twined his fingers through mine again. Enjoying the simple contact, I tried not to build it up too much in my mind, needing to hold onto a shred of my dignity if the conversation didn't work out like I hoped. We'd easily slipped into the simple camaraderie we'd once shared when our relationship first began. I didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize it.

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><p><em><strong>Here's hoping y'all have forgiven my extended absence and my deepest gratitude to those who have waited patiently for this to continue. <strong>_


	25. Chapter 25

_**All my love to the SotTP and their unfailing support for my many descents into madness. Thanks muchly to everyone who read, reviewed, and is still hanging in there. **_

_**As always, SM owns the boys, I just make them kiss... and stuff *wink*. **_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-Five<strong>

**EPOV**

While we waited, the two of us plucked at one of the little wooden puzzles sitting on the table. He teased me when he scored higher than I did, then argued good-naturedly over which peg to move when we tried a round together. Even when our dinners arrived, Carlisle seemed reluctant to release my hand, touching me whenever the opportunity presented itself. My body reacted to each one, the unconscious touch triggering a primal stirring inside me. My emotions were coiled tighter than a drum by the time we finished eating, lust coupled with a healthy dose of fear pinging through my body.

Picking up the check, I walked out to the registers to take care of it, then excused myself to the restroom before we left. Carlisle squeezed my hand before letting go, telling me he'd wait in the car. I relieved myself, then utilized the mirror to give myself a pep talk while I washed my hands. I planned what I'd say, determined to keep my emotional turmoil in check until we made some kind of progress. Even though Carlisle was willing to take some of the blame, I'd still walked away. If we stood any chance of working this out, we needed to find some sort of balance in our lives. Adding a silent prayer to my musings, I stepped outside. Carlisle lounged against the hood of the car, his legs stretched out in front of him, tension rolling off him in waves.

"We have two options," he offered, when I joined him."We can go ahead and check into a hotel and talk there, or I found a small park up the street on the GPS where we can park the car. Either is fine for me, but I didn't want to make any more misguided assumptions."

Quickly weighing the pros and cons of each suggestion, I stared into the distance. The hotel would afford us a great deal of privacy. The park held the bigger draw for me, though. If we could reach some sort of resolution, I'd rather it happened in a neutral place. That way, our evening at the hotel wouldn't be tainted by the lingering memories of our talk. I offered my choice to Carlisle, going so far as to explain my reasoning behind it.

"I think the park's the best option. We can clear the air, while keeping the tension out of the hotel room. I don't want to go to sleep another night with everything still unresolved between us." I stepped between his legs, moving my body to lean against his. "I'm prepared to take the time we need now, because if we can work this out, I plan on showing you in every way possible how much I regret leaving in the first place."

Carlisle swallowed convulsively, pulling me closer to fuse our hips together. His erection pressed against mine, confirming I wasn't the only one struggling to keep his desire under check. His eyes darkened under my scrutiny, before his eyes dropped to focus on where our bodies melded. Resting his head on my shoulder, he drew a deep breath, goose pimples rising on my skin from the caress of the warm air being drawn across it.

"I couldn't agree more. We should go now, before I do something that guarantees we're banned from every Cracker Barrel across the country."

Sliding out from underneath me, Carlisle settled himself into the car, revving the engine when he started it. Joining him, I laid my hand on the seat to see if he'd take up the unspoken offer. When he accepted the silent invitation, I bit back the shout of joy that filled my throat. Double checking the directions, he pulled out of the parking lot, following the mechanical voice that guided him to our destination. This was it. We were past the point of pussyfooting around. Either we were going to be completely honest and deal with this shit head on so we could start over, or we were going to be able to walk away friends when the trip ended. I didn't consider anything else a viable option.

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><p><em><strong>Next chapter — THE TALK. Edward is starting us off, but don't worry, Carlisle will get his say, too. <strong>_


	26. Chapter 26

_**All my love to the SotTP and the amazing support system they've given me. Thanks muchly to everyone who reads and reviews. You give my foolishness credibility.**_

_**The names belong to SM, but the overwhelming need to put them in bed together is all mine. **_

_**This will be the first of at least two updates, possibly three, today. This comes DESPITE harrytwifan's attempts to distract me with boy porn. Any and all outrage over future delays should be directed at her! **_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-six<strong>

**EPOV**

Within minutes, we found the community park the GPS directed us toward. Carlisle drove the perimeter, looking for an out of the way place to park. While he did, I admired the expansive recreational space. Running paths along nature trails headed off into a large wooded area surrounded several picnic pavilions and playgrounds, with nature trails and running paths disappearing into the trees. One of the larger play areas bustled with children, spillover from a birthday party being held in a pavilion decorated with balloons and streamers. Driving further, Carlisle found a parking spot near an empty pavilion situated away from the partygoers. An older wooden play area stood to the side of it, offering little more than a couple swings and a place to climb.

He hesitated a minute, before releasing my hand to put the car in park and turn off the engine. With the absence of the radio, the sounds of children playing outside seeped into the silent interior. Neither of us moved, both waiting for the other to go first. The reality of my earlier decision to handle the conversation sooner rather than later suddenly came back to haunt me. Taking in a deep breath, I closed my eyes, then puffed my cheeks to release in a slow exhale.

"Why don't we go sit under the pavilion?" I suggested, trying to fix my gaze anywhere but the man sitting next to me.

"Alright," he murmured, his voice so low I almost didn't hear him.

I paused a minute while he exited the car, once again trying to organize my thoughts. Then, knowing I couldn't avoid it any longer, I joined him by the front of the car. I gestured toward the tables, taking a step in their direction, when Carlisle placed a hand on my arm to stop me. Turning back to meet his eyes, I waited while he found the words he wanted to say.

"Please promise me one thing, Edward," he implored. "No matter what we decide about our relationship, can we at least try to remain friends? You've been a part of so many areas in my life that I want to be able to preserve some of that, after… Just, after."

"Car –,"

I tried to interject, but he became adamant.

"Please, Edward. I can deal with anything else, if I can keep your friendship."

Unable to speak, I nodded in agreement. The whole situation was insane. With each passing minute, it became painfully obvious we both wanted the same thing. We just needed to find a way to meet in the middle. Burying my hands deep in my pockets, I nudged him with my shoulder.

"Let's go sit down. I need to explain my actions to you."

Reaching the pavilion, we both clambered up to sit on the tabletop, our feet resting on the bench. Bracing my elbows on my knees, I searched for the right words to start. I knew, no matter what I said, Carlisle would be hurt, but I wanted to mitigate the damage as much as possible. Faced with the realization that there was no way around it, I decided to dive in.

"I know, when I left, I didn't really give you a reason." Swallowing hard against the lump in my throat, I dove into my side of things head first, praying he'd let me get through it before interrupting. "Let me try to get through this, then I'll answer any question you have, listen to any objection."

When he nodded, the damn broke, and all the emotional upheaval I'd stored for the better part of a year came tumbling out.

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><p><strong><em>The next two chapters are done, and Edward is running out of steam. I'll see if Carisle's ready to talk when I wake up in the morning.<em>**


	27. Chapter 27

_**All my love to the SotTP and their unfailing support for my many descents into madness. I wasn't planning on posting this until lunch time, so you can all thank Katy Dazzledbythe Cullens and ChefJayla for the earlier posting. Katy went on a reading binge last night, reviewing each chapter, those, along with one from ChefJayla, pushed me over 300 reviews for this story that was supposed to only be 15 chapters long. Thanks everyone for all the love for my broken boys.**_

_**SM – yadda yadda yadda – Sexy boys on a road trip to rediscovery—mine.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-seven<strong>

**EPOV**

"It started last fall. You were going into the office when you finished on the floor, rarely making it home before nine o'clock at night. The first few weeks, I let it slide; I could see how exhausted you were and I didn't want to add stress on top of it. It seemed petty, especially given how apologetic you were at the time. October turned into November, and things weren't improving. You forgot about plans we made or would beg me to get us out of them. I still let it go, blaming the run-up to the holidays. Things eased off a bit around the middle of December and I decided it wasn't worth getting into an argument about it, since the problem seemed to have resolved itself."

I paused to take a breath, wishing I'd thought to grab some water from the cooler. Running back to the car was out of the question. I'd sit here until I passed out from dehydration before I'd consider walking away from that table for any reason. Dragging my fingers through my hair, not caring if it looked like a contrived mess, I rested my open palm against the back of my neck. I twisted my palm down into the knotted muscle at the top of my spine, all the while wishing it was Carlisle's long supple fingers digging into the stressed muscles.

"Then you went back to work after New Year's and all the shit started all over again. We were arguing almost incessantly by the end of the month. I wanted you to make the effort to do something together once a week, away from the condo, but you wouldn't listen to me, only complaining about the office being busy, how tired you were, how you just wanted to spend a quiet evening at home. The only problem was –every night had become a quiet evening at home."

Unable to sit still any longer, I pushed myself off the table and began pacing the length of the pavilion. My long legs made short work of the expanse. Two, three, four strides, turn and repeat. I didn't miss Carlisle's death grip on the edge of the table, his knuckles whitened from the exertion. Knowing I was running on borrowed time before he'd stop me, I began talking again. I didn't dare look at him; I'd never be able to continue if I saw the pain I was certain would be in his expression.

"We missed out on two friends becoming engaged, countless birthday parties, and you kept canceling plans we'd made for just the two of us. Hell, we even missed your assistant's surprise thirtieth birthday party. When you wouldn't listen to me, I tried forcing you to notice me by disappearing. I'd go hang out at Garrett and Peter's, deliberately staying late, to see if it spawn any type of a reaction. Instead, I came home to you asleep on the sofa, seemingly not caring where I'd been until two o'clock in the morning. And still I stayed. But Valentine's Day—that was the straw that broke the camel's back."

I stopped pacing when I reached the end of the concrete, staring off into the woods that ran behind the old wooden structure. Bracing myself against the pillar, I fought the tears that remembering that night always brought on. I'd been planning for it since the end of the previous summer. Reservations were made at Everest, followed by a cruise on Lake Michigan. Champagne had been chilled, I had the ring in my pocket. Every detail had been agonized over, with our closest friends assuring me I'd set the perfect stage to ask Carlisle to spend the rest of our lives together.

Until he forgot to show up.

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><p><em><strong>*ducks behind laptop* next update around dinner time for the Eastern United States. <strong>_


	28. Chapter 28

_**All my love to the SotTP and their unfailing support for my many descents into madness. **_

_**Thank you all so much for all the reviews. I've read every one of them, but with having to choose between responding and writing, I figured you wanted the writing. This one's a little longer than most have been- -somehow, I don't think you'll mind.**_

_**I don't own Carlisle or Edward, but they own me. **_

_**Broken by Seether and Whatever it Takes by Lifehouse were on continuous play for this chapter. Listen to them and you'll know why.  
><strong>_

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><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-eight<strong>

**EPOV**

I never heard him move, but I felt his presence behind me. Even after everything that had happened, all the lonely nights before I left and the empty ones that came after, I wanted to lean into him, to let him take some of the stress away just by being there. But I couldn't, not yet. Not until I'd gotten out everything I needed to say—once I found my voice again. _Fucking tears._ I slammed the flat of my hand against the rough hewn timber, needing the pain to pull my thoughts back into focus.

"The night I left, it wasn't a decision made in haste. I kept hoping for the least little sign that you still wanted me in your life, but you were oblivious to what I was going through. Walking out the door was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I knew when I did, I'd be leaving my heart behind. Once the door clicked shut, I waited, fighting the urge to walk back inside." I turned then, finally facing him. The memory of that night had knifed at me ever since, the pain piercing my very soul."I waited for you, Carlisle. I needed you to come after me, to ask me not to leave, to tell me you'd do whatever it took to fix us. For ten minutes I stood in an empty hallway—and you did nothing."

Carlisle's amber eyes brimmed with unshed tears, reflecting back the anguish I'd poured out. He lifted his hand to reach for mine, then let it drop back to his side. Stepping backward, his shoulders slumping under the full significance of everything I'd said, he sunk onto the bench behind him. He looked beaten, as broken as I'd been six months earlier. His mouth opened, but nothing came out. He swallowed reflexively, then cleared his throat to try again.

"I thought your mind was made up, that nothing I did would bring you back. I hadn't realized, until today, how much I'd been pushing you aside. It wasn't ever deliberate. Things were crazy at work. I should have left it all there, but I kept bringing the stress home with me." The words fell from his lips in a rush, like he believed he could somehow use them to bind up the broken pieces. "There's never been one moment, though, that I haven't wanted you in my life. You bring me into balance, smoothing out the rough parts while not letting me take life too seriously." The anguished pleading tore at the frayed edges of my righteous indignation, daring me to refute the gripping honesty he offered. "If I'd had even inkling that you would've still had me, I'd have torn down the doors of Hell to get to you. You have to believe me."

I should have stopped myself then, but some twisted part needed to twist the blade a little deeper.

"I'd planned Valentine's Day down to the last detail. I wanted it perfect, because you deserved perfect. Even after everything that had happened, I still believed that. A part of me still does. I'd known for months that I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life without you and I'd planned to ask you to share every minute with me. Dinner, moonlight, champagne, a ring—all chosen so I could offer you my heart forever, and you never showed up."

Spinning on my heel, I walked away, my steps unsteady while I tried to find the path through the tears I finally let go. My throat burned, already raw from talking, the wracking sobs tearing at it even more. Reaching the shelter of the trees, I collapsed onto a fallen trunk, then brushed my arm across my face. The gnarled wood shifted, Carlisle's arms encircling me, his own tears mingling with mine.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't know. I was so thoughtless." His lips brushed across my cheeks between each word, trying to kiss the tears away. "Sshh. Please, Edward." He knelt in front of me, taking both my hands in his. "Whatever it takes, whatever you need, I'll do it. I know I don't deserve another chance, but if you can find a way to forgive me, I won't let you walk out of my life again."

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><p><em><strong>Well, that was a shit ton to digest. I think I need a couple shots of Jameson's. If you need me, I'll be at the bar. <strong>_


	29. Chapter 29

**_Thank you all so much for all the reviews. _**

**_I had to be an adult, and a parent, today, so I couldn't write and post earlier. There might be another following not too long after, though. The guys have been plaguing me all day. _**

**_I don't own these broken men, but they've stolen my heart. I might let them keep it. _**

**_Same playlist as last chapter. _**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twenty-nine<strong>

**CPOV**

With each word Edward spoke, a little more of me broke. It shouldn't have surprised me, I'd surmised the reasons behind his decision earlier, while he slept. Somehow, though, hearing them spoken aloud made it seem even more callous and unfeeling. His nervous agitation was reflected in his movements. In the three years we'd been together, I'd only ever seen him that worked up one other time—the day he called his parents to tell them he and I were moving in together. He'd asked me not to speak, but when he jumped from the table to begin pacing, I wanted to go to him and promise him whatever he needed to calm him down. When Edward finally paused at the end of the pavilion, I couldn't stay seated a second longer. Walking up behind him, I paused, unsure how any gesture I made would be received.

Then Edward turned, his face a contorted mask, his emerald eyes darkened by the pain of dredging back to the surface all that had happened. I tried to reach for him, to comfort him, but the withdrawn set of his body made me hesitate, re-thinking the choice. Dropping my hand back to my side, I retreated to the bench behind me, all the while wishing the earth would fissure and pull me into the gap. Facing the demons of Hell would've been better than having to see the man I loved, _still love_, become a shell—because of me. Knowing he'd waited for me to come after him while I lay crumpled on the floor in grief devastated me. Both of us had been so certain the other would come, that neither of us took any action. So much wasted time, all because of my damnable pride.

Edward's _joie de vivre _had drawn me to him the night we met. During the three years we lived together, he'd drawn me out of my reclusive existence, teaching me how to live life with calculated abandonment, to embrace every day. Edward has asked very little of me, but when he needed me to step up to the plate, I failed him. Not for the first time, I wished he'd been more adamant about his protests over my actions. Blaming him wasn't going to fix it, though. I needed to own my part. The words left me in a rush, a verbal diarrhea I could do nothing to halt, even if I'd wanted to. I admitted my faults, enumerating them one by one, wanting to assure him I knew I'd fucked up. When he still offered no reaction, I went a step further. I had to make him see, to understand, I'd never wanted him to go, even if my actions spoke to the contrary. Pleading, I begged him to believe the truth.

"There's never been one moment, though, that I haven't wanted you in my life. You bring me into balance, smoothing out the rough parts while not letting me take life too seriously." My voice broke, choking over the emotions I'd hidden from him. "If I'd had even inkling that you would've still had me, I'd have torn down the doors of Hell to get to you. You have to believe me."

For a minute, Edward's mask slipped, letting me see the vulnerable, open man I remembered. Just as quickly, he composed himself, wearing his stoicism like a hair shirt. His next declaration offered hope, while demonstrating in every way how I'd destroyed his dreams for us.

Valentine's Day.

I'd never looked at the calendar, had completely missed the approach of a holiday meant to celebrate the person you wanted to spend your life with. A fatal mistake, one that ended with resounding repercussions. When I finally made it home that night, near eleven o'clock, after spending hours in a teleconference with several foreign accountholders, Edward had been standoffish. Saying only that I'd missed our dinner reservation, he left the room to shower. He never came to bed that night, choosing to sleep in the spare bedroom. I'd thought he was pouting; I never knew everything he'd gone through for that night. By then, I'm sure he didn't consider it worth the effort to try to tell me, either. I'd unconscionably forgotten him, ruining all the plans he'd made—effort he'd taken for me, despite the fact that I'd treated him abominably for months. Edward had intended to offer forever, while I couldn't be bothered to give him one evening.

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><p><strong><em>*fumbles in the cupboard* Where the hell is the rest of my Jameson's? FUCK! I'm gonna go restock the liquor cabinet. While I'm on, let me know what you think.<em>**  
><strong><strong>


	30. Chapter 30

_**Thank you all so much for all the reviews, I'm trying to respond to them when I can, but – I'm pretty sure you'd rather the story.**_

_**I don't own these broken men, but they've stolen my heart. I'm gonna let them keep it. **_

_**I think we all know by now, Carlisle's theme song is Whatever it Takes by Lifehouse.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirty<strong>

**CPOV**

Trying to absorb all that he'd said, I didn't register his abrupt departure. The changing sounds of his footsteps when he moved from concrete to grass had me staring in wild-eyed desperation at his retreating back. _Go after him_! My heart screamed at my feet, willing them to move. I'd let him leave once, I wouldn't do it again. By the time I staggered to my feet, he'd disappeared behind a copse of trees, hiding him from sight. I broke into a run, determined to stop him before he got too far. Rounding the corner, I spotted him on the side of the path, sitting on a dead, fallen tree. Guilt raked hot coals across my heart, searing me with the knowledge of what I'd brought him to.

Tears streamed down his face, his entire body shaking with the force of the emotional deluge that had overcome him. Edward had turned into himself, his arms wrapped around his stomach, leaning over his knees, face buried in his shoulder trying to stifle his sobs. His entire bearing screamed _Broken_, and I bore the blame.

With no regard to his potential reaction, I settled next to him. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I buried my face in his neck, our tears falling together. With my entire body I tried to tell him what a fool I'd been, while over and over I begged him to forgive me. Edward leaned into me, allowing me to offer the support I'd failed to give in the past. Dropping to my knees in front of him, I gingerly pulled his hands into mine, kissing away his tears and offering up the only promise I could make.

"Whatever it takes, whatever you need, I'll do it. I know I don't deserve another chance, but if you can find a way to forgive me, I won't let you walk out of my life again."

Releasing one of his hands, I cupped his cheek, my soul rejoicing when he finally looked into my eyes. I saw no censure, no resignation—only hope.

"You came after me," Edward whispered, his voice incredulous.

"And I always will. I'm a fucking fool, Edward, an inconsiderate ass, and I'd understand if you told me to go pack sand right about now, but I'm praying you won't. Please, can you ever forgive me?"

"I already have. Forgiveness was never the issue, it was trying to forget. I couldn't forget you. No matter where I went or what I did, you were always there."

My reply was lost when Edward's lips claimed mine with tender passion, acceptance in every touch. I shuddered, easing my body against his, desperate to wrap myself up in him. His arms slid around my waist, anchoring me to him, while we rediscovered what we both thought we'd lost. Whispering more apologies between each kiss, I allowed my heart free, returning it back to him—the only place it'd ever really belonged.

When we finally pulled away, I rested my forehead against his, offering one last apology. He stopped me with another brush of his lips.

"It wasn't just your fault, Carlisle. I should have never let it get to the point it did."

"You tried to tell me…" I interjected, only to be cut off.

"No, I complained. I complained about the missed dates, about never going out. I never once thought to sit you down and explain what I needed from you, and I never gave you the opportunity to confide in me about the stress you were under, even though I knew the signs. We both made mistakes; we both paid for our stubbornness."

"And now?" I was almost afraid to push, but I had to know.

"Now, we start over—a little wiser, and a hell of a lot more aware of how easily it is to get off track. When we get back to Chicago, can I come home?"

I hoped the enraptured kiss I offered provided a good enough answer, because words escaped me.

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><p><em><strong>I had to make it better, I ran out of Jameson's.<br>**_


	31. Chapter 31

_**2nd update today. Might be a third, but I can't say for sure. **_

_**Edward and Carlisle don't belong to me, damn the luck, but at least I get to create new worlds for them to play together in. **_

_**In memory of one of the finest voices to ever grace the music industry, At Last by Etta James fueled the chapter. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-One<strong>

**CPOV**

With quiet kisses, tender touches, and murmured promises we allowed ourselves time to absorb all that had happened. I'm not sure how long we spent in our pastoral hiding place, locked away from the intrusions of the outside world. It was only when I noticed the waning sunlight that I realized we needed to leave. Reluctantly, I leaned back, brushing the hair back from his face, before tracing each of his features with the pads of my fingers. His eyes closed, a hum of satisfaction building in his chest. Following the full curve of his bottom lip with my thumb, I stole one final kiss before breaking our reverie.

'We need to go, babe. It's getting dark and I'd like to knock a couple more hours off the drive before we stop for the night."

His eyes fluttered open, red-rimmed but still beautiful. He offered a pout, followed by a wry smile that set fire to the latent passion that simmered inside me. Taking hold of my hands, he stood, helping to pull me to my feet. After kneeling so long, my legs wobbled, throwing me off balance and against him. Bracing himself, he wrapped his arms around my waist, our bodies aligning from chest to hip. The feel of his long, toned body pressed to mine sent my blood racing south. A moan erupted from my throat and I gripped his hips, pulling him against my burgeoning erection while I buried my face in his neck.

"I wanted us to leave now? Why?" My words were muffled against his skin. The throaty chuckle that rumbled in his chest didn't help ease my ardor, either.

"Because you love your grandmother and we are going to make sure she is remembered with all the love she deserves." Setting me away from him, he studied my face. "You look exhausted. Let me drive for a while so you can rest."

My protests were cut short by the yawn I couldn't stifle in time. With another laugh, Edward twined his fingers with mine and tugged me onto the path. We retraced our steps, our hearts lighter than they had been when we first took them. He walked me to the passenger's door, lifting our hands to brush his lips across the back of my fingers, before allowing me to settle in the car. Hurrying around to the driver's side, he got himself situated before accepting the keys I dangled in front of him. Then, reaching for my hand, he settled them on the seat between us.

"Get some sleep," he chided. "The GPS is programmed; it's pretty much all interstate driving for a while. We can talk more, later."

By the time we made it back to the interstate, I was already struggling to keep my eyes open. The low hum of the tires, my emotional exhaustion, and the smooth jazz Edward programmed on his iPod all conspired to lull me into a deep sleep. Dreams of Edward once again moving through our home filled my mind, bringing me a simple peace.

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><p><em><strong>Now that Carlisle's sleeping, I think we need to see how Edward is processing all of this. Yes? No? <strong>_


	32. Chapter 32

_**Well, sleep escaped me most of the night. You, my lovely readers, will reap the rewards of my insomnia. **_

_**Based on the sadly deficient state of my bank account, I can unequivocally state that I do not own these characters. The rest of the convoluted road trip, however, is all mine. **_

_**Tine to hear Edward's side of things.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Two<strong>

**EPOV**

Once he'd fallen asleep, I allowed myself time to reflect over all that had occurred at the park. When I'd walked away, I never intended it to be any type of a test for Carlisle. I'd simply wanted a few minutes alone to compose myself after revealing all that had fueled my decision to leave. It was only once I reached the sanctuary of the trees that I wondered if he'd even notice I left. I didn't have to wonder long when his arms encircled me, holding me while we both worked through our emotions. I'd allowed myself to lean into him, absorbing the warmth I needed after the icy manner in which I'd delivered my parting words.

Even with all the pleas for forgiveness and the promises he made, his actions spoke louder. Carlisle hadn't let me walk away again. While I hadn't meant to say it out loud, I suppose it's a good thing I did. Being able to reassure him freed us both from the months of anguish we'd lived with.

I did forgive him, it'd been impossible not to. I'd wanted to hate him, needed to forget him. When I couldn't do either, I tried to find ways to block his memory from haunting me—if only for a few, brief, soulless moments. Moments I'd have to confess to him, if we were truly going to move forward with a clean slate. Looking over at him sleeping so peacefully beside me, I winced at the thought. Despite the fact that we hadn't been together at the time, Carlisle would be hurt by the way I'd acted.

Unfortunately, we still had a lot of things to clear up. Would he understand why I'd gone off the deep end, so to speak, after I left? There wasn't any way to candy-coat it—I'd nailed every piece of ass I could when I first left. It had all been empty and become old quickly, but it still didn't excuse my behavior.

How could I know his work wouldn't become an issue again? And, would he listen this time when I tried to say something? _Have faith_. I couldn't allow doubts to cloud our new beginning. We'd resolve it like we should have in the past—together.

Trying not to dwell on the potential pitfalls of our reunion, I indulged myself in plans for moving back to the condo. Besides missing Carlisle, I'd missed _our_ space. We'd picked out every aspect together, from the paint to the décor to the furnishings. It had been wholly ours. When I'd been over there earlier in the week, Id taken a perverse pleasure in noting he hadn't changed a thing since I left, either. He'd been just as unable to escape my memory as I'd been to escape him.

Moving home would be seamless, a transition I couldn't wait to make. My apartment had been a means to an end. It had given me someplace to sleep, to store my shit, but it hadn't been home. I'd come to realize, though, a home isn't tangible. Home truly is where the heart resides, and mine had never left the condo I'd shared with Carlisle.

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><p>'<em><strong>Kay, everyone all together now- "aaaaawwwwwww" He's so damn adorable. <strong>_


	33. Chapter 33

_**Yeah, still losing ground on the review replies. I do read each and every one of them, and my PMs, too, so if you have a question, feel free to ask. So long as it doesn't spoil the storyline, I'll do my best to answer it. **_

_**The characters aren't mine, but the scenarios they exist in are. **_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Three<strong>

**EPOV**

After the first hour or so of driving, I engaged the cruise control and settled back into the seat. A low hanging full moon illuminated the gloaming darkness, its luminescence refracted back in the river that meandered amongst the trees we sped past. Carlisle hadn't said how much further he wanted to drive before stopping for the night, but I decided to keep going until he woke up from his nap. While he'd drifted off almost immediately, I didn't expect him to be out more than a few hours.

Given the events of the day, I seriously doubted we'd be checking into separate rooms once we reached the hotel. While my body responded to the idea, I didn't want to make the mistake of falling into bed and ignoring the issues that still existed between us. And the bedroom had never been an area where we weren't on the same page. Flickering images from the night before played through my mind, reminding me of just how in sync we'd always been. We'd both remembered where and how to touch in a way guaranteed to bring us pleasure.

Recalling Carlisle's uncharacteristic aggressiveness the night before had me stifling a moan, while my cock throbbed in agreement. Between the scene in the parking lot at the restaurant and the one at the park, my body was already on high alert. The memory of his hips pulled against mine, the remembered feel of his arousal rubbing over mine, was all it took to have me squirming in my seat. Anything else to find relief would require letting go of Carlisle's hand, a move I worried might wake him up.

Unable to fight the inevitable, I gave into the temptation of contemplating what lay in store at the hotel. Thank the fuck I'd decided to grab the items from the gift basket. Shaking my head at the thought of the ridiculously overt packaging, I seriously considered finding an all-night drugstore. Then, with a smirk, I dismissed the idea. If it hadn't been for that stupid basket and all that had happened with regards to its delivery, Carlisle and I might not have been forced into dealing with our shit. Nope, long after it was empty, I'd hang onto the bottle as a reminder of how we'd reconciled when it seemed impossible.

The miles passed quickly, the digital odometer ticking them away while my anticipation grew with each increasing number. Attuned to the man next to me, even when I wasn't stealing surreptitious looks at him, I sensed when the lulling effects of his exhaustion and the movement of the car began to wane. The tightening of his hand around mine, followed by the calculated brush of his fingers across the sensitive skin of my palm confirmed my suspicions.

"No playing possum," I teased in a low voice.

"Mmhhm, I'm not, just enjoying the feel of your hand in mine, and knowing it's not a dream," he replied, turning his head to look at me.

Taking my glance from the road for a second, I smiled at him. "How'd you sleep?"

"Better than I expected,' he yawned, dragging extra oxygen in to revive his muddled thoughts. "Was I out long?"

Flicking my eyes to the clock, I realized almost three hours had elapsed since we'd gotten back on the road. Before I could reply, he released my hand, then leaned across the seat to place a kiss under my jaw. He balanced himself with his hand on my thigh, his fingers dancing dangerously close to the erection I'd only just managed to subside.

"It's getting late," he murmured against my skin. "We should find a hotel soon." He dragged his tongue across the scruff on my jaw. "Wouldn't you agree?" he asked, his breath teasing my ear before he caught the lobe between his teeth.

Fuck! I'd agree to pay the National Debt if it ensured he wouldn't stop.

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><p><em><strong>Oh but Edward, I can stop him—at least until the next update. <strong>_


	34. Chapter 34

_**Crazy day yesterday, and FUCK that Giants' game was AWESOME! I can't wait to watch the Super Bowl rematch in two weeks.**_

_**SM still owns them, but I manipulate them—seems like a fair trade. **_

_**For rathbonejunkie, this should explain "inconsequential." **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Four<strong>

**EPOV**

A savage groan rumbled through my chest, my hand tightening around the steering wheel while I reached to still the hand that worked down my zipper.

"Baby, I'm gonna wreck your car if you don't stop," I warned, my tone lacking conviction.

"Then maybe we need to find someplace to pull over."

Shivering, my dick now at full mast and wanting in on the party, I rolled my hips into his hand that had snaked inside my cargo shorts. I groaned, trying to keep control of the car when he measured off the length of my shaft, his thumb flicking over the damp spot on my boxer briefs.

"Carlisle…I…fuck…babe, we gotta…" coherent thought escaped me while I struggled to regain my focus.

While his fingers danced over my shaft, each touch calculated to keep me teetering on the edge; his mouth continued to torment my neck with teasing nips followed by suckling bites, leaving me breathless. I didn't even care that my skin would probably be marked in the morning. Unable to resist the delicious agony of his touch, I pressed my hand down over top of his, seeking any sort of relief. He arched his hand up under mine to push it away, leaving only the tips of his fingers circled around the fabric-covered head.

"Keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel; I've got everything under control," Carlisle breathed in my ear, his tongue wreaking havoc on my ear while his other hand ghosted over my bicep, the muscle bunching from the grip I had on the steering wheel.

Reluctantly removing my hand from over his, I returned it to the wheel, my breath escaping me in a ragged rush when his fingers worked through the flap of my briefs. Easing out just the head of my leaking cock, he stroked his thumb across it, smearing the moisture around the throbbing tip. His other hand slid under my arm, then across my chest, pulling on my nipple that pebbled under his touch.

"Car—lisle," I growled through gritted teeth, my jaw clenched so tight I thought it would shatter.

Ignoring me, his lips returned to the corded muscles of my neck, every searing swipe of his touch pushing me closer to the precipice. Sweat beaded on my forehead from the strain of maintaining my focus on the road. Carlisle's agile fingers and thumb twisted and swiped, tightened and released, pressing and pulling on just the sensitive skin of my head. Grateful for the cruise control, I let my knees fall further open my toes curling into the floorboard, knowing I needed to find someplace to stop—immediately. The extended teasing had every muscle in my body screaming for release.

Spying a turn-off for a rest area, I pulled off into the darkened parking lot and jammed my foot down on the brake pedal, not a minute too soon. Carlisle's mouth and hands were everywhere at once. Biting my jaw, he flicked a finger across my nipple, and twisted once more around my shaft, pressing his fingertips into the frenulum. My head fell back, my hips thrust up and stars exploded behind my eyes as my orgasm ripped through me.

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><p><em><strong>Readingmama – not quite the road head you were looking for, but will this suffice? <strong>_


	35. Chapter 35

_**Sorry for the missed update yesterday. I burnt the living hell out of my finger, right alongside the knuckle, and it made typing an abject bitch. I hope you got to check out "Will You Drive My Sleigh Tonight?" my Toys4Tots compilation piece. It's full of Christmas innuendo and sexy fluff. **_

_**As always, this isn't beta'd, so all the fuck up are mine, I freely own them. What I don't own, though, are the sexy men traipsing through my storyline. SM does and I envy her. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Five<strong>

**EPOV**

Ragged breathing filled the interior of the car, drowning out the music still pouring from the speakers. My hand had wrapped around the handle over the door, the other digging into Carlisle's thigh. He'd cupped his hand over my spurting cock, collecting most of my ejaculate while still applying steady pressure to ensure I emptied my load. His breath washed across my cheek, words I couldn't hear over the roaring in my head falling from his lips. Stroking back up my chest, he cupped my neck, pulling me down to meet his lips in a soul-searing kiss.

"Feel better, baby?" he whispered, his lips still resting against mine. "Relax; I put the car in park."

That was all the permission I needed. Releasing my seatbelt and twisting in one movement, I pinned him against the passenger's side door, ignoring the gear shift jabbing into my hip. His head fell back in invitation, the long column of his throat begging for my lips. I complied, sucking the skin at the juncture of his shoulder between my teeth. The salty musky taste of his skin fueled my passion, my mouth tracing every inch of his throat before finding his hardened nipple through the textured cotton of his polo shirt. The angled thrust of his hips knocked me off balance, slamming my knee into the steering column. Wincing at the pain, I eased away, resting my forehead on his chest, my words coming out in breathy gasps.

"Carlisle, I love your car, don't get me wrong, but it's so not designed for roadside sexcapades."

My body rocked against him when he released a hearty laugh, the gear shift digging into my hipbone again. Reluctantly I sat up, in time to see him lift his cum-covered hand and swipe his tongue from palm to fingertip. Groaning, my dick stirred again at the thoroughly erotic sight. I swallowed convulsively, my eyes closing, while I begged for mercy.

"Enough, please. It's already taking everything I have not to pull you out of the car and fuck you on the hood." His breath hitched and I smirked. "However, the possibility of getting caught and arrested is the only thing saving your ass." Leaning across him, I opened the glove box to find some napkins to clean myself up, shivering when he bit the sensitive skin below my ear. "Babe," I growled, "I will fuck you senseless the minute we get to the hotel, but for now, you have—"

He slid his tongue into my ear, breaking my chain of thought. Leaning away, he removed the napkins from my lax hand, making short work of cleaning up the mess he created. With a final stroke across my once again turgid shaft, he tucked me away, and then re-zipped my shorts.

"Why don't you stop telling me what you're going to do, and get to the hotel so you can show me?" His teasing fingers punctuated his words.

Dragging in a deep breath through my nose, I closed my eyes and willed myself to focus. Then, shifting the car into drive, I found the exit and pulled back onto the highway. We still had five days before we headed back to Chicago, plenty of time to deal with the other shit. Until then, I needed Carlisle twenty ways to Sunday, and I planned to take advantage of every minute I had at my disposal. Scouring road signs, I searched for the first available, big chain hotel. When I drilled my man into the mattress, fucking him senseless, I wanted to make sure he had decent pillows under his ass.

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><p><em><strong>Yeah, Carlisle's stunt with his hand and tongue—smoked two cigarettes writing that. These men are going to kill me yet. <strong>_


	36. Chapter 36

**_I managed to reply to EVERY review from last chapter! *ignores the huge stack still left untended to*  
><em>**

**_As always, this isn't beta'd, so all the fuck up are mine, I freely own them. What I don't own, though, are the sexy men traipsing through my storyline. SM does and I envy her. _**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Six<strong>

**EPOV**

Three more exits down the interstate, I found what I was looking for. Following the road signs, I pulled into the parking lot of a Sheraton. Carlisle was out of the car and waiting by the trunk before I turned off the engine. Stepping out of the car, I popped the trunk with the remote, while I tugged the hem of my shirt down to cover the questionable stain on my shorts. Carlisle joined me at the driver's side, both bags in his hand already. Tangling the fingers of his free hand in mine, he wrapped my arm around behind my back to pull me closer.

Pressed against him, our noses touching and eyes level, I saw nothing but love in his eyes. All-encompassing, consuming love. For me. Tilting his head, Carlisle captured my lips in a tender kiss, only deepening it when I slumped against him. Need took over, a blinding demand to get him naked and sweaty, the sooner the better. Pulling his bottom lip between my teeth, I nipped then soothed the skin with my moist tongue. He leaned into me, his barely concealed erection pressing into my groin, his moan muffled by our tangled tongues. My fingers twisted in the fabric at his waist, holding him flush against me.

"Get a room!" Our interlude was broken by a guest exiting the hotel.

"Excellent suggestion, I couldn't agree more," Carlisle replied, while I buried my flaming face in the crook of his neck.

We hadn't been this unrestrained since—forever. While neither of us had an issue with holding in hands or even sharing the occasional kiss in public, we'd never opted to be flamboyant about our relationship. The talking earlier had flipped a switch, one I didn't want to flip back anytime soon, if ever. Reluctantly, I let him step back, but kept our fingers interlocked when we entered the lobby.

The desk clerk, a pretty young girl in her early twenties, was busy checking in another guest, so we waited patiently a few feet away. Carlisle released my hand, ghosting his up my back until he reached my neck. Leaning into him, I savored the feel of his lithe fingers kneading the aching muscles.

"Mmmhhhmm, that feels nice," I hummed. "I can't wait to get you to our room and let you use those talented fingers elsewhere."

He chuckled low, nuzzling the side of my neck. "What, the demonstration in the car wasn't enough?"

My eyes opened, emerald meeting amber, electricity crackling between us. "Every day would never be enough," I murmured, offering another heart-felt kiss.

The delicate sound of a woman clearing her throat interrupted us.

"We really need a room," I whispered, smirking against Carlisle's mouth. His answering smile sent warmth cascading through me, curling my toes, then settling in the pit of my stomach.

Turning my attention to the clerk, I tugged him forward with me, while trying not to laugh at the dreamy expression on her face. Her muttered, "It's always the cute ones," carried across the empty lobby, causing Carlisle to duck his head to hide his mirth.

"Welcome to the Sheraton. How long will you be staying with us?" She plastered on a fake smile, her fingers already flying over the keyboard.

"Just one night please, and do you have any suites available?" he answered, pinching my arm when I started to protest. Leaning toward my ear, he whispered, "Just giving you more available surfaces to work with."

My nostrils flared, my eyes widening at the innuendo. Unable to breathe from the heat radiating from his lust-filled words, I looked away, my glance alighting on a small convenience store tucked into the opposite corner, near the elevators. Bumping Carlisle's shoulder with mine, I told him I'd be right back, then walked across the lobby.

Only a few small racks lined the walls of the little room, but I managed to find everything I needed, along with an armful of junk food. By the time I'd finished checking out; Carlisle had crossed the room to join me.

"What's in the bag?" He nodded toward the plastic sack knotted in my hand.

"Just some stuff, snacks for later if we get hungry," I offered, my answer deliberately vague.

After several futile attempts to peek in the bag on the elevator ride, Carlisle gave up, opting to pin me against the wall and kiss me into a stupor. When the elevator chimed, I followed him down the hall to our room. Stepping inside, I dropped the bag on the table in the small sitting area before walking over to the sliding door that divided off the sleeping area. Behind it I found a California King bed, illuminated by the moonlight flowing in through the opened curtains. I turned when I heard Carlisle call my name.

"Edward? Why the hell would you buy a can of Easy Cheese and not get a pack of crackers?" He looked up from the assortment of stuff he'd dumped out of the bag to find me leaning against the doorway. His eyebrow lifted in a questioning slant, an amused smile on his lips. "I can run back down and get some, if you're that hungry."

I took my time making a languid perusal of his body, taking in every delectable inch. Finally reaching his face, I met his puzzled gaze.

"Oh, I'm that hungry, but I had a much better idea of what to eat it off of."

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><p><strong><em>For the non-Americans: Easy Cheese is a canned cheese with a nozzle on it, similar to those on canned whipped cream.<em> **

**_Got it? Good. _**


	37. Chapter 37

**_As always, this isn't beta'd, so all the fuck ups are mine, I freely own them. SM owns their names, but I'm the one that encouraged them to play with their food. _**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Seven<strong>

Shoving myself off the doorframe, I walked toward him with slow calculated steps, never breaking eye contact. His mouth hung slightly open, a faint blush tingeing his cheeks, while he surreptitiously palmed his crotch. Grabbing the hem of my shirt, I tugged it over my head, tossing it toward a chair in the corner. Carlisle recovered himself, twisting the can of cheese in his hands.

"Easy Cheese? Really?" He looked stern, but I didn't miss the twitch at the corner of his mouth. "That's the best you could come up with?"

"Sorry babe, they didn't carry chocolate sauce or whipped cream. Hell, I even looked for maple syrup." Reaching his side, I backed him against the table, my lips teasing across the bruise I'd left on his neck earlier. "C'mon, Car, it'll be fun," I wheedled, my hands pushing his shirt up, giving me access to the flat, caramel colored nipples.

Flattening my tongue, I dragged it across his skin, reveling in his shiver and the pebbling response. I latched on to the hardened bud, licking and sucking, while pinching the other one to attention. Leaning forward, I rested my hand on the table, bending him backwards over it. Carlisle moaned, his fingers tangling in my hair to hold me in place.

"God, Edward! Your mouth… fuck!" he moaned, arching into me.

Lifting my head, I peered up at him and winked, before pulling the other nipple into my mouth. Carlisle lost his balance, banging into the table while he tried to brace himself against its surface. The rest of the contents of the bag scattered in the wake of his scrabbling hands. Something hit my knuckle and I paused to peek over his shoulder to see what it was. The box of condoms. The reason for the purchase flooded my mind, quelling the urgency that had consumed me seconds before. Closing my eyes, I took a step back, resting my head against his chest. I needed to tell him the truth, before things went too far. His breathing stilled, his body shifting as he pushed himself, then I felt his arm twine around my waist.

"What's wrong? I thought we resolved everything earlier." His mouth moved against my ear while his hand traced soothing circles on my back.

Keeping my head down, still wrapped in his embrace, I walked backwards, dropping into the arm chair when I felt it against the back of my knees. I pulled Carlisle down with me, settling him on my lap, before I met his concerned gaze. My fingers glided across the worried lines on his brow, smoothing them, before I addressed is fears.

"We did, babe. Or at least, the reasons why everything happened. We're good, or at least I hope we are when I finish." I took a deep breath, then plunged into my confession. "Car, when I left, I was convinced we were through. I moped around the apartment for a couple weeks, turning down invitations to hang out with my friends and generally being miserable. Then, Seth and Garrett guilted me into joining them one night, using the argument that I hadn't celebrated their engagement with them yet."

When I felt his body tense up, I knew he'd figured out where the conversation was going. To spare him the pain, I glossed over the details. "While I knew we were both clean, I swear I didn't take any chances. I used protection. Even still, I'm not going to risk anything happening to you now that I have you back—if I still have you back." I cupped his cheek, hating the fact that I'd hurt him, again.

He drew in a ragged breath before answering. "I knew. We still have friends in common, and people talked about seeing you out, the guys you left with. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt. It still hurts. You're right, though, we weren't together. You were free to be with whoever you wanted."

"I _wanted_ it to be you, but I thought that wasn't an option."

He reached up to take my hand off his cheek, kissing my palm before placing it on his chest.

"People deal with things differently. I threw myself into work, hoping to collapse in an exhausted stupor every night." He brushed my hair back off my face, staring intently at me. "It didn't work, but I did get a promotion out of it. Bigger office, better hours, a helluva lot more money. The only drawback to my newfound largess? The person I wanted to share it all with was gone." He paused, his fingers knotting in the hair at my nape. "It doesn't matter. The important thing is that we're together now. Clean slate, remember?"

I met him halfway when he leaned toward me, our mouths seeking each other with needy passion. Fisting my hand in his waistband, I helped him reposition himself until he straddled my lap. Pushing down on the arms of the chair, he lifted his body over mine, our mutual erections pressing together. Rotating his hips, he soon had us both gasping for more.

"Now, what exactly were your plans for the Easy Cheese?" His eyes twinkled with devilish intent, eyebrows lifted while he waited for my response.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and struggled to my feet. Rather than forcing me to attempt to carry him, he dropped his feet to the floor. Picking the can up off the table, I backpedaled to the bedroom door, crooking my finger in his direction.

"Oh, I think it'd be much more effective if I gave you a demonstration."

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><p><strong><em>PHEW last big talk out of the way. Should be smooth sailing from here on out, right? <em>**


	38. Chapter 38

_**As always, this isn't beta'd, so all the fuck up are mine, and mine alone. SM—yadda yadda yadda. Their confessions, banter, and innuendo are all mine. **_

_**Review fail yesterday while I tried to get my Blackberry turned back on. SUCCESS! I'll try to be a better replier this chapter, but make no promises, since Carlisle suddenly got very chatty. I'm sure you'd rather read what they're up to, than see a little thank you note- SO here's your thank you- -to all who read and review- -thank you - from the bottom of my Jersey Girl heart.  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Eight<strong>

**CPOV**

Left speechless by Edward's smirk after revealing his intentions for the Easy Cheese, I enjoyed the slow methodical manner in which he stalked toward me. Peeling his shirt up over his sculpted abs, he shook his head free of the neckline, tossing it toward one of the armchairs that occupied the sitting area. I couldn't miss the cajoling tone in his voice, though the words were lost when his lips trailed across my shoulder, the skin still tender from his earlier bite. By the time the moist heat of his mouth surrounded my nipple, I didn't give a fuck what he did with the cheese if it meant his mouth and tongue continued to explore my heated flesh.

Arching into him when he bent me over the table, I lost my balance, my hands scattering his bag of goodies while I struggled not to fall on my ass. Edward paused, peering over my shoulder, then pulled away, dropping his head into the middle of my chest. Confused, I twined my arm around his waist, hoping he'd look at me when I asked what was wrong. Instead of answering, he drew me onto his lap, his pained expression worrying me even more. His reticence didn't prepare me for his confession.

I'd known about Edward's extra-curricular activities after he moved out. Garrett and I worked together at the brokerage firm, and his partner Seth was one of Edward's closest friends. He'd gone to great lengths to ensure I knew Edward had moved on. Only after having faced the reality of why Edward left, did I understood why Seth had held so much animosity toward me. Seth felt compelled to protect his friend; getting in a few digs at me didn't hurt, either.

To say his other exploits hadn't bothered me would've been a lie. Up until I found about Edward's new "friends", a part of me still held out hope that he'd come back home soon. Instead, the few intact pieces of my heart had shattered with the knowledge that I'd been replaced. I'd never understood how he'd moved on so easily after three years. Now I knew he hadn't. He'd used sex the same way I'd used work—a stopgap to fill the holes left in our lives by our break-up. Getting mad would solve nothing, though. Edward had said we needed a clean slate to start over; I knew he was right. Dwelling on what happened would never change it, but going forward, I could ensure he'd never need to make the same choices again.

I let him talk, then confessed my prior knowledge, revealing the hurt I'd experienced when I found out. Brushing his hair away from his eyes so I could look into them, I reassured him that it didn't matter. It was easier than I thought to let it all go. I had him back, it was all that mattered. Tangling my fingers in the copper curls that teased his neck, I reminded him of his own words.

"It doesn't matter. The important thing is that we're together now. Clean slate, remember?"

Leaning forward, I paused, waiting to see if he'd accept my simple reassurance. Edward's green eyes brightened, the darkening worry washed away by my quiet acceptance. The past was forgotten when our lips met, the tender kiss building quickly into a fiery conflagration of want. Relinquishing myself to the tug of his hand, I repositioned my body, my legs straddling his hips in the wide, cheerily-striped armchair. Using the back for leverage, I pressed into Edward, grinding my aching cock into his. Our mouths came together over and over, his hands exploring the planes of my back, fingers trailing down my spine to grip my hips and pull me closer. Gasping for air, I released his mouth, determined to get back to the matter at hand.

"Now, what exactly were your plans for the Easy Cheese?" My eyebrow lifted, anticipation dripping from every syllable.

Instead of answering, Edward wrapped his arms around me, his thighs flexing under mine when he pushed to his feet. I slid my body down the length of his, bereft when he stepped away. Picking up the can from the table, he walked backward toward the door, beckoning me to join him.

"Oh, I think it'd be much more effective if I gave you a demonstration," Edward teased, opening the can and squirting a line of cheese along his finger.

Mesmerized, I followed the progress of his hand to his mouth. His tongue swirled around his finger with tantalizing strokes, before he slowly pushed the coated digit between his lips. His gaze burned hot on my face when I moaned at the sight of his finger smoothly gliding between his wet, red lips; lips I wanted wrapped around the erection straining against my zipper. Groping around behind me, unable to look away, I found the box of condoms. Tossing them at him to give myself a reprieve from his lustful machinations, I strode across the room.

"I have a much larger, more appreciative appendage you can put in that hot mouth," I offered, skimming my hand across his stomach, before palming his crotch when I walked past him into the bedroom.

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><p><em><strong>Sounds like an invitation to me. <strong>_


	39. Chapter 39

_**K so, yeah, I suck—no updates for a couple of days. I promise though, it was for a REALLY good reason. My first book was released on Tuesday, and I was tied up in finalizing the details. If you don't have a problem with het and want more details PM me. Otherwise, I try to keep the two sides of my writing personas separate. **_

_**So, where were we? Oh, that's right SM owns blah blah blah, the rest is mine. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirty-Nine<strong>

**CPOV**

I yelped, caught unaware, when Edward's hand connected with my ass. Whirling on him, my ire melted with the mischievous glint in his eye. He laughed at my sudden reaction, pulling me to him, his free hand gliding down to sooth across the stinging cheek.

"Did that hurt, baby? You need me to kiss it and make it all better?"

The husky whisper shot straight to my already raging hard-on. After getting Edward off in the car, the teasing in the other room, and his stunt with the Easy Cheese, I couldn't wait any longer. Taking the things out of his other hand, I threw them on the bed, concerned only with getting my boy naked and horizontal. Taking both his wrists, I pushed them behind his back, catching them in one of my hands. Edward's breath caught, his eyes darkening from emerald to forest to onyx, his nostrils flaring while he waited for my next move.

Pressing into him, I traced my nose along the length of his neck, pulling his head back with my free hand to tease the underside of his jaw. He didn't fight me, acquiescent to my every whim, and leaving me trembling at his easy surrender. I rarely took control during sex, but I needed him too much to play games right now. The throaty moan that escaped him when my tongue circled his dusky nipple proved my undoing.

I released my hold on Edward's hair, dragged my blunt nails down the expanse of his chest, frantically struggling with the button on his shorts when I reached them. Shoving them, along with his boxer briefs, past the curve of his ass, I teased a finger across the sensitive skin at the top of his crack. The answering thrust of his hips spurred me on. Letting go of his hands, I pushed him backwards onto the bed, yanking his clothes off the rest of the way when he hit the mattress.

Edward balanced his upper body on his elbows, his gaze heating my blood to the boiling point. I feverishly fought to strip out of my own clothes, wanting nothing more than to join him. I kicked off my pants, grabbing his ankle to pull his ass closer to the bottom of the bed. My hands ghosted across his lightly furred calves, before digging into the flexed muscles of his quadriceps. Pressing his legs open, I feasted on the bounty spread before me.

Edward's cock twitched under my sensual perusal, beads of moisture drenching the dark trail of hair on his abdomen. Resting my knee between his legs, I leaned over him, painting a wide stripe with my tongue up the underside of his shaft, before sucking just the tip between my lips. His sudden intake of breath encouraged me further, and I pressed further, taking him deep into my throat until my nose nestled against the thatch of dark copper curls. Swallowing around him, I hollowed my cheeks and eased back, my bottom teeth grazing against the thick vein that ran the length of his tumescent shaft. Edward bucked his hips, one hand scrabbling for purchase on the sheets while the other fisted in my hair. The quiet room filled with his keening moans, a melody I once thought I'd never hear again.

Releasing him with a solid pop, I slid my hands under his thighs, pressing them back to his chest and lifting his ass higher in the air. He let go of my hair and one of the pillows plopped down next to his hip on the bed. I looked up, offering him an eyebrow-lifting smirk, before folding the pillow in half and positioning it at the base of his spine. Once he was settled back in place, I went for broke.

I laved my tongue across the sac hanging below his velvety shaft, then wrapped my mouth around one of the heavy globes. With tender care, I sucked and swirled my tongue around it, then let go and lavished the same attention on its counterpart. Pressing him further back, I bit the left cheek of his ass, trying not to laugh at his wounded yelp. Soothing the reddened mark with a kiss, I then dragged my tongue across to the furled skin of his tight ass. His musky scent and taste flooded my senses, while his moans turned to whimpers provided the soundtrack to our lovemaking.

"Fuuuuuuuck! Car—I—I—need you. Please, babe," he cried when the tip of my tongue breached him.

Impervious to his pleas, I worked my tongue in and out of him, coating his opening in saliva, preparing him for my aching cock that bobbed against my stomach. Edward's head thrashed across the pillow; his just-fucked bronzed mess of hair plastering to his sweat-slicked forehead. When he reached for his cock, I pushed his hand away and lifted my head, continuing to massage his hole with my fingers.

"The only hand that's touching your dick is mine, you understand?"

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><p><em><strong>Oops! That almost got away from me! Damn. Yeah, yeah, I know-I'm evil. Tell me about it in the reviews, while I write the rest. <strong>_


	40. Chapter 40

_**I swear y'all are all kinds of effing awesomesauce! I'm at 500 reviews on this little bit of insanity, and I have all y'all to thank for it. *big smooshy hugs* Yeah, I know, you don't care about me and my sentimental sap. You just want the boy secks.  
><strong>_

_**This Chapter is NSFW—in case harrytwifan IGNORES my email warning her, its posted again here. Read at your own risk. *passes out shamwows* Everyone settled? Good. **_

_**Without further ado… **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Forty<strong>

**CPOV**

I waited, his reply coming in violent, wordless nods. Unable to bring himself any relief, he tangled his fingers in his hair, the fierce tugging causing his back to arch off the bed. Or maybe it was my index finger sliding inside him to rub against his prostate. Either way, his reckless abandon struck me like a jolt of electricity. I needed to be buried in him.

Now.

Grabbing the box of condoms, I fumbled to open them with one hand, having no success. Bringing it to my mouth, I grabbed the corner with my teeth and tore, the foil strips springing loose like Snakes in a Can. I snatched a strip off the bed, while sliding a second finger in to join the first. Panting, Edward lifted his ass, rolling his hips to meet my thrusts, while I liberated one packet from the strip. I used my teeth again to tear open the packet, rolling it down my slick cock, then flicking open the lube with my thumb, I drizzled a liberal amount over me, then Edward's ass. My fingers scissored inside him, deliberately missing the one place he wanted them to touch most. A litany of cuss words fell from his lips, interspersed with strangled pleading.

"Tell me what you want, baby," I demanded, stroking myself while I prepped him. I watched his eyes roll back in his head, his mouth opening and closing, unable to form a coherent thought. Removing my thrusting fingers, I slid my shaft along his crack. "Is this what you want? Do you want my dick? Talk to me, Edward."

"Yes, Car, I want you! It's always been you!" Edward struggled up to his elbows, his eyes fevered; his skin flushed a deep rosy pink and covered in sweat.

Without answering, I pull back; grabbing Edward's hips and lifting them to push him further up the bed. He braced himself against my thigh to help shift his weight, dragging the pillow up with us. Repositioning him just below the headboard, I resumed gliding through his crack, the head of my cock teasing over the tight opening, but pulling back every time Edward pressed down against me. "Please… just… fucking hell!" He shouted, collapsing back to the bed when I slid the first inch into his hot, tight sheath.

I lifted Edward's foot from where he'd braced it against my thigh, bringing his calf to rest on my shoulder. Pressing a trail of kisses across the flexed muscle, I closed my eyes, trying to ground myself before I came too soon from the exquisite sensation of him tightening around me. My entire body shook, desperate to sink balls deep into him. Fighting the temptation, I rolled my hips, giving him another inch. The deep guttural groans escaping his throat dissolved my restraint. Leaning back, I rested my ass against my heels, sliding out until only the tip of my shaft remained inside him. Then, in one fluid motion, my thighs flexed and I lifted up, burying myself to the hilt. Edward threw his head back, the muscles in his neck cording, while he opened to my thrust.

"Son of a bitch!" I paused, wincing when he punched the mattress, afraid I'd hurt him. "Move, babe. For the love of all that's holy, fucking move!" The words hissed through his gritted teeth.

He didn't have to ask a second time. Holding his legs, I pulled back, then snapped my hips forward, my balls slapping against his ass. Over and over, I pushed into him, our sweat covered skin sliding against each other. Edward wrapped his legs around me, pulling me forward to collapse on his chest. Pushing up on my toes, our mouths collided, his hands sliding when he tried to grab hold of me. Reaching over our heads, I grabbed the headboard, planting my foot on the bed for leverage, and the thin leash I've had on my control snapped.

Grunting, I used the resistance from the headboard to sink deeper into him. Our hips rolled in unison; panting moans, slapping skin, and the rhythmic pounding of the bed on the wall filled the air, underscored with mumbled words that vaguely resemble 'I love you" and 'I'm sorry."

I'd wanted to take things slow, to tantalize and tease him, to languidly explore every inch of him. But, barring the night before, it'd been too long and I couldn't hold back. I needed to possess him, to own him, just like he'd owned me, body and soul, since we first met.

The familiar rush and low, twisting coil warned me of my coming orgasm. Edward's cock bounced against his stomach, the head an angry purple, his body desperate for release. Shifting the angle of my hips, I leaned over to pull him up to straddle my thighs, trapping his throbbing cock between our rutting bodies. Beads of sweat ran down our faces, our breathing ragged. Wrapping my arm around his waist to help him stay upright, I fisted his cock with my other hand. One gliding stroke was all it took. Edward stiffened, his head lolled back, and a soundless scream shook his body while thick ribbons of come coated our torsos and my hand. The pulsing clench of his hot tunnel pulled me over with him and I collapsed against his body, driving us both back to the bed, while I shuddered through my own release.

"IloveyousofuckingmuchI'lldowhateverittakespleasedon'tleavemeagain" The words spilled from me in an incoherent jumble, tears pouring down my face at the same time.

Edward understood every word, and pulled me close, his hands and lips offering the reassurance I needed. "Never, babe, never again."

* * *

><p><em><strong>*passes out ice and fans* DAMN I need a cigarette and a nap—Dantelover, you still with me doll? Did you have enough whiskey? Need an extra smoke? <strong>_

_** Looks like Carlisle had a bit of a moment there at the end. Think he's a smidge overwhelmed? **_


	41. Chapter 41

_**Yeah, I know, I disappeared. It was a busy week. I'm back and trying to get on track and forget about some of the fuckery that abounds outside my little Edward/Carlisle bubble. **_

_**Stull unbeta'd, still not my character. The love- ahhh yeah, that's mine. **_

_**SONG LIST-**_

_**As Much as I Ever Could -City & Colour**_

_**Til the End of Time - Timothy Bloom **_

_**Soon As I Get Home - Faith Evans**_

_**Make you Feel My Love & Lovesong -Adele**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Forty-One<strong>

**EPOV**

Animalistic. Primal. Carlisle claimed my body as surely as if he were marking territory. I'm not even sure it had been a conscious decision. Although he'd said that my errant behavior while we were apart didn't matter, I knew it had hurt him on a deeper level. Never once, in the three years we'd been together, had he ever displayed such wanton, dominating behavior. Without a second of hesitation I'd relinquished control, knowing that at that moment, he needed me to. It had been exhilarating, freeing, to allow him to set the pace. Carlisle's emotional outburst only served to underscore the desperate, overwhelming sense of loss our separation had caused him. Having lived the same pain, I understood his need for reassurance. When it appeared my words weren't enough, I showed him.

Easing him off my chest, I settled his body next to me, then removed the used condom from his still turgid cock, discarding it in the trash can next to the bed. I stretched out next to him, releasing a contented sigh when his legs tangled around mine to anchor us together. Lifting my hand, I tenderly swiped away the tears that still hovered on his lashes, mesmerized by the play of emotions in his eyes, before the lids covered them. I cradled his head in the palm of my hand, easing him close enough to brush my lips across the tracks left behind by his salty tears. With tentative, affirming touches, I explored his body, rediscovering the hidden places that brought him the greatest pleasure. Our mouths met time and again; deep languid kisses that offered more than fulfillment; they made promises for our tomorrows.

The smoldering embers of desire were slowly rekindled; each touch, each kiss adding fuel to a passion that had never died, only languished under months of neglect. Ragged breathing, punctuated by deep, sighing moans filled the room, the occasional whimper adding to the building symphony. Pressing Carlisle back, I hovered over his supine form, the teasing trail of my tongue along his shoulder causing him to quiver under me. His furtive hands were everywhere at once. Supple fingers traced the definition of my spine, before pausing to grip my hips when I tried to ease my way down his body. My breath warmed the shell of his ear when I leaned in to whisper my intentions.

"Let me love you, babe. Let me remind you how good we are together."

Carlisle's fingers tightened, then released, allowing me unfettered access to his body. Gliding over the topography of angles and planes laid out before me, I lavished my attention on his budded nipple. He arched into me, a desirous whimper pulled from his chest that became a throaty moan when my focus moved on to the other nipple. His hands slid across my shoulders, then into the hair at the nape of my neck. He didn't try to control my movements, he sought to create another tangible connection between us. Pausing, I rested my chin on his chest to look at him, melting into his fevered skin. Carlisle carded his fingers through my tangled hair, each gentle tug reawakening the consuming need I'd always had for him. Cradling my neck, his thumb rasped across my stubbled jaw, our eyes locked while emotions poured between us.

My hands spanned his chest, then pressed into the mattress on either side of him. Lifting my body, I dipped my head, leaning down to claim his mouth again. His relief, his love, were palpable. I tasted it in his lips, felt it with each touch. My heart swelled at its revelation in his every glance. We wouldn't just be okay, we would be perfect.

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><p><em><strong>I'm beginning to think y'all have no faith in me. Everyone keeps waiting for bad things to happen. Would I do that? Never mind, that's probably a rhetorical question. <strong>_


	42. Chapter 42

_**I think I managed a review reply to almost everyone, just a few I didn't get a chance to hit yet. Thank you, every single one of you, for loving these men as much as I do. Special love to harrytwifan, for her unfailing support. Words can't explain how much I value her friendship. **_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Two<strong>

**EPOV**

Our tongues tangled, my arms shaking from the strain of maintaining my position over him. I wanted to sink into him and absorb all he had to give, but this wasn't about taking anymore. Carlisle's hands slipped away from my cheeks, launching on their own path of rediscovery. The muscles in my abdomen tightened against the urge to thrust against him when he stroked across the ticklish spot under my ribs, the same one he'd discovered by accident the first morning I cooked breakfast for him and he tried to sneak up behind me. The burn in my shoulder was forgotten when with faltering touches, his hands spread wide across my chest, before moving lower to pull my hips down against him. Allowing my body to relax, I pulled away from his mouth, scraping my teeth down his jaw, before opening my eyes to meet his again.

"Show me, Edward." Carlisle's voice was low, shaking with emotion. "I need you so much, love me."

With another kiss, I did.

My hands teased across his skin, touching here, pressing there, while my mouth explored where they didn't. His stomach rippled at the languid stroke of my tongue, the muscles contracting under the onslaught of attention. His rigid cock danced with each jagged breath, beads of moisture glistening a trail down the velvet smooth shaft. Peering up from under my lashes, I savored his reaction when I dragged my tongue through the slit before swirling around the corona. When Carlisle's hips bucked in response, I pressed him to the bed, my forearm resting across them to keep him still. We had the rest of the night to luxuriate in the renewal of our relationship; I wanted to cherish each moment for the gift it was.

Taking my time, I wrapped my lips around him, my tongue massaging against the sensitive underside of the engorged tip, before lowering my head to take him all in. The pungent, musky smell of sex and sandalwood filled my nose, my own cock twitching in response to the evocative fragrance I would only ever associate with my love. A fretful moan accompanied the shift of his body, punctuated with a gasp when I swallowed him deep in my throat.

Carlisle's legs quivered on either side of me, fighting the urge to thrust into my accommodating mouth. Easing back, I smoothed soothing circles on his thigh with one hand, while pumping his cock in languid strokes with the other. My lips kissed and nipped the skin of his groin, my hands reacquainting themselves with the intricacies of his body. His skin was once again covered in a sheen of sweat, each defined muscle gleaming, the rugged masculinity enhanced under the encroaching moonlight. In a word, he was beautiful.

My gaze traversed his sensuous naked form, while I mouthed the sac pulled up against the base of his rod. Tasting my way back to his tip, I left a glistening strip of saliva in my wake. When I pulled his cock between my lips again, Carlisle's hand grasped my neck, guiding my motions, his hips circling up to meet each downward bob. Keeping each stroke shallow, he fucked my mouth, while his thumb traced the contour of the corded muscles of my neck.

Taking my own aching cock in hand, I tightly encircled the base, desperate to tamp down the aching burn to bury myself inside him. I pulled slow, agonizing strokes, the fire stoked, ready to burst into flames again. _Not yet, not yet,_ my mind screamed out, warring with the frenzied desire consuming me. This wasn't about me; it was about what we had…together.

Gasping pants filled the air, Carlisle murmuring my name in broken syllables. I felt his fingers tighten on my neck, his thrusting became erratic, and his muscles contracted under my hand. Without warning, his orgasm ripped through him, filling my mouth with his thick, sticky cream, while he shuddered through it. I swallowed repeatedly, then licked him clean. He clawed at my arms, wrapping his hands around my biceps to pull me up his body. Once Carlisle had me positioned on his chest, he stretched his arm out to the side. I thought he was looking to pull the covers over top of us. Instead, he handed me the lube and condoms.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Ready for the rest? Hopefully lunchtime tomorrow, dinner time at the latest. FYI- my world runs on Eastern Standard Time. <strong>_


	43. Chapter 43

_**Later than planned, I let my school work distract me longer than expected. It would help if these boys would stop talking to me while I'm trying to concentrate. Its not hard to forgive them, though, when they tell me such pretty things. **_

_**SOngs:**_

_** Deeper the Love by Whitesnake **_

_**Falling Slowly from Once soundtrack **_

_**Shiver by Jamie O'Neal  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Three<strong>

**EPOV**

Despite the heavy weight of my aching cock pressed between us, I hesitated when Carlisle handed me the supplies. It wasn't that I didn't want him. God, I wanted him. But, I didn't want the night to be about gratification. I'd have been content to hold him until we both fell asleep; knowing neither of us wanted to be anywhere else. His pleading eyes spoke to my heart; the erotic sensation of his mouth on my neck weakened my resistance, and the volatile slide of his hips rocking against mine shattered my resolve.

Sliding off his body, I settled my knee next to his hip, supporting my upper body on one elbow. I held my hand steady while Carlisle squirted lube on my fingers. Massaging them together to warm the thick gel, I reached between his legs. He sighed when I slicked my fingers across his opening, his open mouth an invitation I couldn't ignore. I traced the supple line of his lips with just the tip of my tongue, until he leaned into me to deepen the kiss. I inserted the tip of my first finger at the same time his tongue entered my mouth, both thrusting in unison. He bent his leg, allowing his knee to fall to the side, relaxing his ass against the welcome invasion. When his hips entered the rhythmic dance, I added a second finger, twisting and pushing against the tight rings of muscle to loosen them. I marveled at the feel of his cock stirring under my arm, amazed that he had any energy left to obtain an erection.

"I'm ready, Edward, please-," Carlisle entreated, his hands eagerly roaming my body.

"Soon, babe. Let me take my time," I murmured against his throat, my words reverberating against his Adam's apple.

The feel of him swallowing under my lips sent a coiling wave of fire to the pit of my stomach, flaring the barely contained desire that simmered there. When my fingers slid effortlessly in and out of him, I added a third, spreading and contracting them in time to the pace he set with his body, while a gurgled moan rumbled in his chest. Carlisle's cock bobbed against his stomach, signaling his return to full arousal. He groped across the bed for the condom packet, tearing it open and smoothing the latex sheath around my leaking tip and down my tumescent shaft. I looked down between us, watching with hooded eyes while he coated my sheathed cock with a generous handful of lube, unable to control my need to thrust into his tight fist. I couldn't wait any longer. If I did, I'd shoot my load before I ever entered him.

I stretched out behind Carlisle, wanting to cradle his body while I made love to him. Easing my fingers one at a time from his body, I lifted his near leg and pressed it forward, opening him for me. I rubbed my length through his crack, bringing the tip to rest against the furled hole. Carlisle wiggled back against me, a needy whimper accompanying his movements. Grasping his hips, I rocked forward, breaching the opening, his hot tunnel surrounding me like a glove. Gritting my teeth, I fought the urge to plunge into him, instead taking my time to slowly fill his tight ass.

I wrapped my arm around Carlisle's chest, pulling him back to lavish kisses across his shoulders. He curled his arm back, fisting my hair to pull my mouth to his. Our bodies rocked together, each slow thrust a delightful torture. Ghosting my hand down his washboard perfect abs, I found his cock nestled up against the dark blond trail of hair. He bit my bottom lip when I gripped him, matching each stroke to our thrusting hips. Our feet entwined, our bodies melding into each other, a heated flush tingeing our skin.

Carlisle released his grip on my hair, dropping his hand to grasp my ass, his blunt, well-manicured nails digging half moon shapes into the porcelain white globe. I shifted, the change in angle increasing the pressure on his prostrate. A low growl erupted, wrenched from my body with the clenching pulse of his ass when he came again. His hips rolled, riding out his orgasm on my dick, his whispered, "I love you" combining with the mind-numbing sensation to pull me over the edge. I shuddered, my release filling the condom while I continued to milk the last drops from his softening dick.

Unwillingly, I released him, grasping the condom at the base of my shaft while I withdrew from his tight heat. I whispered I'd be right back when he exhaled a mewling whimper at the loss of my warmth. Walking into the bathroom, I turned on the nightlight next to the sink, removing and discarding the condom before wetting two clothes with hot water. After cleaning myself off, I dropped the used cloth on the floor under the counter, returning with the other one to tend to my lover. Tugging down the sheets and blankets from under him, I tucked Carlisle in before climbing in on the opposite side. Settling against Carlisle's exhausted body, I held him, our fingers tangling together on his stomach. I drifted into the most peaceful night's sleep I'd had in six months.

* * *

><p><em><strong>*tucks them both in* sleep, guys, you've earned it. <strong>_


	44. Chapter 44

_**I loved and appreciated all y'all's reviews last chapter, and I apologize for not replying, but apparently the plague has descended on my house. I was busy with Lysol and doctor's appointments today. I did manage to write you an early update, though, so that counts, right? **_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Four<strong>

**CPOV**

The early morning sun streamed across the bed; the rays a soothing warmth on my face. Cracking open one eye, I checked the clock, noting the early hour, and contemplated drifting back to sleep, tucked securely against Edward's body. Tempting though the thought was I knew we couldn't waste any more time. We had about four hours still left to drive. If we could manage to hit the road before ten, I'd have plenty of time to finalize the plans for Nan's funeral. My full bladder decided the issue for me.

Slipping out of Edward's embrace, I eased out of bed. I paused to draw the curtains shut, before stepping into the bathroom to relieve myself. My body ached all over, a delicious reminder of the night before. My reflection looked back at me, revealing a contented smile to accompany the purplish bite mark Edward had left on shoulder in the car the day before. After washing my hands and brushing my teeth, I gingerly grazed my fingertips across the sore skin, taking delight in my ability to make Edward lose control the way I had in the car. There was something to be said for spontaneity. He'd tried to show me that in the past; I'd be paying more attention in the future.

Remembering my slumbering lover, I walked to the bathroom door and leaned against the jamb, pausing to drink the sight of him in. I resisted the urge to hug myself, giddy at the turn of events over the last forty-eight hours. The reason for the road trip hadn't escaped me, and I offered a silent prayer that somehow Nan knew Edward was by my side, that we were fixing our broken shit.

My stomach rumbled then, reminding me that our last meal had been over twelve hours earlier. The desk clerk had said breakfast service started at six thirty. Taking another look at the rumpled bronze hair snuggled into the mass of pillows, I made my decision. I needed a shower, but a part of me hoped I could convince Edward to join me in one if I waited. Finding my wrinkled shorts from the day before, I tugged them on, then retrieved my shirt off the chair in the sitting area. I palmed a room key off the table, leaving a scrawled note in case Edward woke up while I was gone. I needn't have bothered.

When I returned a half an hour later, hands laden with platefuls of food, I found him much like I'd left him. Clearing room on the small table, I set the plates down before piling Edward's junk food back in the bag. I'd taken extra plates from the dining area, using them to cover the food to keep the hot food, hot. Discovering a coffee service set up in the small kitchenette, I put on a pot to brew, knowing Edward couldn't function without his morning jolt of java. Once it finished, I made him a cup, then walked over to sit down next to him on the bed.

Setting the cup down on the night table, I leaned over to kiss Edward awake. I brushed my lips across his eyelids, then pulled his bottom lip between mine, sucking on the full curve while I rested my hand against his scruffy cheek. He hummed in appreciation, his eyes still closed, his arm circling around my shoulder to pull me closer. The kisses were light, welcoming, perfect. Leaning back, I smiled, staring into his sleep-heavy eyes when he blinked himself awake.

"Good morning, love."

He pulled me back for another kiss. "Mmhhmm. Good morning to you, too," he whispered. His eyes opened a bit wider, before asking, "Do I smell coffee?"

Pulling back, I picked up the cup from the night table, waiting while he Edward pushed himself to a sitting position, tucking a pillow behind his back on the headboard.

"That you do." I handed him the cup, watching him take a sip, before continuing, "I remembered how you can't function without it. I have breakfast, too." Patting his leg, I stood and walked over to the table to pick up the plates.

"Wait. _You _got breakfast?" The look coffee-induced bliss on Edward's face turned incredulous, his eyebrow lifting in disbelief. "Like, got up before an alarm clock, physically left the room, and went somewhere else to retrieve breakfast?"

The cocky smirk on his lips removed the sting from his words, but I knew he was right. I'd never made an extra effort in the past, more than content to let him be the one taking care of my needs all the time. One more thing I promised myself to change.

"I did. They have a hot continental breakfast downstairs. I think I remembered most of your favorites. Slide over so I can join you."

He readily complied, taking the plates from my hand so I could get myself situated on the bed, then handing one back to me. His murmured appreciation when I lifted the cover plate only reinforced my decision to find a better balance in our relationship. Getting us both breakfast had taken almost no time, been such a simple action, but he acted as if I'd given him something precious. I supposed, in his mind I had. I'd given him my time, the only thing he'd ever asked from me. Leaning my head on his shoulder, I looked up at him. He turned to meet my gaze, his eyes shining. I slid my hand around his neck, pulling him closer.

"I love you," I whispered against his lips.

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><p><em><strong>SIGH I love them so much. They almost make my teeth hurt, they're so sweet. <strong>_


	45. Chapter 45

_**Wow you guys really liked the last chapter! I'm so glad to see that the last few holdouts on Carlisle being an asshat are coming around. The plague still abounds and my youngest daughter has been added to the sick list. **_

_** failed for everything, so no review replies, my darlings. **_

_**All the same applies, - NO beta, SM owns them, I manipulate for my own deviant pleasure. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Five<strong>

**EPOV**

Waking up to a kiss from Carlisle had been a dream come true. Even more amazing had been the fact that he'd made me coffee and brought us both breakfast in bed. In the two years that we'd lived together, I couldn't recall a time he'd been out of bed before me, much less bothered with the basics like running the coffee maker. Before we met, he'd had breakfast on the run, grabbing his morning dose of caffeine and a muffin from the shop in the lobby at the office. He worked long hours, sometimes getting home so late, I'd started getting up earlier so we could spend a few minutes together in the morning. Not until he handed me my plate did I realize how such a simple thing could mean so much. His kiss assured me he'd realized it, too.

We shared our plates, feeding pieces of fruit and bacon to each other. Our legs were entangled together, Carlisle lying across my chest, an almost ethereal glow about him, as if he'd been set alight from inside. When he laughed, the familiar lines appeared around his eyes, the amber glow of his gaze warming my heart. Fun slowly turned intimate, fingers lingering on lips, kisses becoming deeper. He rolled over to set the plates on the night table and I took the opportunity to run my hand down his spine and across his ass. He pressed back against my body, dropping his head to the side when I teased my lips across his neck.

"Thank you," I sighed against his skin.

Twisting, he leaned back over me.

"For what?"

"For this." I waved my hand vaguely, bringing it to rest on the small of his back. "Breakfast, my coffee. Being here. Loving me."

"Loving you is easy; I never stopped." Carlisle lowered his head, color blazing on his cheeks. "The rest…it… hell, it's such a simple thing."

"Sometimes the simple things mean more, babe," I murmured, before slanting my mouth over his, my other arm encircling his shoulders.

Carlisle lifted his torso to explore my mouth deeper, the pressure of his cock grinding against my barely contained morning wood wreaking havoc with my self-control. I fisted his shirt, pushing him to rub harder. Our bodies slithered against one another, the sheet sliding lower until he pushed it away to reveal my full-fledged erection. He palmed my aching cock, wrapping his fist around me when I rutted into his hand. I moaned at the sensation, dropping my head back against the headboard. Carlisle's teeth clamped down on my nipple, tugging it to a hardened point.

"Fuuuuuccckkkk! Car, babe—shit!" Fire shot through my body, racing to center in the throbbing shaft Carlisle stroked with measured determination.

I couldn't think. I could barely breathe. I knew we needed to get on the road and I didn't care. I doubted an Act of God would get me out of bed at that moment. He twisted his wrist, dragging his palm across my leaking tip to gather the moisture accumulating there. I flattened my feet into the mattress, lifting my hips to meet each stroke, while I clawed at Carlisle's shirt to pull it off of him. He resisted, grabbing my hand and tangling our fingers together, his mouth igniting fireworks everywhere he touched my skin.

"Let go, love," he murmured into my ear, before nipping the lobe. "Just feel it baby, don't think."

Every muscle in my body tightened as I hovered on the edge, then became formless when I came, a cacophony of sound and color filling my senses. Ribbons of come striped my abdomen and chest while Carlisle continued stroking me through my release, my shouts swallowed when he captured my mouth again. His hand continued to slide across my cock long after I stopped shuddering, the sensations still tingling along my spine. Lethargic, I struggled to keep my eyes open, more than content to fall back asleep with him in my arms. That dream was denied when Carlisle slapped my thigh.

"No sleeping, Edward," he teased when I started from the stinging slap. "I'd love to stay right here, too, but we need to go take care of Nan. C'mon," he stood, reaching for my hand, "let's go take a shower. I'll even wash your—" his eyes drifted down my body, the tip of his tongue touching his upper lip, then returned to meet mine before continuing, "—back."

Laughing, I let him pull me from the bed. "I hope that wasn't your idea of subtle, sweetheart," I said, turning him toward the bathroom with my arms wrapped around his shoulders, "because honestly, you suck at subtlety."

"True, but there are other things that I suck well at, and don't you forget it," he shot back, dragging me with him into the steaming hot shower.

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><p><em><strong>K seriously, I did NOT intend for there to be even a hint of a lemon in this chapter. However, these boys can't seem to keep their hands off each other. SIGH got to let them go with it, I guess. <strong>_


	46. Chapter 46

_**So I had a chapter about done, when I decided none of it worked like I wanted it to. So I scrapped it, and here is the new one. I'm much happier with this, I hope y'all are too. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. **_

_**All the same things apply—not beta's I don't own them, they own me. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Six<strong>

**EPOV**

Even with the relaxing warmth, the shock of a face full of water woke me right up. Then again, perhaps it was the feel of Carlisle's soap covered hands gliding across my skin that did the trick. Either way, I became a more than willing participant in our shower, taking the time to make sure Carlisle was thoroughly washed—twice. The second time was out of necessity, when I stroked him to orgasm, come splattering all over his freshly washed abdomen. I apologized while cleaning him up, but the tell-tale wicked smirk I was unable to hide undermined my sincerity.

We took turns drying each other off, hands lingering over long, each touch a teasing promise for later. While Carlisle called down to do rapid checkout, I gathered our things from around the room. Bending down to check under the far side of the bed, I snorted then began laughing; causing Carlisle to turn to see what was so funny. I straightened, holding the can of Easy Cheese over my head like a trophy. He rolled his eyes, finished talking, then hung up.

"Looks like you forgot about your plans last night, huh?" He leaned against the desk, his arms crossed over his chest, while a smug smile played across his lips.

"I was offered better alternatives that effectively sidetracked me," I replied, stepping between his legs and licking the scruff on his chin.

"Edward." The pleading tone to his voice, followed by a wistful sigh caused me to pull back. "Baby, I love you, don't ever doubt that, but we…"

"…have to get on the road," we finished the sentence together.

I leaned my forehead against his, our noses touching. Closing my eyes for a second, I breathed him in. He was still real, we were still okay. I brushed a soft kiss across his lips, then reluctantly stepped back and dropped the can of cheese in the sack of junk food. Carlisle reached for our overnight bags, twining his hand in mine when we stepped out into the hallway.

"Everything taken care of?" I asked when he leaned against me in the elevator.

"Yes, we can head straight to the car. Do you mind driving? I need to make a couple phone calls; I have to call the funeral home and speak with Nan's pastor." He released a heavy sigh, rubbing a hand across his eyes.

"Whatever you need, babe, you know that. Take care of what you need to."

The elevator opened onto the lobby, ending our conversation as we wended through the small crowds of people milling in the lobby. When we reached the car, I took the bags from him to put them in the trunk. I closed the lid, surprised to see him still standing next to the passenger door.

"Car?" He looked up, sadness written all over his face. I walked over to fold him in my arms. "Babe, it's going to be okay. Do you want me to make the calls?"

He shook his head against my chest. "No, I need to do this. It's not like we just found out; I've known for almost a week. With the tension between us, though, it was easier to forget for a while. She was all the family I had left and I'm not sure what I'll do without her."

Lifting his chin, I stared into his tearful amber eyes. "I envy you, Car, I really do. Makenna was one of a kind. Not every gay man is as fortunate as you were, I know I wasn't. But you aren't alone, sweetheart, I'm here. Lean on me when you need to, okay?" He nodded, a tear sliding down his cheek. Leaning in, I kissed it away. "Let's go, babe. The sooner you take care of the arrangements, the sooner you can work on accepting it."

I held the door while he settled in the car, then walked around to slip into the driver's seat. By the time we exited the parking lot he had his phone out. I laid my hand on the console between us and he took it, offering me a grateful smile. When I looked back at the road, he squeezed my hand. Pausing at a stop sign, I turned my attention back to him. Carlisle dropped the phone under his chin before mouthing the words, "I love you. Thank you."

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><p><em><strong>K, so I know that as a rule, I tend to be a huge sap anyway, but I have to be honest. Every time they talk to each other, my heart just swells to the point of hurting. SIGH <strong>_

_**I can see the end in sight. My intention, all along, has been for this to end after the funeral. However, our boys, especially Edward, have been telling me all kinds of interesting things that happened long after the funeral. So, I thought I'd float the idea that I've already mentioned to a few people. There is a very strong chance of a sequel in a couple of months, if anyone might be interested. **_


	47. Chapter 47

_**So, looks like a sequel holds appeal to everyone who reviewed. *happy smiles* I'm thrilled y'all want to see some more of what life will be like for these boys when they return home. For now, we have a funeral to get through.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Seven<strong>

**EPOV**

By the time we reached Payson around noon, all the arrangements had been made, and Carlisle had been asleep for almost two hours. He had tentative plans to see the pastor from Makenna's church at three and we still had another hour had a half to drive. When my stomach started rumbling, I let go of Carlisle's hand and reached into the back for the bag of junk food we'd thrown on top of the cooler. Pulling out a couple of Slim Jims and the bag of Bugles I'd bought, I tossed them up on the dash, before flipping the lid off the cooler to grab a bottle of water. It was warm, but better than nothing. I'd polished off all the food and started on a second bottle of water by the time Carlisle began stirring just east of Mesa.

"What is that smell?" His nose crinkled while he stretched.

"Bugles. There aren't any left, though. I finished them. I think there's some cheese popcorn and a few more Slim Jims left in the bag if you want them."

'God, Edward they smell rank," he declared, reaching behind the seat for the bag. "Where are we?"

"Just outside of Mesa. Unfortunately, after drinking two bottles of water, I'm going to need to stop before we get to your grandmother's house. I'm going to pull off at that McDonalds up the road." I paused while checking the traffic to change lanes. "You might want to take over driving, too; we aren't too far from Makenna's. I don't remember the roads in her neighborhood that well, since I didn't do a lot of driving when we were out at Christmas." I pulled into the busy parking lot, finding a spot near the side doors.

"Do you want to grab something to eat while we're here?" he asked, when we exited the car. "I talked to Maggie on Wednesday. She said she'd emptied the perishables out of the refrigerator, so I don't expect there's a whole lot to pick from at Nan's."

Maggie Hale, a fifty-something widow, had bought the house next to Makenna's shortly after I met Carlisle. While they eventually became friends, Maggie's initial reaction to our relationship had made things a bit tense between the two women. Once Maggie got to know us, she became more accepting, but I think that was due in large part to Carlisle being Makenna's grandson, more so than a change in her personal beliefs. Regardless, she'd gone above and beyond the call of friendship to help Carlisle deal with the stuff that needed to be taken care of before he could get to Arizona.

"No, it's fine. Your grandmother kept a well-stocked pantry. I'm sure I can manage something when we get to the house. I want you to have enough time to unwind before you have to go to your appointments."

We hurried through our rest stop, getting right back on the road. Less than a half hour later, we were turning into the driveway of Makenna's two story Victorian cottage. Located just a couple miles from Arizona State University, it sat in an older, quiet residential neighborhood. She and Carlisle's grandfather Charles had bought it shortly after they were married, when he came home after serving in the Navy during the war. I hadn't even considered what Carlisle would do with the house, now that Makenna was gone.

I could see Carlisle struggling with his emotions while he looked at the house. I leaned over and gave him a kiss, before opening the car door. Before we could pull our bags from the trunk, Maggie came bustling across the yard, a casserole dish in her hand. She shoved the dish at me before wrapping her arms around Carlisle.

"I thought y'all would have been in yesterday. I was getting worried, thinking you might have had car troubles or something. Was traffic bad?" She leaned back, studying his face.

"No, not too bad. It's just a long trip and we didn't want to push it and risk having an accident," he assured her, giving her another hug before stepping away. "Maggie, you remember Edward, right?"

"Hmmph. Got to say, I didn't expect to see _you _here." The displeasure in her voice caused me to take a step back. Carlisle lifted an eyebrow and shrugged in confusion. Before he could comment, Maggie took his arm and dragged him toward the house. "I made sure the trash went out and cleaned the kitchen. Makenna had some laundry in the washer, so I finished that up, too. Everything in the house…"

Her voice trailed off as they got closer to the house. Her attitude had shocked me. While we knew she didn't approve of our lifestyle, Maggie had always been pleasant when we were at Makenna's. I doubted anything Makenna said would have caused Maggie's reaction, either, since she'd been nothing other than supportive after Carlisle and I broke up. Shaking my head, I followed them into the house, still carrying the casserole dish.

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><p><strong><em>Hmmm Maggie's got her panties in a bunch, doesn't she? <em>**


	48. Chapter 48

_**FF went into fail mode again, thankfully not nearly as long as it did on Thursday. No review replies, obviously, but here is your next update. Thanks so much to everyone who is still reading this foolishness.**_

_**All the usual applies—no beta, SM own, Carlisle and Edward own me.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Eight<strong>

**EPOV**

I found them in the kitchen, Maggie still rambling on about everything she'd taken care of prior to Carlisle's arrival. Setting the dish on the wide island that divided the kitchen from the breakfast nook; I left them to their conversation and returned to the car to grab our bags. When I walked back inside the house, I set them by the bottom of the stairs, before returning to the kitchen.

"…and when I was at the rectory yesterday Pastor Webber mentioned that you hadn't set a time to meet with him yet. If the funeral's still going to be Monday, you need to get in touch with him. He may not have time after services tomorrow." She paused to take a breath, giving me the opening I needed to rescue Carlisle from the judgmental cow.

"Babe, I put the suitcases by the bottom of the stairs. I didn't know if you wanted to take a shower before your meeting with the pastor." There, that should take some wind out of her sails.

"Oh, well, then I'll get out of your way." She stood, her hands fluttering like seagulls that had been fed Alka-Seltzer. I coughed to cover the snort that accompanied the image, turning toward the cupboard to hide the smile on my face. "There's a chicken rice casserole in the dish, you can just pop it in the oven to reheat it for dinner. Three hundred and fifty degrees for about thirty minutes. Carlisle, dear, if you need anything, I'm right next door."

Carlisle followed her to the door, his words floating back to me, increasing my smile. "We appreciate it, Maggie. After driving all day, I don't think either one of us was looking forward to cooking. I'm sure we'll be fine, but if I need anything, I'll send Edward to get you."

The minute I heard the door click shut, I sunk to the floor, unable to contain my amusement a minute longer. Carlisle walked back in the room, shaking his head over Maggie's rudeness, to find me there. Holding my sides, tears streaming down my face, I laughed uproariously, the strain of the past few days fueling the release. When he began chuckling too, I reached for his hand to pull him down next to me. Leaning against each other, our bodies shaking, we allowed ourselves to indulge in a moment of brevity. After a few minutes, the laughter began to subside, though we continued to smother small giggles every time we looked at each other. Finally, with a sigh, Carlisle dropped his head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, baby."

"For what, Car? She is what she is. I have to say, I'm surprised, though. She's always been so nice in the past." I picked up his hand, placing a kiss on his open palm. "Maggie's opinion has no bearing on us, you made that clear to her."

"I don't know what set her off. Nan made it clear to me, from the minute I called her after you left, that she wouldn't take sides. She said she knew things were off at Christmas, but hoped we'd work it. I doubt anything she said would have spawned Maggie's animosity." He sighed again before continuing, "You don't deserve to be treated like that."

"Come here." I guided him to straddle my lap so I could look in his eyes. "Sweetheart, she can think what she wants. I love you, I loved Makenna." My arms lay across his thighs, my hands resting on the small of his back. "Even if we hadn't worked things out, I would always be here for her, and you."

Carlisle cupped my cheeks and brushed his lips across mine. "I know you would, hun, but if she gets out of hand, I will put her in her place. You _are_ here, we _are_ together, and I know Nan is smiling on us."

We sat that way for a few minutes, taking comfort from each other, while memories of the woman we'd both lost came to mind. The chirping of the cuckoo clock hanging in the nook reminded us that things still needed to be done. Craning my neck, I checked the time. Two o'clock. With a groan, Carlisle clambered to his feet, offering his hand to help me up.

"Why don't you go get cleaned up while I find us some lunch?" I offered, already opening the pantry cupboard. "And Car?" He paused at the archway, turning to look back at me. "Don't shave. I like the way it feels against my skin."

A throaty moan was the only reply I received.

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><p><em><strong>Well, looks like Carlisle and Edward both got subtle digs in on Maggie. <strong>_


	49. Chapter 49

_**Thanks so much to everyone who is still reading this foolishness. I had to pick between review replies and schoolwork—despite my wishes, school won. **_

_**All the usual applies—no beta, SM owns them, Carlisle and Edward own me.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Forty-Nine<strong>

**EPOV**

By the time Carlisle returned to the kitchen, I was pulling a tray of freshly baked French rolls out of the oven to accompany the canned beef stew I found in the pantry. He walked up behind me at the counter and rested his chin on my shoulder, rubbing his still scruff covered cheek against mine. I set down the hot baking sheet, then turned around to take him in.

He'd washed up, I could smell the fresh scent of musky sandalwood drifting around him, and changed his clothes. The khaki trousers he'd selected had been paired with a forest green polo shirt. I dragged my thumbnail across the scruff, loving the raspy vibration against my skin. He smiled, brushing a kiss across my lips.

"You approve?"

"Very much so. I know you'll have to shave soon, but it's a good look for you. You don't look quite so…refined," I teased, brushing back a strand of hair that had fallen across his forehead. "Actually, I have to say, I don't think I've ever seen you so casual, even when I came over the condo the other day."

'Remember I said things had changed at work?" I nodded, waiting for him to continue while my hands smoothed across the piqué fabric on his shoulders. "I don't work on the floor anymore. Since my promotion, I direct client accounts, pass on orders to the floor, monitor market trends, and am generally sitting on my ass behind a computer all day. My only contact with the public is tele-conferences. It's a lot less stressful and the environment is more casual."

"So the scruff can stay?" My eyebrow quirked. The thought of seeing Carlisle like this every day sent a spark of fire to my groin.

"If I keep it trimmed, yes, it can stay. Do you really like it?" He peered around me to look at his distorted reflection in the gleaming stainless backsplash behind the stove.

"Does this answer your question?" I slid my hands to his ass, pressing him against the wood I'd sprung.

"Mmhhmm. Yes, it does," he hummed. "You might want to put that away for later, though. Pastor Weber will be here in about 30 minutes. He's out visiting a parishioner near here and offered to drop by, rather than both of us driving to the church."

"Oh. Well, then, we'd better hurry up and eat."

We worked together to get lunch on the table, finishing our meal with enough time to clean up the dishes before Pastor Mike Weber arrived. Carlisle answered the door while I finished the dishes. After putting the last bowl away, I dried my hands on a dishtowel, then joined them in the living room. Accepting his offered condolences, and the invitation to call him by his first name, I shook the older gentleman's hand, before joining Carlisle on the sofa. He reached over and twined his fingers with mine, resting our clasped hands on his leg.

"Well, Makenna would have been pleased to see this," Mike offered, with a warm smile. "I'm sure she's smiling in Heaven, she always knew it would only be a matter of time before you two patched things up."

We both nodded, neither of us sure what to say. We were saved the trouble of making small talk when he spoke again.

"Honestly, there isn't a whole lot for us to go over. Your grandmother had made most of the arrangements last year when she had that scare with the pneumonia. She didn't want you to have to be bothered with the details, knowing you would have to handle so much long distance." He reached into the folder he carried, pulling out a few sheets of paper. "Makenna had already decided on what passages she wanted read, music, even included a message that she wanted to leave her friends with."

Carlisle leaned forward to accept the papers, holding them so I could see what Makenna had written. I'd have recognized her precise handwriting anywhere. I pointed to one of the songs on the list, causing us both to smile at the shared memory of her telling us it would be played at her funeral a couple years earlier. We'd both shushed her, not wanting to have to consider the possibility of her leaving us. She'd gotten her wish, anyway.

Mike cleared his throat, "Carlisle, I was hoping you might be able to say a few words, too." He paused, then directed his attention to me. "You too, Edward. She considered you every bit her grandson, also."

A lump formed in my throat, blocking any words I might have been able to come up with. Carlisle squeezed my hand, then handed the papers back to the pastor. The two of them discussed the time frame for the funeral, working out the few things still needing to be finalized. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. Pulling it out, I saw Seth's name flashing on the screen. I'd asked him not to call while we were on the road, promising I'd call him when we reached Arizona. Of course, I'd expected to be in a day sooner, too. Flipping the display towars Carlisle so he could see who was calling, I excused myself to step out of the room and take the call.

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><p><em><strong>Wonder how Seth is going to take the news that Carlisle and Edward have reunited? Stay tuned.<strong>_

_**I'm working on a little surprise, too, hopefully for tomorrow. **_


	50. Chapter 50

_**Happy Valentine's Day to all my lovely readers! Apparently, I am about to become a great aunt for the second time – my niece is on her way to the hospital as I type this. Hopefully, by the time little Nathaniel is old enough to fall in love, the world won't care who he chooses. **_

_**All the usual applies—no beta, SM owns, Carlisle and Edward own me.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Fifty<strong>

"Hey Seth," I answered, after I stepped outside. "I'm sorry I didn't call sooner. We only got in a couple hours ago and the neighbor was lying in wait when we pulled into the driveway. By the time she left and we ate, Makenna's pastor had arrived to meet with Carlisle."

"_It's okay. Garrett and I were getting worried, though. I was hoping you two didn't kill each other. Do you need to go?" _

"No, it's fine. We were almost done, anyway. And Carlisle and I are good. Actually, better than good. We talked while we were on the road and sorted through a lot of shit. We —"

Seth interrupted before I could continue, his voice dripping with venom.

"_Good, I hope he groveled after the way he treated you. You deserved way better than what he put you through. Now, when you get home you can finally put it all behind you and move on to someone who'll appreciate you."_

His words shocked me. I knew he'd been furious with Carlisle over what happened, his anger causing some tension with his partner when Garrett and Carlisle remained friends. Even after I tried to explain that I wasn't completely blameless in what happened, Seth wouldn't listen, placing all the fault on Carlisle's shoulders. I hadn't considered the possibility that he wouldn't be supportive if we renewed our relationship. With calm deliberation, I set the record straight.

"Seth, Carlisle and I are going to make this work. I'm moving back to condo when I get back to Chicago." I had to pull the phone away from my ear when he started yelling at me.

"_Are you fucking nuts? He completely took you for granted, had absolutely no respect for your time, your feelings, nothing. And you're going to move back in with him? What the hell are you thinking, Edward?"_

"I'm thinking I love him and I want to share my life with him," I shot back, exasperated. "He's it, Seth. There isn't anyone else for me. The past six months proved it. No matter what I did, where I went, who I fucked, I only wanted to be with Carlisle. I'm not walking away from a second chance."

"_And when he shits all over you, again? I'm not picking up the pieces, E, not this time. If you're stupid enough to take him back after how he treated you, I wash my hands of the whole thing."_

I could hear Garrett in the background, his tone conciliatory, trying to calm Seth down.

"_No, it's bullshit, Gar. You want to be friends with him, that's fine, but I don't have to be."_

"Seth," I paused, then spoke a little louder, trying to be heard over his tirade at Garrett. "Seth." Finally, I shouted at him, "Damn it, Seth, answer me!"

"_What?"_ he snapped._ "I thought you were smarter than this, E. I really did." _

I raked my hand through my hair. Seth and I had known each other a long time, I valued our friendship, but no way would I let him continue ripping Carlisle to shreds.

"Look, think what you like, Seth. I'm moving back home with Carlisle next week. He's not the same man I left six months ago; he's changed." Calming down, I paused, lowering my voice, "We were both to blame for what happened. I know you don't want to believe it, but it's true. Neither one of us is perfect, but damn it, Seth, he's perfect for me."

I heard Seth's frustrated snort.

"Don't make me pick between the two of you. You're my best friend, I would do almost anything for you, but giving up Carlisle isn't on that list. Give him a chance, if for no other reason than the sake of our friendship."

When I heard no response, I checked the display to see if the call had been disconnected. Putting the phone back to my ear, I heard Garrett calling my name.

"_Edward? You still there?" _

"I'm here Gar. Can you talk to him? Please?" I pleaded, hoping he could persuade Seth to calm down and give Carlisle the opportunity to show he'd changed.

"_I'll try, it's the best I can offer."_ I murmured my thanks._ "Is Carlisle holding up okay? Do you guys need anything?"_

"He's doing as well as can be expected. It's harder now that we're here. While we were on the road, the situation between us kind of kept the focus off Makenna being gone. The funeral's on Monday; I think we'll be heading back on Wednesday, depending on how things go. I may need to call my office to get a couple more days off to help him take care of packing up the house. We haven't really had a chance to talk about the logistics yet."

"_Well if there is anything I can do from here, let me know. I'm glad the two of you were able to work things out. I know he missed you after you left; he wasn't the same without you. I'll work on Seth. He's stubborn, but he's realistic too. Take care of each other." _

I promised him I would and thanked him again for his concern and support, before hanging up the phone. What a clusterfuck! I hated that Seth and I were at odds, but from over a thousand miles away, there wasn't a whole hell of a lot I could do about it. Hopefully, time and talking with Garrett would calm him down enough to see reason before we got home.

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><p><em><strong>Ahhh, Edward—sometimes our friends are the least understanding. I know, I know -not a completely happy Valentine's Day post, but oh I did love that Edward stood up for his man. <strong>_


	51. Chapter 51

_**Good evening my lovelies—or morning, depending on what time zone you're in. A lot of interesting views on Seth's outburst in yesterday's reviews. Let me just say, there will be more about that situation in the sequel. **_

_**All the same warnings/disclaimers apply: no beta, SM owns them, they own me.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-One<strong>

**CPOV**

When Edward had showed me his phone, a feeling of dread settled in my stomach. Despite my friendship with Garrett, his fiancé Seth had been less than cordial to me since Edward moved out. While I now knew why, I couldn't stop worrying how much grief he'd put Edward through when he heard we were back together. Trying not to let it stress me out, I focused on my conversation with Mike.

"I know, when we spoke earlier this week, I told you Makenna had taken care of most of the details surrounding her interment. Honestly, short of signing some papers at the funeral home and speaking with her attorney about the estate details, she didn't leave much for you to do."

I nodded, "Yes, Mr. Crawley at the funeral home has even taken care of the obituary. He said there was a note in her file that detailed how she wanted it to read. I'd like to find a copy of the paper to have for myself." Leaning forward, I rested my elbows on my knees, placing my chin on my folded hands. "I still can't believe she's gone. This entire week has been almost surreal. When we pulled in the driveway, I kept waiting for her to run out to greet me like she always has."

"It's never easy to lose a family member, and Makenna was more than just your grandmother. She lived a long, full life, though, Carlisle, and she lived it by her own rules. She and I had many spirited debates over the years. While Makenna had a strong faith, she didn't blindly accept the commonly held edicts that came with it. She never questioned God, only the way people attempted to interpret His Word." Mike chuckled, "She also never hesitated to tell people when they were wrong, either, especially when it came to their stance on homosexuality."

I smiled at the memory of Nan's unwavering acceptance and love when I'd told her I was gay. She'd made it clear that the only thing that mattered was that I find someone I loved, who equally loved me back. She'd welcomed the few men I'd considered worth introducing to her over the years, but she'd truly loved Edward from the first time they met. I blinked away the tears that clouded my eyes, wishing, not for the first time, that she could've seen us together again before she'd died.

Mike allowed me time and quiet to remember, until the stillness was broken by the sound of the front door opening. Edward looked frazzled, but determined. Things with Seth had obviously not gone well. He smiled at me, the warmth not quite reaching his eyes, then joined me again on the sofa. He wrapped his hand around mine before apologizing to Mike again for having to step away.

"It's fine, Edward. There really wasn't a lot to go over. The most important thing you two need to worry about is what you want to say at the memorial service." Mike stood then, extending his hand. "I'm going to get out of your way so you can unwind; I'm sure you're both exhausted after your trip. If you need me, don't hesitate to call. I'll meet you at the funeral home on Monday, an hour before the service."

Edward and I both stood, shaking his hand before I escorted him to the front door. When he stepped outside, I called after him.

"Mike, wait a minute." He paused on the walkway, waiting for me to join him.

"Yes, Carlisle?"

"I have to ask, and you're in no way obligated to answer, but after something you said earlier, I'm curious to know why."

"Why what, son?"

"In the two and a half years that you've been Nan's pastor, you've only ever shown acceptance for Edward and me. I'd always thought it was because of your friendship with her, but even since she's passed, you've still been nothing but open and kind. I'm just wondering why, when so many others in your position are unable to look past what we are and see who we are."

Mike smiled, the flicker of a long past memory suddenly recalled glinting in his eyes. "You can thank your grandmother for that. Let's just say, she had a rather persuasive argument, bound in faith; that I couldn't refute. Makenna made me rethink my views, and I'd like to think I'm a better spiritual leader because of it. Wait until Monday; you'll have a clearer understanding then."

I accepted his answer with a silent nod, waiting until after he pulled out of the driveway to return back inside. He'd left me with a lot to think about, but I couldn't focus on that at the moment. Seth had said something that hurt Edward; I could see it when he walked back inside. I needed to console him before I worried about anything else.

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><p><em><strong>Will be interesting to see what Makenna had to say that swayed Pastor Mike. <strong>_

_**In case you missed it, I added a little Valentine's out-take to my Toys4Tots one shot, Will You Drive My Sleight Tonight. You can find the story on my profile. **_


	52. Chapter 52

_**I know; no update yesterday. Honestly, I was so frustrated with FF's fuckery lately, that I didn't have the mental strength to do it. The boys are back now, though. **_

_**The usual still applies—no beta, Carlisle and Edward belong to SM, the story is all mine, and the boys own my heart. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Two<strong>

**CPOV  
><strong>

Closing the front door behind me, I looked, but found no signs of Edward in the living room. I wandered into the kitchen, thinking he might be there starting dinner, but the room was also quiet. In the stillness, I heard the sound of running water coming from outside. Walking over toward the sink, I peered out the wide bay window that looked out over the backyard.

Nan's backyard was a riot of flowerbeds, shrubbery, and trees with meandering paths running through it. Small sitting areas had been created in strategic locations, designed for privacy, introspection, and serenity. Growing up, my favorite had been a stone bench sheltered under the flowing branches of an enormous weeping willow.

Edward stood near a bed of annuals, the watering hose in his hand, spraying a gentle mist across the vibrant blooms. An unnecessary action, given the sprinkler system Nan had installed, but I recognized it for the soothing action it was. I'd certainly done it enough times myself over the years, when I needed quiet to settle something in my mind. He looked pensive, consumed by whatever thoughts were running through his mind. I knew, without a doubt, that his conversation with Seth played over and over in his mind.

I went to him. How could I not? Inadvertently, I'd been the reason for his rift with his best friend. Until we were back in Chicago, I had no hopes of making things right. Even then, I didn't know if I'd be able to—but I'd do whatever it took to convince Seth that I'd changed. For the moment, though, I wanted to offer Edward whatever comfort I could.

Stepping outside, I breathed in the dry, hot, early evening air. The redolent fragrance from the myriad blooms wafted around me, filling my senses with the familiar smells of my childhood. The garden had always been my sanctuary. I'd grieved for my parents there, hiding my tears from Nan under the gently waving fronds of the willow. On the rare occasion that Nan punished me, I'd hidden in one of the many secluded sitting areas, confessing my sins to the garden gnomes and statuary that hid among the greenery. It had been on a bench under the rose arbor that I'd come to terms with my sexuality, and the wrought iron patio set had born witness to my coming out to the only person who'd truly mattered in my life. _Until Edward._

On silent feet, I walked up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my chin on his shoulder. Folding his free hand over top of where mine rested on his abdomen, he leaned into me. Without words, I held him close, offering him my unconditional love and support. Turning off the valve on the hose, Edward let it fall to the damp cobblestones, before once again resting his hands on mine. Twilight descended, the gloaming shadows slowly enveloping the expansive yard, and still I held him, waiting for him to confide in me.

"Seth is furious," he sighed, staring off into the depths of the garden.

"I'm not surprised," I murmured, tightening my arms around him. "He's your best friend; he doesn't want to see you hurt again. Until Seth knows I've accepted my part in everything that happened between us, he's going to worry. Even though it bothers me that he doesn't trust your judgment, I admire his loyalty."

Edward turned in my arms to face me, his anguish apparent in his eyes. My hands traced soothing circles on his back, allowing him time to mull out his thoughts. He curled one hand around the nape of my neck, the other resting over my heart. Resting his head on my shoulder, he breathed deeply, the tension in his shoulders easing.

"It doesn't matter. I love you, Car." His lips teased along the sinews in my neck, the moist heat left in their wake cooling in the evening breeze. I shivered at the sensation. Edward leaned back to look into my eyes. "I told him not to make me choose, because if he does, I choose you. Always. You're my home, my heart."

"I don't deserve you, Edward. I probably never will, but I love you with everything I have." Moving my hand to the back of his head, I drew him closer, covering his lips with mine.

I'd never felt more loved, or more unworthy of it, in my life. No words could ever convey my humility at his simple declaration, so I poured all I had into a kiss, hoping it would be enough. If it took the rest of my life, I'd devote every day I had left to prove how much I loved him.

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><p><em><strong>Oh, Carlisle. <strong>_


	53. Chapter 53

_***FAINTS* I realized earlier this evening that the story had neared 700 reviews, which it has now made. I can't ever thank y'all enough for taking this journey with me. **_

_**As always, no beta, SM owns their names, I created their story, and they own my heart.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Three<strong>

**CPOV**

With murmured words and reassuring kisses, we each offered what the other needed—a supportive partner. The rasping chirp of crickets filled the air, the gentle flickering glow of fireflies dancing around us while we wrapped ourselves in each other. It wasn't until the automatic porch lights clicked on that we realized full darkness had descended. Edward looked around, surprise registering on his face.

"Shit, Carlisle! Didn't you need to go to the funeral home?" he asked concern in his voice. "It's got to be nearing nine o'clock by now."

"I can go in the morning, its fine. I'm just dropping off Nan's clothes and signing some paperwork," I soothed, content to stand there for a few more hours.

"Okay, if you're sure." he paused, dropping his hand from my chest to twine our fingers together. "Then, how about we heat up Maggie's casserole and just relax for awhile."

Agreeing with his suggestions, I followed Edward back into kitchen, helping get everything together for dinner. Given the hour, we opted to reheat individual servings of the casserole in the microwave, rather than wait on the oven. While Edward prepared the plates, I opened a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Within minutes, we were settled at the table next to each other. Our feet tangled together underneath, neither of us wanting to give up even the smallest physical contact. Steering clear of talking about the situation with Seth, we shared more memories of our visits with Nan. When Edward asked for more stories about being raised by my grandmother; I gladly shared more of the many I had tucked away.

Once the kitchen had been put back in order, we took our wineglasses into the living room. Turning on the stereo, I smiled when Andrea Bocelli's vibrant Italian tenor filled the room. After adjusting the volume, I settled into Nan's plump sofa, resting my feet on the ottoman with a sigh. Edward sank down next to me, cushioning his head on my thigh, his crossed ankles resting on the bolster at the other end. Looking under the coffee table, he spied the photo albums Nan kept there.

Even though she'd pulled them out the first time he came home with me, he reached for the one laying on the top of the pile. While he aimlessly flipped the pages, I answered questions about pictures that caught his interest. My fingers combed through his hair, enjoying the simple pleasure of the silken strands teasing across my skin. The pages turned slower, the questions came further apart, until Edward drifted off to sleep.

Reluctant to disturb him, I continued to stroke his hair, the pads of my fingers gently massaging his scalp each time I started a new pass through the wavy tendrils. The soft lamplight played across Edward's face, a contrast of shadows and light that only enhanced the dormant masculine strength of his features. Thick, dark brown lashes framed his patrician nose, accentuating the austere lines of his cheekbones. Only his deep rose lips saved him from appearing unapproachable, their fullness begging to be kissed—an offer I found myself unable to refuse.

Leaning down, I brushed my lips across his, rewarded with a soft sigh. His eyes remained closed, his chest rising and falling in deep, even breaths. A slow warmth moved through me, my heart almost aching with the emotions that being with Edward evoked. Teasing the sensuous curve at the edge of his mouth, I kissed him again, then repeated the action on the other side. I felt his lips turn, a smile lifting the corners. His eyelids fluttered, then opened, revealing the vibrant emerald eyes that had caught my attention from the first moment we were introduced.

"Hey," I whispered.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep." Edward reached up, pushing my hair away from my forehead. "It's so peaceful being here, being with you."

Turning on his side, he rested his elbow between my legs and pushed himself up. I curled my hand around his waist to support him while he studied my face. His hand slid along my jaw, the rough hair scratching across his palm. When he reached the curve of my jaw, he focused his attention on tracing the curve of my ear. I shivered at the sensation. Suddenly, he ducked his head, stifling a yawn against the back of his other hand.

"I'm not surprised you're tired; you drove most of today. I know I'm ready for bed. Join me?" I asked, my fingers teasing the sliver of skin between his shirt and jeans.

"That's an offer I'll never turn down," he replied, rolling off the sofa in one fluid movement, then extending his hand to help me up.

While I checked the locks on the front door, he turned off the stereo and lights, only leaving on the small lamp Nan kept on a console at the base of the stairs. Meeting him there, I led the way up to our room.

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><p><em><strong>Why is it I can almost hear y'all chanting for a bit of citrus? <strong>_


	54. Chapter 54

_**A little later than usual, but an update, nonetheless. I claim distractions by two of the lovely ladies I beta for, Mrs. Agget and twistedfortwilight. If you aren't reading their stories, check them out. Both are quite talented. **_

_**Blah blah blah—Stephenie Meyer—blah blah—boys aren't mine—blah blah—beta, what beta?. You get the idea. **_

* * *

><p><em><em>**Chapter Fifty-Four**

**CPOV**

After I'd moved away to college, Nan had remodeled the upstairs of the house, giving up the fourth bedroom to create two master suites, complete with bathrooms in each. Using strong, clean lines, she'd redecorated my room, replacing the outdated furniture of my youth with a Mission style king-sized bed, matching bureaus, and nightstands. The honey pine furnishings were accented by geometric chocolate and turquoise linens and bedding, giving the room a masculine, but peaceful feel. A small seating area, containing a chocolate leather chaise, Mission end table, and matching bookcase tied the room together, creating a sanctuary for me whenever I'd come home to visit. Edward had appreciated the look so much; he'd emulated it in our bedroom after we bought the condo.

I'd taken care of emptying the suitcases earlier, putting away the clothing we'd brought with us and placing our toiletries in the bathroom, before stashing the cases in the closet. It'd been surreal to see Edward's clothes lying next to mine in the dresser, co-mingling in the closet, but it felt…right. Entering the bedroom, I walked across to the dresser on the opposite side, pausing when I realized Edward was no longer behind me. I turned to find him standing near the door, looking around with a bemused expression.

"What's wrong, baby?" I opened the drawer, pulling out a pair of sleep pants.

"I'm just wondering where my suitcase is. Unless you didn't intend—" His voice drifted off, leaving the unfinished thought hanging in the air between us.

"What? No!" I jerked my head up to look at him. "Of course not. I already unpacked for us, but if…I mean, unless you'd prefer—" I found myself unable to continue, swallowing against the choking lump in my throat. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made assumptions, I just thought…after yesterday—" I looked away, nervously fiddling with the small pile of his clothes next to mine.

Edward crossed the room quickly, circling his arms around my waist. "I want to be wherever you are," he whispered into my neck. "I meant what I said last night, Carlisle. Never again will I be away from you if I have any choice in the matter."

Releasing the breath I'd been holding, I rested my hand on top of his sleep pants.

"Then, do we need these?"

"Not if I have any say in the matter," he repeated, before nipping the skin under his mouth. "Put them away and come to bed."

I shivered in response, shoving my clothes back in the drawer. Turning around, my fingers found the buttons on Edward's polo, working them through the holes before pulling it over his head. He did the same with mine, then captured my lips, the slow deep kiss sending waves of desire through me that had my toes curling into the hardwood floor. My hands ghosted over his flexed biceps, entranced by the latent strength in arms that had offered comfort and calming reassurance. The gentle brush of his fingers across my stomach had my muscles flinching in response. He unfastened my slacks, the dragging sensation of the zipper across my growing erection eliciting a desperate moan. Sliding his hands into the open flaps, he followed the elastic waistband of my briefs to my ass, pulling me to him.

Releasing my mouth, Edward nipped at my jaw, pulling his teeth across the scruff that shadowed it. My head fell back, lost in his sensual reverence, unable to form a focused thought. With seeking fingers, I traced his spine, groaning when my passage was slowed by the feel of rough denim under them. I eased around the edge of the fabric, smirking at his startled jump when I hit a ticklish spot on his waist.

"No tickling," he growled against my throat.

I stroked the spot again, laughing when he pulled away.

"Not fair, babe," he gasped with a suppressed laugh.

"It wasn't meant to be. Thought we were going to bed?" I asked, my eyebrow lifting to punctuate the question.

"I was working on it," he grumbled. "I never said anything about sleep."

I tugged the worn button fly on his jeans, popping them all open at once. "True, you didn't." I shoved the denim down his legs. "But, we both need sleep; it's been a long fucking day."

I stepped back, bending over to pull my pants off, then helped him step out of his jeans. Picking up both pairs, I dropped them in the hamper next to the dresser. Returning upright, I saw him stifle another yawn, his eyes fighting to stay open.

"That settles it. It's bed time. You're exhausted, Edward." I touched the dark shadows under his eyes. "Please, let me take care of you."

He opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by yet another yawn. I steered him to the bed, lifting the covers to let him climb underneath, before crawling in on the other side to join him. Rolling on to my side to face him, I pulled him back to spoon against my body. Curling around him, our legs tangled together, I rested my hand over his heart.

"I love you," I whispered, my heart swelling when he repeated it.

His breathing gradually slowed; sleep overcoming him when he relaxed against me. I matched my breaths to his, the soothing rhythm of his heartbeats lulling me to sleep, too.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Yeah, I know—I'm a cockblocking witch. Maybe I'll rectify it when they wake up. Stay tuned…<strong>_


	55. Chapter 55

_**Sorry for the missed updates. We had a minor household accident on Monday and my new laptop arrived. I've successfully moved all the important stuff to my new lifeline and I absolutely love it! **_

_**All the usual warnings and disclaimers apply—Stephenie owns them, they own me, and I'm too impatient to use a beta with this story. You get it raw and uncut. (Every porn and smut inference totally intended.)**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Five<strong>

**CPOV**

Slowly drifting toward consciousness, I lay with my eyes closed, taking in the sensations that encompassed me. A solid wall pressed against my back, a heavy weight pinning my leg to the bed. A strong, muscular arm circled my waist, long, tapered fingers resting low on my stomach. Snuggling back into the comforting warmth, I breathed in the familiar spicy scent that surrounded my autumn-hued lover. I felt the blankets shift, followed by the firm pressure of Edward's burgeoning erection against my ass. My breathing hitched; my body responded.

His measured even breaths on my neck had the hair standing on end, sending currents of electricity through my body, all careening to center in my throbbing cock. Apparently one part of my body was already fully awake and ready to take on the day. Easing my hips forward, I tried to slip out of the bed, only to have Edward's arm tighten around me.

"Stay," he implored his voice gruff with sleep. "We have time; lay with me a little longer."

Relaxing, I sunk back into him, unable to avoid my erection brushing against the back his hand. The errant touch ripped a strangled moan from my chest. I was so hard, it bordered on painful. When Edward's fingers combed through the trimmed curls, inching closer to the base of my shaft, I grabbed his wrist to stop him. One touch would be all it took. One touch and I'd embarrass myself, coming faster than a horny teenager watching his first porn.

"Give me a minute," I gasped, my voice thick, laden with unbridled lust. "I… just… wait." Stuttering, I tried to explain myself.

Edward's hand stilled, redolent heat from his skin searing mine, the proximity of his fingers a tempting incentive to encourage him. While he stopped moving his hand, his mouth had become a bigger distraction. Lips, teeth, tongue – all teased and tasted – my neck, my ear, my shoulder. Tilting my head, I gave into the sensations he evoked.

"Not…not…helping," I stammered, my bones turning to jelly.

"I could help a lot more if you'd roll over," he whispered, using his body to press mine flat. Heavy lidded, his eyes still sleepy, Edward leaned over me, a wicked smile curving his lips. "Good morning, love."

Skimming over the firm, corded muscles of his arm, I felt him quiver under my touch. Reaching his shoulder, I teased the pads of my fingers along his collarbone, then up his neck. When I reached his cheek, he leaned into my palm. Grazing my thumb across the fullness of his bottom lip, I gasped when Edward pulled it between his lips, vigorously sucking on it. My breathing accelerated at the erotic sight of my moistened skin sliding between his slick lips. The covers fell away when he shifted position, the morning sun creating an intricate pattern of light and shadows across the beauty of his naked form. Edward's leg slipped between mine, steel and sinew creating the friction we both craved. Rocking into his sliding body, I studied the play of emotions across his face.

Desire.

Want.

_Love_. Love outweighed them all.

Drawing my thumb from his moist heat, I claimed his mouth, my hands cupping his ass, encouraging him to press harder. Our tongues touched, retreated, swirled, remembered. Breathless, he pulled away.

"Nightstand?" he murmured, leaning to find what we needed when I nodded.

Edward's hand encircled me, caressing my length with languid strokes, his other hand fondling the tightly drawn sac underneath. My eyes drifted shut, waiting for the familiar tingling burn of his lubed finger entering me. Instead, I was enveloped by cool latex being rolled down my cock. My eyes flew open, meeting Edward's, his gaze intent while he prepared himself. Positioning himself across my hips, he steadied himself on my bent knee. Taking hold of my shaft, I helped guide myself to his opening, breathy sighs escaping us both when I penetrated the outer ring of muscle. Huffing, he spread his knees further, opening himself up to me more. I reached for his free hand, pulling it to my shoulder to help him leverage his body over mine.

My heart stopped while Edward slid down me, a breathless eternity of consuming passion that locked out the rest of the world. Once he'd nestled himself snugly against the welcoming cradle of my groin, he leaned forward to kiss me. Still overwhelmed by his gift of having me top, I whispered the only words I could think of before he stole my breath away.

"Thank you."

For trusting me. For giving himself to me. But most of all, for loving me.

Edward rolled his hips, lifting and lowering himself in time with my answering thrusts. Together we brought ourselves closer to the edge, before backing off, only to rebuild the coiling flames higher once again. Ebbing and flowing, the drowning waves rolled over us. Gripping his hips, I watched through the sheltering web of my matted lashes as he stroked himself.

Slide.

Stroke.

Twist.

Again.

Until, with a convulsive shudder, he arched his back, releasing thick, milky streams across us both. Burying myself in the clenching heat, I let go of the thin grasp I had on my control, shouting his name while I filled him.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I need a nap, a drink, and a cigarette—not necessarily in that order. <strong>_


	56. Chapter 56

_**All the usual warnings still apply. **_

_**This was, without a doubt, the hardest chapter I've written for this story. It's also the longest one to date. Most likely, tissues will be needed. *sets boxes on the counter***_

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><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Six<strong>

**CPOV**

Pressing his hand into the mattress next to my head to support his weight, Edward leaned forward to nestle his head into the crook of my neck. Heavy breathing filled the air, both of us still trembling from the sensual overload of our orgasms. I reached between us, gripping the base of my still tumescent cock, while Edward eased himself away to curl into my side. Removing the condom, I tied it off and dropped it into the waste basket next to the nightstand, before rolling to pull him back across my chest. Melded together, we basked in the afterglow, our hands still skating over flushed skin, contentment seeping into every pore. It wasn't until Edward shifted to offer me a kiss, pulling the sticky hairs on our abdomens, that we made a shower a priority.

Once we're dressed, with a pot of coffee brewing, we searched the pantry, finding pancake mix. While Edward tended to frying bacon, I found the frozen blueberries Nan kept stashed in the back of the freezer and whipped up a batch of batter. Working together, we were soon situated at the table with plates piled high with food.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" Edward asked, taking a sip out of his cup.

"Honestly? The only thing that I have to do is go to the funeral home. I talked to the caterers yesterday, everything there is all taken care of," I answered distractedly, entranced by the sight of his tongue slipping against the corner of his lips to catch a bead of syrup. Lost in the sensuality of such a simple gesture, I missed Edward's next question. Blinking to break my focus, I asked him to repeat it.

He smirked, "I asked if you wanted me to go with you. If not, you can take off right after you're done eating and I'll stay here and clean up."

"Are you sure? I Think I can handle the funeral home alone today. I won't be viewing Nan until right before the service tomorrow. I'll make it quick, and if you make a list while I'm gone, we could run to the grocery store after I get back."

"Sounds perfect." Edward stood, leaning over to give me a quick kiss before clearing his plate. "And this afternoon, we're going to need to work on our pieces for the funeral." He started rinsing the dishes, loading them in the dishwasher.

Swallowing the last bite, I carried my plate and cup over, setting them on the counter before resting my head on his shoulder. "Do you mind taking a minute to help me get Nan's things together?"

"Of course, babe."

He grabbed a towel to dry his hands, then followed me up the stairs. Entering Nan's room proved harder than I thought it would be. The celery-colored room looked like a magazine display for Shabby Chic décor; bringing my grandmother's love of gardening into her home. The white scrolled iron headboard and distressed whitewash furniture had been accented with floral chintz and matching bold plaid prints. The wooden slat blinds had been left open, allowing the late morning sun to filter in. Several wilted floral arrangements dotted the room, the flowers cut from Nan's own gardens. The lingering scent of _White Shoulders_ remained, sparking memories of the many times she'd pulled me close for a hug when I'd needed her, and often even when I didn't.

Dashing a tear from my cheek, I walked over to the walk-in closet. I found the switch, filling the space with light. Edward held me while I flipped through the rack, trying to find the blue suit she'd mentioned in the letter she'd left with Mike. Near the back of the closet, I found a garment bag with an envelope bearing my name attached to the front of it.

"I have a feeling that's it," Edward whispered, his tone reverential.

He reached for the hanger, pulling the envelope free to hand to me. Unable to function, I allowed Edward to lead me out to the seating area, sinking onto the chintz covered chaise. I watched him walk over to the bed, to lay the bag down. He unzipped the bag, removing the outfit inside – a robin's egg blue sheath with matching duster jacket. I'd only ever seen her wear it once, when Edward and I took her to dinner in Chicago right after we bought the condo. I nodded in acknowledgment, a lump in my throat.

My gaze dropped to the long envelope in my hand, studying my grandmother's familiar sprawling script. Giving me a moment to myself, Edward busied himself putting the dress back in the garment bag, before coming to join me. He rested a comforting hand on my leg, offering me his strength. My hand shook while I gingerly lifted the flap to extract the single piece of folded stationery from inside. Clearing my throat, I began to read aloud a letter that had been dated almost a year earlier.

.

.

.

_September 25__th_

_Carlisle-_

_My wonderful grandson, if you're reading this, I miss you already. Hopefully, too, it will be many years after I've written this letter. I'm sure you're overwhelmed right about now; it's why I took the liberty of making sure everything for my passing was prearranged. Hopefully, you've already talked to Pastor Mike. If not, he has all the instructions for my service. _

_Darling, I hope you understand why I already made plans. I didn't want you to have to worry about details at a time like this. After having unexpectedly buried your parents, I never wanted to leave someone else to do the dirty work, so to speak. I'm not a young woman anymore and I wanted to get things out of the way. _

_I also hope you aren't alone while reading this. It's my fervent wish that by the time you see this letter, I will have had the honor of seeing you happily married to a man who will love you the way you deserve, possibly with a child or two. I'd love nothing more for that man to be Edward. Not since I watched your mother walk down the aisle to meet your father at the altar, have I seen any couple look at each other with the obvious love and affection that you share. _

_Never, ever forget that I love you with all my heart. The day you came to live with me gave me a new purpose and not once did I regret becoming your surrogate mother. Thank you for the joy you brought to my life. Stay true to who you are, my dear, and never compromise that to conform to the narrow-minded views of a society that refuses to see that love knows no gender. _

_Love, Nan _

_._

_._

_._

By the time I made it to the middle of the letter, I struggled to decipher the words through the steady stream of tears. Edward took the paper from my hand, drawing me with him when he reclined against the angled back of the chaise. He finished reading it for me, his own voice choking with emotion when he read the part about us. Reaching the end, he paused to wipe his eyes, before he refolded the letter and slid it back in the envelope. Then, wrapping his arms around my shaking body, he held me until I'd cried myself out.

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><p><em><strong>Thank you all, for all the love and reviews. I hope each and every one of you has someone like Nan in your life-someone who loves you without limits. <strong>_


	57. Chapter 57

_**Despite FFN's efforts to the contrary, I received all of your reviews last chapter. I should probably feel bad for making everyone cry, but since I did while writing it, it seemed only fair you join me. Fair warning—I bawled this chapter, too. **_

_**This chapter was actually beta'd – mostly 'cause I was crying too hard to see the screen on the laptop. Thanks and love to nails233 for battling back her own tears to help me out - love you, Chel. **_

_**All the usual warnings and disclaimers apply. **_

_**SONGLIST**_

_**Come Home by One Republic w/ Sarah Bareilles**_

_**Hope and Faith by My Lady Four**_

_**The Heart Never Forgets by Leanne Rimes**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Seven<strong>

**EPOV**

I lay with Carlisle until his tears subsided. Once he calmed down, I settled him on the chaise and walked into Makenna's bathroom. The spacious room was dominated by a claw-footed soaking tub nestled under a bay window. The same country charm from her bedroom had been carried over into the bathroom, with delicate florals and distressed décor gracing the simple white walls.

Finding a washcloth, I wet it with cold water, then returned to him. Settling the cloth over his eyes, I kissed him on the forehead, before sitting back down. Carlisle rested his head on my thigh, reaching for my hand. With my other hand, I smoothed his blond waves away from his brow, while I tried to find the right words. How do you convey the sheer wonder of someone like Makenna Charles? Ever since Mike mentioned speaking at her funeral, I'd struggled to find a way to express the depth of my feelings for her. Lost, I offered him the only thing I could think of.

"Your grandmother was an incredible woman," I murmured, humbled by what she'd written about me. "I'm honored to have known her, to have been a part of her life."

He squeezed my hand, his breath hitching, while his free hand pressed the cloth against his face. In wordless silence I comforted him, the still of the room broken only by the cacophony of birdsong from the garden. The faint sounds of the cuckoo clock drifted through the house, a subtle reprimand that things still needed to be done. Releasing a deep sigh, Carlisle pushed himself up to sit next to me. He balled the washcloth in his fist, pounding it on his knee, before he stood. Walking over to the bed, his hand hesitated over the garment bag. I could almost see his thoughts – if he picked it up, everything became all too real.

_FUCK!_ I hated that there wasn't anything I could do to make this easier on him. Carlisle's hand shook when he grasped the hanger, lifting the bag to drape it carefully over his arm. I met him at the door, brushing a kiss across his lips.

"I'll meet you downstairs," I offered, thinking to give him a moment alone.

He gripped my arm, stopping me. "No, stay."

Carlisle looked around one more time, committing the room to memory, then whispered goodbye, before quietly pulling the door shut behind us. Wrapping his free arm around my waist, we walked down the stairs side by side. It was then I noticed the picture that had been added to Makenna's Wall of Shame on the landing.

It had been taken last summer, when Carlisle and I had travelled to Napa Valley for a week. On one of our tours, we'd paused for a picnic. The vineyard had an ivy-covered gazebo near the grape runs. Passing on the shelter of the elegant, open-air structure, we'd spread a blanket on the ground in the shade next to it. I'd been lounging on my side, elbow bent, my head resting on my hand. He had sprawled out, his head resting against my stomach, his body stretched out perpendicular to mine. While I couldn't remember exactly what we were talking about, at the moment the picture was snapped, I'd been looking down at him with a bright smile, while he stared up at me, his face awash with laughter. I saw in the picture what Makenna mentioned in her letter – the obvious love we shared.

We'd been unaware of the young woman walking by with the camera. She worked in their offices and had been tasked with redesigning their website. Wanting to update the pictures, she'd headed outside to look for new shots, when she happened upon us. Apologizing for intruding, she asked if we would be willing to sign a release for them to use the picture. We both agreed, and a few weeks after we'd returned home to Chicago, a package had arrived with two eight-by-ten copies of the photograph. I'd liked it so much I'd sent the second one to Makenna. I knew, though, it hadn't been hanging up when we came to visit at Christmastime. Yet, there it was, in a silver frame, the word 'LOVE' engraved across the bottom.

"I remember that day," Carlisle said, when he saw what had caught my interest, "but I didn't know Nan had a copy."

"Yeah, I sent it to her after we received them from the vineyard." My voice cracked, knowing, without a doubt, that she'd placed the picture there after I'd left Carlisle. Makenna had known, with her unwavering faith, that I'd eventually come home.

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><p><em><strong>Ahh, that Nan. <strong>_


	58. Chapter 58

_**When I first started writing this story, Nan (Makenna) was intended to be more of an incidental feature, rather than the integral part she began to take on. I'm grateful for her insistence, from the grave, to be included. She's rounded the edges in ways I would have never expected before we got to know what an incredibly special woman she was. **_

_**All the usual warnings and disclaimers are still in place.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Eight<strong>

**EPOV**

I managed to hold myself together for Carlisle's sake until he pulled out of the driveway. Returning to the quiet house, I sank on to the sofa, allowing the grief I'd contained to bubble to the surface. I questioned the fairness of it all, railing at a God who would remove someone like Makenna from the world, while leaving so many who did nothing but breed hate and discontent. Giving up on trying to stem the flow of tears, I let them fall unchecked, while I pounded my fist into the throw pillow.

It wasn't until I began to hyperventilate that I forced myself to get my emotions back in check. Trying to find a focal point while I stilled my breathing, I stared at a blurred figurine on Makenna's desk in the corner. When my chest stopped heaving and I began to breathe at a more natural rate, I dragged my sleeve across my eyes to clear my vision. Once I could see clearly again, I refocused my attention on the sculpture, realizing why it had drawn my attention.

The eighteen inch tall, swirling, modern sculpture was decidedly out of place in Makenna's very country, very feminine living room. Forgetting my grief for a moment, I walked over to the desk, drawn to the exquisite statue. Picking it up, I noticed an envelope underneath, my name scrawled across the front. I pulled out the desk chair and removed the empty box that rested on the seat, before sitting down. Distracted by the unexpected find, I set the sculpture aside and picked up the envelope, turning it over to look for any other marks on it. Nothing, just my name.

The envelope hadn't been sealed, the flap simply tucked into the back. Biting my lip, I debated for half a second, before giving into temptation. I withdrew the folded sheet of paper, opening it to find a letter addressed to me. Leaning back in the chair, Makenna's melodic voice filled my head, as if she were talking to me while I read.

.

.

.

_Edward, _

_After our recent conversation about modern art, I took your advice to broaden my horizons, and visited a small local gallery that just opened. You'll be pleased to know, that I now willingly accept your assertion that, even in modern art, there is something that appeals to everyone. Ironically, the item that appealed to me most, I'm now sending to you. _

_I know I said that I wouldn't interfere, but I'm now reneging on my decision. Indulge an old woman, if you will. _

_When I saw this sculpture, images of you and Carlisle were immediately brought to mind. Well, maybe not quite in the context of the sculpture, but nonetheless, I was reminded of the two of you together. Notice the independent strength in each swirl? They are equal in every way – height, shape, even the way they curve. They've grown from the same sturdy foundation, pulled apart, yet still have points of connection where the two curves are pressed together in the middle, and where the two smaller curves on each reaches out to encircle the opposing larger curve. Their true strength occurs when they are together – just like you and my grandson._

_I've kept my peace for six months. Six months in which neither of you has let go, nor been able to move on. You're both stuck and too proud to do anything about it, so now it's time for this concerned grandmother to give you a push. _

_While I may not know all the details of what happened, I'm old enough to know that neither party is ever completely blameless in a break-up. I'm also pretty damn observant, and the signs were there when I paid attention. Carlisle works too hard, and forgets to put you first. He's very much like his grandfather in that regard. Now, before you gloat, thinking that you've been vindicated; I also know that you avoid confrontations, and will bury your feelings, rather than deal with a situation that troubles you. And in that, I see a much younger me, who married young and came from a family where strong emotions were not expressed openly._

_The result? A partner who feels unwanted finally decides he's had enough. But, being afraid of confrontations, rather than talk it out, he leaves. How close to right am I now? And how do I know? I know, because once upon a time, I had been the walkaway spouse. _

_Alistair, Carlisle's grandfather, worked long hours, often coming home well after the dinner I'd cooked had been ruined, and I'd gone to bed alone, feeling unwanted. Being an impulsive young woman, I decided to leave, thinking that would teach him a lesson. My parents wouldn't get involved in our marital problems and refused to let me come home. It was my grandmother who offered me refuge and a shoulder to cry on. _

_I must say, though. I have greater perseverance. She only lasted three days before she pointed out the flaws in my thinking. Telling me if I wanted my marriage, I needed to go fight for it; she packed me up and sent me back to my husband. Things were very tense between Alistair and me for a few weeks after I returned, until I finally exploded and demanded that he hear me, that he _SEE _me. It wasn't a magic wand that miraculously fixed everything, but it taught us that we needed to listen to one another, to really hear what we were saying in our actions, not just our words. _

_So, now you're wondering why you're getting the push, and not Carlisle. It's simple – you're the one who left. Also, I know you're man enough to look at things and see where you may have been wrong. It only takes one person to start an apology, my dear boy, but once you do, I believe you'll find the right words to say to show Carlisle why you had to leave. I also believe he's finally willing to listen and accept his own fault. _

_I heard an expression a few years ago, that reminds me of the two of you. _

"_I don't love you because I need you, I need you because I love you."_

_Like the sculpture, you are both strong, independent men. But the love you share, your interdependence, makes you so much more together than you could ever be apart. _

_It's time, Edward. Go home to your heart. _

_Forever yours, too – Nan _

_.  
><em>

_P.S The name of the sculpture is _Stay_. Take it for what it's worth._

.

.

.

Letting the letter slip from my fingers, I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head in wonder. It had only been two weeks ago that we'd had that discussion about modern art, when Makenna – Nan – had complained about the ugly modern sculptures she'd seen at an exhibit at the university. Knowing I shouldn't, I scrabbled through the papers on the desk, until I found the receipt for the sculpture. It had been purchased eight days earlier, three days before she died.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Every once in a great while; the coincidental things in life take on a much deeper, more pertinent, meaning for a reason. <strong>_


	59. Chapter 59

_**I'm so glad most of you enjoyed the last chapter. I had a few questions about the statue – the statue does NOT exist, or at least not to my knowledge. It was merely something I created in my over-fertile imagination. My oldest daughter, a very talented artist, is going to try to draw it for me, though. If she does, I will be sure to link it for anyone who is interested. **_

_**All the same – no beta, SM owns them, they own me. The basic premise of a roadtrip for a funeral came from prassacut, the rest is all mine.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Fifty-Nine<strong>

**EPOV**

Still stunned by the unbelievable coincidence of Nan's letter and the results of our road trip, I picked up the sheet of paper and the sculpture, carrying both into the kitchen. Her choice to sign the letter 'Nan' instead of her given name that I'd always used; cleared up any lingering doubts I might have had about her feelings toward me.

Placing the letter on the table, I studied the intricate piece of art. The lines were clean, smooth; and the flow drew you to make your own interpretation of the subject matter. Created from cast bronze and brushed nickel, the angling curves lifted out of a swirled amalgam metal base to twine around each other. With reverent fingers, I traced the shapes, understanding what Nan had seen. The bronze represented me, the nickel, Carlisle. The bronze figure's 'arms' encircled the other around the neck and waist, the nickel 'arms' wrapped around the hip and shoulder.

Enthralled, I carefully placed it with the letter, then stepped back to look at it again from a distance, imbued with my new comprehension. The piece exuded a latent sensuality in its form, while evoking a feeling of constancy. The whole was beautiful in its transcendental simplicity, the implications leaving me breathless. I wondered if we appeared that way to everyone, or only Nan, who loved us with the unvarnished eye of someone who knew and understood our faults.

I turned to clean up the kitchen from breakfast, while I allowed the events of the morning to play through my mind. When I finished, I found the note pad and scanned the refrigerator, making a list of what we'd need for the next few days. Carlisle and I still hadn't discussed how long we'd need to stay. I was clear until Wednesday, but I also had a couple weeks of vacation time I could use. With it being summer, too, my liaison work with the Chicago Public School system wouldn't pick up for a couple more weeks, until they started planning fall field trips.

My degree in Art History from Northwestern had netted me a job working at the Field Museum after graduation. While I worked in Acquisitions, scheduling exhibits and special events, I'd volunteered for my liaison position. The arts were sadly neglected in schools, with a greater emphasis being put on "real" academics, a grievous error in my estimation. The arts offered so many tie-ins with traditional studies, enhancing and reinforcing curriculum through medias that were appealing to students. I'd managed to incorporate my passion for art with my desire to work with children in a way that benefitted us both.

Pulling out my phone, I shot a quick email to my assistant, knowing she wouldn't see it before the next morning. I let her know about my potential extension on my trip, asking her to please set up a conference call with the director for me on Tuesday afternoon, and to get back to me with the time. Once I'd taken care of that, I relaxed, knowing I'd done all that I could before the next day. Pulling a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, I walked back over to the table and settled down to re-read Nan's letter.

There were less tears the second time through, and I even chuckled out loud at the thought of a younger Nan standing up to Alistair. She barely broke five foot two in her stocking feet, but from pictures I had seen of Carlisle's grandfather, he'd been easily six feet tall. While Carlisle had no memories of his grandfather, Nan had been more than willing to share hers. He'd been stoic, business-minded, but according to her, had a soft heart for people in need. When Carlisle had wondered aloud if his grandfather would have loved him, she'd pshawed his musings with assurances that his love would have been unconditional, just like hers.

My thoughts were interrupted by the rattling of the front door knob. Thinking Carlisle had returned already, I walked to the archway that divided it from the kitchen to wait for him. But, instead of my partner's tall blond form entering the house, I was shocked to see Maggie opening the door. Her mouth gawped open and closed, looking like a hooked fish, while she struggled to speak. At the same time, we asked the same question.

"What are you doing here?"

Incredulous at her audacity, I lifted my eyebrow, before deciding to answer first. "Well, seeing as how this is my grandmother's house, and we're here for her funeral, I'd say I have a helluva lot more reason to be standing in her living room than you do. And, while you may have a key, if you didn't think we were home, what gave you the impression that you could just walk in?"

The gawping fish look returned, and I rolled my eyes. Getting an honest answer would probably take a miracle.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Ohhhhh shit…<strong>_


	60. Chapter 60

_**WOW y'all are a little too eager to see Maggie get what's coming to her. This chapter comes with a warning: the views expressed by Maggie in this chapter in NO WAY reflect my personal views (for those, look to anything you hear from Nan). **_

_**LH has broken 900 reviews! to say I'm speechless would be an understatement. I woke up this morning to over 50 reviews, and they continued to pour in all day, most of them from a new reader, who read and reviewed every chapter today. Thank you Ziva!  
><strong>_

_**All the usual—No beta, SM created the characters, I just took them on the road and helped them fall back in love.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty<strong>

**EPOV**

"But…The car…I saw…," Maggie stammered, her eyes flying toward the door.

"Hhmm, I find it even more interesting that you managed to notice the car wasn't here before you decided to drop by for a social call." I leaned against the wall, relishing her discomfort. Maybe I could get to the bottom of her animosity, too. "Now, let's try this again, shall we? What are you doing sneaking into our grandmother's house?"

My innocent choice of words had a greater impact than I'd intended. Maggie's face turned beet red, her eyes snapping with unconcealed fury, the veins in her neck bulging, while her jaw tensed. She looked, in a word, ridiculous. Unbidden, a memory from my childhood sprang to mind. My parents had been watching a comedy special featuring Bill Cosby. In it, he'd described his wife having a conniption. I imagined Maggie's appearance would be a pretty good facsimile. Unable to hold it in, I burst out laughing. The madder Maggie became, the harder I laughed, pushing her ire even more, until she finally snapped.

"You are NOT Makenna's grandson!" she exploded, hate tingeing every word. "They may not see you for what you are, but I know a gold digger when I see it. You left Carlisle, destroying that poor man's world. Then, the minute he called, and you smelled Makenna's money, you were real quick to jump back in bed with him."

My eyes widened in shock, unable to comprehend where the hell she'd concocted that idea from. It was laughable. While I didn't have near the income Carlisle did, I made a more than admirable salary. My parents were both from well-to do families, and had both received substantial inheritances when their parents passed away. While I'd made my own way, a trust fund had been established when I was born, with payouts on my twenty-first and twenty-fifth birthdays. The rest would be released on my thirtieth birthday. Suffice to say, I had my job because I enjoyed it, not because I needed the money. Maggie, however, misread my shock for guilt and began advancing on me.

"Hah! I knew it!" she crowed. "Makenna wouldn't hear one word against you, but I knew what you were." She poked a bony finger into my chest, then continued, "I'd planned to find proof to give Carlisle, but the facts speak for themselves. I'm sure you're at the root of her ridiculous plans for the house, too. Honestly, sell it and give everything to charity? Especially one of _those_ charities! It's a senseless waste, things will never change. There's a reason why people won't accept it; it's wrong! God's word says it's a sin!"

Maggie was all over the place, alternating between screaming and barely speaking above a whisper. I knew trying to interrupt would be a mistake, so I decided to let her run out of steam on her own. When she started again, I stifled a sigh, avoiding any outward sign of my annoyance in an effort not set her off even more.

"I told her she'd be making a mistake, that there were more worthwhile, more deserving charities to give her money to. She didn't listen to me; no one listens to me. I warned people she'd become incompetent, but they didn't want to hear it. You try to help people, to show them the light, but some people can't be helped…"

The word vomit was endless and almost unintelligible. I began to tune her out, only picking up on the occasional phrase. The one thing I did manage to glean from it all, though, was Maggie's latent animosity. She'd never come around through Nan's gentle persistence; she'd never changed. Carlisle held her affection as Makenna's grandson, but the two of us together would never receive her acceptance – not that we needed it. Thank God Nan never had to witness Maggie's duplicity. When I tried to speak, she screamed, he voice reverberating through the room.

"No! Don't you say a word! Once Carlisle knows the truth, he'll realize that people like you can never be trusted. Then he can finally be saved from that salacious lifestyle you've dragged him into." She paced the room in front of me. "That woman even managed to corrupt a good pastor with her misguided reasoning. She DARED to use Scriptures to justify your way of life!" She spit the words at me, then muttered to herself. "A Godly woman, led astray by her own grandson."

"ENOUGH!" My eyes snapped to the door where Carlisle stood, enraged, Pastor Mike right behind him.

"Carlisle, you don't understand –" Maggie turned to him, imploring him to listen. When Mike stepped around him, she fell silent, dropping her eyes to the floor.

"Oh, I think I understand plenty, Maggie. You were a false friend to my grandmother, despite the fact that she welcomed you into her home and heart. You feigned acceptance of me, and worst of all, you just stood here in my home and denigrated the man I love – a man who had my grandmother's blessing and who she accepted as if he were her own grandson." Throwing the door wide, he pointed to the front yard. "Now, I think it's time for you to leave. _Our kind_ does not associate with narrow-minded bigots."

"I believe you've outstayed your welcome, Maggie," Mike said, walking over to lead her to the door. "I warned you at the church that this wouldn't be tolerated."

Carlisle stopped them at the door. "I'll take the key back, please." He wrapped his fingers around the key when she dropped it in his open palm. "Despite your behavior today, you were my grandmother's friend. I will not prevent you from attending her funeral. Know this, though. If you make a scene like this tomorrow, I will not hesitate to have you thrown in jail. I will not have Nan's memory sullied by your hate-mongering filth."

The minute the door closed behind them, Carlisle crossed the room to wrap his arms around me. "Are you okay? I swear, baby, I had no idea that she felt that way, or I'd have never left you here alone."

"Sshh, love. I know you didn't. Who could have known? I'm honestly speechless." I rested my forehead against his. "How much did you hear?"

"More than enough, but I have a funny feeling I missed some." He brushed his lips across mine.

"Actually, you probably missed the part that made the whole situation completely laughable," I replied, rolling my eyes. "Truly, I don't even know if I can do her rant justice, it was so ridiculous. But, in a nutshell, I'm using you to get to Makenna's money."

Carlisle stared at me unblinking; waiting for the punch line to what I'm certain he thought was a joke. When he realized I was serious, he burst out laughing and I soon joined him.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I manage your portfolio! You have more money than you could ever hope to spend in one lifetime." Carlisle shook his head, still trying to get a grasp on what happened. "So let me get this straight. You're after me for my grandmother's money, you've enticed me to be gay against my wishes, and you seduced Nan to the dark side of acceptance – despite the fact that I've been out for fifteen years and I've only known you for three. Is that the gist of it?"

"Yep, pretty much. Oh, and of course, your grandmother baked the cookies." We both laughed, remembering all the boxes of cookies Nan had sent me over the years. "It's fine, babe, I'm fine. You can't cure ignorance, only educate them if their willing to learn."

He pulled me closer, one of his hands tangling in my belt loop, the other sliding under my arm to cradle my shoulder. "I don't know why things worked out the way they did, or why we didn't talk sooner, but I love you, I never stopped."

"That reminds me – I have something to show you."

Taking his hand, I led him to the kitchen table. He looked at the sculpture, trailing a finger along the curve like I'd done earlier.

"It's beautiful. Where did it come from?" he asked, picking it up to examine it closer.

"Nan left it for me," I replied, pulling out a chair for him to sit down while I explained.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Reiterating – in NO WAY do I agree with Maggie's opinions. No, she never agreed with Makenna, but for the sake of their friendship she held her tongue. Wonder what suddenly set her off? <strong>_


	61. Chapter 61

_**Jumping back to Carlisle's POV, with a small back track to cover his visit to the funeral home. The situation with Maggie will gain clarity in a couple chapters, please be patient and indulge this, it will be worth it. Besides, who gives two shits why Maggie is crazy, so long as the boys escaped unscathed, right? **_

_**Thanks everyone for all the reviews. **_

_**Nothing's changed—SM still owns them, I can't be effed to wait for a beta, and the guys own me.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-One<strong>

**CPOV**

I left the house with the memory of the picture in my mind and the feel of Edward's lips lingering on mine. Following the directions from the GPS, I had no trouble finding the funeral home where Nan had made her arrangements. After introducing myself to Beth, the receptionist, she checked the appointments, informing me that the director was still occupied with another family. Asking me to please follow her, she showed me to a private waiting area and a coat hook where I could hang the garment bag containing Nan's dress. She assured me she would let the director know I had arrived, then offered me something to drink, before returning to the desk.

Left to my own devices and unable to sit still, I wandered the room. Absently glancing at the pictures I allowed my mind to wander to the revelations we'd made. The letter Nan had left for me had been unexpected, but so like her.

I'd been a frightened little boy when I'd been sent to live with a grandmother I only saw a couple times a year. My fears were exacerbated when I heard her and Pops arguing over my staying there after I went to bed at night. It went on for a couple weeks, until he gave her an ultimatum, to which she responded by promptly throwing him out. While he hadn't been my biological grandfather, he was the only one I knew, and for months after I'd felt guilty that I'd driven him away. It wasn't until Nan overheard me in the garden one afternoon, during one of my many 'gnome confessionals', that she realized how I felt. She wasted no time in setting me straight, reassuring me that no matter what happened, she would always be there for me. And she had been.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing behind me. Turning, I saw a man near my age, attired in a black suit and a tone on tone periwinkle striped tie.

"Mr. Cullen?" When I nodded, he extended his hand. "I'm Tyler Crawley, the assistant director. My father asked me to come speak with you because he's still tied up."

"Thank you for taking the time." I shook his hand. "I apologize that I wasn't able to make it in yesterday. I hope I didn't inconvenience anyone."

"Oh it's not a problem, sir. We knew you were driving in from out of town. I hope your trip went smoothly?"

I couldn't help the blushing smile that crept across my face. "It went very well; better than expected. I appreciate all that you've done to take care of the arrangements long distance."

"Please know it's been our honor to take care of your grandmother. Mrs. Charles attended church with our family; she and my parents have been friends for several years now. Your grandmother was a lovely woman." He pointed toward a table. "Please, sir. Have a seat. My father has given me your grandmother's paperwork; we didn't want to keep you waiting if we could avoid it."

"That's fine, and please, call me Carlisle." I joined the younger Mr. Crawley at the table, taking the seat adjacent to him.

For the next thirty minutes, we discussed the arrangements that Nan had made. She would be cremated and interred next to my grandfather. While they would leave her jewelry on for the viewing, her personal effects would be available for me to pick up on Tuesday morning. I signed the final release forms, pointing out where Nan's dress hung. When the paperwork was completed, we both stood and shook hands again. I reached the door, then paused.

"One last thing," Tyler looked over from where he was retrieving the garment bag. "I'm just curious where I can find a copy of my grandmother's obituary. Is it in a specific paper?"

"No, sir – I mean, Carlisle. It's available in every local publication. However, we have copies available at reception for the families and the information is also on the memorial cards that will be given out tomorrow. Give me just a moment and I'll walk you out."

Gathering Nan's dress, he met me at the door and I followed him back to the lobby. He took a moment to tell Beth what I needed, then bade me to have a good evening, with a reminder to be there at one the next day, a full hour before the memorial service. Digging through the files cabinet, Beth produced a local paper, along with a couple of memorial cards. When she excused herself to answer the phone, I nodded, enrapt by the picture on the front of the card. It could have been taken near the willow in Nan's garden, the resemblance was that close.

I drew my fingers across the raised, embossed letters of Nan's name – Makenna Claire Charles – then opened the cream vellum paper. On the inside left, one of her favorite verses, John 14:2*, had been inscribed. On the right, they had used the obituary she'd written for herself. All of the usual facts were at the beginning: date of birth, date of death, family members who preceded her in death – including my grandfather and step-grandfather, who I didn't know had passed. Her private endeavors were listed next, including her involvement with PFLAG, The Trevor Project, and assorted groups to aid the homeless. Reaching the last line, my breath caught.

_Makenna is survived by her grandsons, Carlisle Cullen and Edward Masen._

She'd never given up hope.

I made the drive home in a daze, following the reversed directions of the GPS on autopilot. I couldn't wait to show Edward. Turning into the driveway, I saw Mike exiting his car in front of Maggie's house and paused to talk to him. Our conversation was interrupted by screaming from inside Nan's house. Running for the door, the memorial card was forgotten when I walked into the living room to find a crazed Maggie in the middle of a homophobic rant directed at Edward.

* * *

><p><em><strong>*John 14:2 My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? (NIV)<strong>_

_**Next update tomorrow near the same time. Smooches!  
><strong>_


	62. Chapter 62

_**Yes, Nan knew her boys would work it out. As someone stressed in their review, she had FAITH. She turned it over to hands better able to handle it, until she received the sign she needed to do more. **_

_**All the usual warnings and disclaimers still apply.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Two<strong>

**CPOV**

Walking in on Maggie screaming at Edward, the hateful words spilling from her, had me seeing red. Who the hell did she think she was, coming in my grandmother's house and spewing such filth? While Edward looked nonplussed by her tirade, in fact almost amused, I wouldn't tolerate it. Then, before I could interrupt, she started ranting about my grandmother. Mike laid a restraining hand on my arm when I lunged in her direction, but it didn't stop me from roaring to shut her up.

"ENOUGH!"

Maggie whirled, shocked to see me standing there, then pleaded with me to understand. When Mike stepped around me, her face flushed in embarrassment and she stopped babbling. Thank the fuck! If I'd had to hear another word out of her mouth, I wouldn't be held responsible for my actions. Furious, I enumerated what I did know about Maggie, none of it flattering, then threw her out of the house. Before she could open her mouth again, Mike escorted her to the door. I stopped them long enough to retrieve the key. Then, mustering the little bit of compassion I had left for the vile woman, I allowed her to attend Nan's memorial service, with one caveat.

"Know this, though. If you make a scene like this tomorrow, I will not hesitate to have you thrown in jail. I will not have Nan's memory sullied by your hate-mongering filth."

The minute she cleared the threshold, I closed the door. Okay, maybe I slammed the door, but damn it, who could blame me? I hurried to Edward, needing to know he was okay. He soothed me with assurances that he'd suffered no lasting damage, instead finding the whole scenario bizarrely ridiculous. Edward filled me in on the parts of Maggie's rants I'd missed, and I couldn't help laughing at the foolish, unmerited assumptions she'd made. I tried to weigh them against what Mike had told me before we heard the shouting, looking for a shred of sympathy, but all I could muster was pity. What pained me most out of all it had been the horrible things she'd said concerning Nan. I drew Edward closer, needing to hold him.

"I don't know why things worked out the way they did, or why we didn't talk sooner, but I love you. I never stopped." I leaned into him, absorbing his strength, until he pulled away.

"That reminds me – I have something to show you."

He led me into the kitchen, where I spied the modern sculpture on the table, out of character with everything else in my grandmother's house. I had to pick it up and examine the free-flowing, abstract beauty closer. When I asked where it came from, the last thing I expected to hear Edward say was that Nan had left it for him. Accepting the chair he pulled out, I waited for his explanation.

I held the figurine, studying its beautiful composition, while Edward told me about finding it on Nan's desk and the letter that had been with it. It didn't escape me that, when he began talking about my grandmother and her gift, he'd only referred to her as Nan. A new light shone from him, one of acceptance that animated his every word and gesture. It had the same magical quality as watching a flower bloom.

Edward's parents, while they hadn't cut him out of their lives, were reluctant to accept his sexuality. Even though he'd come out right before he left for college, over a decade ago, the few occasions I'd spent around them left me with the feeling that they still believed it was a phase he'd grow out of. Yet my grandmother, a woman who had no reason to accept Edward other than the fact that I loved him, had shown him more understanding and love than his own family.

"She knew Carlisle. Somehow, some way, Nan knew what we were both too stubborn to see." His pressed a kiss to my temple, reaching over my shoulder to touch the sculpture.

"Would you have called?" I spoke low, hesitant to hear his answer, but needing to know. "If she'd still been alive and mailed the package, would you have called me?"

Sliding around to kneel next to the chair, he pulled it away from the table to face him. "Honestly, right away? No." I grimaced, and he grasped my hand, rushing to explain. "Babe, look at what happened in the car when I tried to talk to you. Granted, yes, there was also the complication of the night before at the hotel, and yes, we did eventually talk, but we were both on the defensive."

He lifted his hand to rest it over my heart. "I'd have called Nan. She hinted in the letter that she believed that you'd be willing to listen if I came to talk to you. I'd have needed to know why she felt that way before I did anything. After that, though – yes, I'd have called, if only to give us both some kind of closure."

"I missed you." I filled in the gaps. "Nan knew it. She never pushed me, but little things she'd say or ask clued me in that she knew I wanted to fix whatever had happened."

See, and Nan finding this," he reverently traced each of the curves, following one to the base, then the other back to where it rested in my hand, "was too much of a coincidence to not take the chance on calling you."

* * *

><p><em><strong>So, now, that brings us back up to speed, and tomorrow will be the explanation of Maggie's mental snap. I'm not gonna lie, the next chapter was the hardest one I've written; it will also be the longest.<strong>_

_**If my count is right, and my outline holds, there are about 8 chapters left. **_

_**Also, because I apparently have sooo much free time, (looks at 3 page to do list and snorts), I will be posting a drabble fic on Saturday. The entire story will post in one day and is approx. 20 chapters. **_

_**Luck o' the Irish: **__**Emmett McCarty owns one of the most popular Irish watering holes on Chicago's South Side and serial dates the most beautiful women in town. He carries a four leaf clover in his pocket, a horseshoe hangs over his door, but he doesn't believe in faeries – until their King arrives to enchant him. **_


	63. Chapter 63

_**As I said at the end of yesterday's update, this is the hardest chapter I've written in the entire story. It is also the longest. I know y'all won't mind the length, though, and really I didn't want to break this and drag it out any longer than I had to. My views at the end. **_

_**All the same disclaimers, warnings, etc.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Three<strong>

**CPOV**

The earnestness revealed through his words filled up the empty places in my heart left behind by Nan's letter and the trip to the funeral home. Curling my hand around his neck, I leaned forward while pulling him closer. When our lips brushed, then opened under the tender explorations of our tongues, the sculpture fell unheeded into my lap. While an undercurrent of want tugged at us both, the kiss remained gentle, full of reaffirmation. I'd have gladly stayed there, holding and being held, for the remainder of the day, had it not been for a knock on the door.

Breaking away with a sigh, Edward's eyes sparkled. "I'm almost afraid to answer, after my last visitor. Next thing you know protestors from Westboro will be showing up to Nan's funeral."

I snorted, trying not to laugh, but gave up. "One of us needs to answer the door. It could be important."

"Unless its grocery delivery, I'm not interested," Edward whined, but rocked back to gain his balance and stand up. Taking the sculpture from my lap, he placed it on the table, then hauled me to my feet. "Come on, I'm not going to face a potential hoard of harpies by myself."

'Get something to drink, I've got," I replied, turning him toward the refrigerator.

When a second knock sounded, I yelled I was coming, eliciting a stifled laugh from Edward. I threw the kitchen towel at him and walked to the front door. Hesitant to just open it, I peered through the curtains to find Mike on the porch. He looked frazzled, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, while he shifted his weight from one leg to the other. His focus flitted from studying his feet to glancing at Maggie's house, then back again. Whatever he needed, it obviously had something to do with her.

I opened the door and invited him in, shushing his apologies for interrupting my afternoon. He glanced around the living room, before settling his attention back on me.

"Is Edward okay? I mean, Maggie didn't physically hurt him, did she?" he asked, concern written all over his features.

"He's fine, Mike. He found most of it ridiculous, bordering on stupid. Well except for what she said about Nan, but I handled that," I assured him.

"Is Edward around? I owe both of you an apology."

"He's in the kitchen. Would you like something to drink?" I extended my arm for him to lead the way. "I hardly think you're the one who owes anyone an apology, either, Mike. Maggie is a grown woman who acted on her own volition."

Edward looked up when we walked in. "I thought I heard your voice, Mike. Is everything okay? Can I get you something to drink?"

"Some water would be fine, thank you, and I wanted to talk with you and Carlisle for a few minutes, if you have the time. You're both owed an explanation and an apology for Maggie's actions. She's under a great deal of personal stress, but that doesn't excuse her inappropriate behavior."

Edward prepared drinks for all of us, then joined Mike and me at the table. Once we were all settled, Mike tried to explain, to the best of his knowledge, what had happened with Maggie.

"I have to tell you ahead of time; it's not my habit to share personal information about my parishioners. Speaking to a member of the clergy affords the same level of confidence that speaking with an attorney does. However in this instance, I do believe you have a right to know."

Resting his elbows on the table, he clasped his hands together. He paused for a minute to collect his thoughts before continuing.

"Believe it or not, Maggie is mortified over her actions earlier. She asked me to please convey her apologies to you both, and that she knows that nothing can make up for the hurtful things she said. She gave me permission to tell you what happened. While she knows it doesn't excuse her, I think she hopes it might offer you some understanding of why she acted the way she did."

Edward huffed, opening his mouth to say something, then thinking better of it, stopped. I studied him while he stared into his glass, almost seeing the gears turning as he restrained himself. Taking his hand in mine, I squeezed, offering my support no matter what he decided. He shot me a glance, his eyes questioning. When I nodded, he took another deep breath, then spoke his mind.

"Mike, Carlisle and I have lived with the views of people like Maggie since we each came to terms with our sexuality. People are afraid of things they don't understand and act upon that fear out of ignorance. But, what Maggie did today was more than that. It was a betrayal of trust and friendship, and it dishonored the memory of a woman who tried her best to spread love and tolerance. I don't know, for me, if there is much you can say that will make it possible for me to ever forgive and forget what Maggie said today."

Mike nodded in understanding. "Fair enough. Having never been in the fire of blatant persecution, I can't begin to imagine what it must be like. And you're right; Maggie's actions were an absolute betrayal of every part of her friendship with Makenna. I can't help wondering, though, if Makenna had been alive, if she might have been better equipped to help Maggie than I am." Shaking his head, he swiped a hand through his hair, before sharing what he knew.

"Maggie received a phone call late yesterday from her daughter, who lives just outside of Austin. Tanya's son, an eighteen year old high school senior, had come home from football practice with a broken nose and couple fractured ribs. Apparently, Paul is homosexual and had been outed at practice, where his 'teammates' proceeded to turn him into a tackle dummy before the coach could bring a stop to it. Paul had kept his secret from everyone for over a year, afraid of what would happen, with good cause, it seems."

Drawing a deep breath, Mike closed his eyes, appearing to dread having to tell what happened next. "When Tanya's husband found out why Paul had been attacked at practice, he dragged the kid out back and proceeded to, in his words. "beat the sin" out of the boy."

Edward and I both gasped, the muscle in my jaw tightening at the thought of what that boy had been through at the hands of someone who should have supported him. We managed to keep quiet to let Mike finish.

"The neighbors heard Tanya screaming for him to stop and called the police. Paul is in the hospital with a concussion and a ruptured spleen. The hospital contacted Child Protection Services and the father has been arrested. Because Paul is still in high school, and a parent attacked him, he's been assigned a guardian from the courts to protect his best interests."

Mike paused, taking a drink of his water. "When I extended an altar call for anyone needing prayer this morning, Maggie had approached one of our prayer team members. She became overwrought and hysterical, forcing us to escort her from the sanctuary. I allowed my assistant pastor to take over the rest of the service, while I spoke with her. I tried to calm her down, offering her information that Makenna had given me about PFLAG and other support organizations. She became irrational, carrying on about the two of you and how you'd brainwashed Makenna."

Mike looked at Edward, his expression pained. 'For some reason, she sees you as the root of everything. She refuses to accept that someone is born homosexual, that it's not a choice or something someone can be coerced into. She loved Makenna like a sister and refused to believe her friend raised a homosexual, so some outside influence must have made him gay. That became you, by default. When she left the church, she was muttering about the two of you and proof. I finished up the things I had to take care of and rushed over to make sure she didn't do anything foolish; that was when I met you in the front yard, Carlisle. I'd hoped she'd come to her senses, until we heard her screaming."

"She snapped under the stress," I murmured, rubbing a hand across my eyes. "And the one person who might have helped her understand was gone." I looked up, meeting Mike's burdened gaze. "It still doesn't excuse what she did, and she'll have to live with that guilt. I can't absolve her of it, I won't. Until people can learn tolerance, there will always be incidents like what happened to her grandson. She could've become an instrument of change, like Nan, but she gave in to her fears."

"She did, and you're right, she has to live with that." Mike stood. "I've taken up enough of your time, but you deserved to know the full story. Maggie won't be coming to the memorial service. She's flying to Austin late tonight to help her daughter with the other children while Paul is hospitalized. Again, I'm so sorry I didn't get here in time to prevent what happened. "

I walked Mike to the door, watching him pull away, before returning to the kitchen. Edward stood at the sink, staring out the bay window. He kissed the hand I rested on his shoulder, then turned to face me.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"While she was raving like a loon, Maggie said something about Nan selling the house and donating the proceeds to charity. Did you know anything about her plans?" I shook my head; Nan had never said a word. Edward wrapped his arms around me. "How would you feel if she did? You grew up here, most of the happy memories of your childhood happened in these rooms, in that garden."

"They did, but I'll always have the memories, even if the house is gone." I rested my hand on his cheek. "Wherever you are is where I belong, and that's in Chicago. This was my past, but you're my forever."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Before the questions even start—No, Maggie never really saw Makenna's point of view and only tolerated Edward and Carlisle's relationship for the sake of their friendship. She did care for Makenna, and was fond of Carlisle. Once they broke up, she, unlike Nan, assigned blame as she saw fit. <strong>_

_**When her grandson was beaten, she blamed his homosexuality, not the people who perpetrated the hate crime. She is the product of a narrow-minded society that will blame a victim when the lifestyle they lead puts them in the line of fire from people too afraid to accept anything that puts them outside their personal comfort zone. **_

_**Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a drink or four, so I can find a happy place and a lemon.  
><strong>_


	64. Chapter 64

_**You know where was absolute fail last night, and I didn't have the strength to deal with the bullshit. So, back on track now. **_

_**Also, don't forget Luck o' the Irish will post all day tomorrow. I may even start in the next couple hours. I mean hell its Saturday in lots of other places!**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Four<strong>

**CPOV **

The ever present cuckoo clock whirred, the funny little bird popping out to announce the time. Two o'clock. We still needed to go to the grocery store, and I was starving. Edward still looked pensive. Sliding my hand to the base of his neck, I pressed the heel of my palm into the knotted muscle between his shoulders, rotating it to ease the tension.

"Hungry?"

"Yeah, but I really don't feel like cooking. You?" he asked, his arm still twined around my waist.

"I don't feel like cooking, either. Let's go see what we can find out near the grocery store, then go shopping afterward," I suggested, wanting to get away from the house for a while. "Maggie's tirade just… I think it would be good to get out of the house for a little bit."

"Mmhhmm," Edward hummed, his eyes drifting closed. "Sounds good, but we should probably go now."

"Well, yeah, I kind of figured now, since its well past lunch time." My brow furrowed in confusion.

"I meant before we didn't make it to the door at all," he murmured.

Edward's eyes languidly opened, the irises a dark green; the same color I'd come to associate a long time ago with one or both of us getting naked damn soon. He tightened his arms around me, drawing me against his stirring erection, his hips rolling for emphasis. I shivered, wondering if lunch was an absolute necessity. The roiling in my stomach solved the dilemma for me. Reluctantly letting Edward go, I stepped back, raking my hand through my hair.

"Yeah, we should definitely leave." His tongue slid across his bottom lip and I groaned. "Now."

The wicked smirk and slight quirk of his eyebrow pushed my resolve to the limits, my cock twitching at the promise contained in both. Reluctantly, I fought the urge to drag him up the stairs…or to the sofa…or the kitchen table, since I sincerely doubted I'd make it much further if Edward offered any more enticement.

"Edward," I warned, knowing it held little weight. If he persisted, I'd follow wherever he wanted, it was that simple.

"You win," he conceded.

Turning me around, he began pushing me to the front door, his hand 'slipping' to my ass more than once on the brief trip across the room. Reaching the door, I stopped suddenly, causing him to walk into me. Wrapping his arms around my waist to keep us both from falling, he breathed into my ear.

"Change your mind?"

"Not yet, but it's getting harder by the minute." Edward managed to slide his hand halfway down my thigh before I could grab his wrist. "And, no, you don't need to check. Take my word for it." His chest rumbled against my back when he chuckled. "Yeah sure, laugh it up," I grumbled. "I stopped because I don't remember where I put the keys."

"Oh, hold on. I know where they are, I'll get them," Edward replied, his hand sliding into the opposite pocket of my khakis, snagging the forgotten key ring on one finger while the rest of them slid across the crease of my groin to caress my balls through the fabric.

My knees buckled, my hand slamming into the door to keep us upright, while a hissing breath exploded from my chest. Splaying his hand across my stomach, the one in my pocket continued to explore. Shifting my hips into his palm, I distractedly found myself wishing I dressed to the left. It was the last lucid thought I had.

Edward's mouth moved against the side of my neck, his breath teasing across my earlobe when he whispered, "Do you know how fucking hot you looked, standing here yelling at that harpy? The only thing that kept me from going down on you right then and there was Mike standing directly behind you." He pressed hard against my back, his crotch sliding against my ass. "But he's not here now."

While he talked, the hand that wasn't busy playing pocket pool had unbuttoned my slacks. Edward pushed down my boxer briefs, releasing my shaft to bounce against my stomach. Long fingers wrapped around me, sliding down and over the head, when he whispered again.

"Turn around, Car." When I did, he pushed me against the door, dropping to his knees in one fluid movement. He smirked up at me, his thick lashes barely concealing the burning passion in his dark green eyes. "I want to hear you scream again, love. Don't hold back." Without breaking eye contact, he leaned forward, dragging his tongue through my leaking slit before wrapping his lips around me.

"Fuck!'

One fist hammered into the door while the other tangled in his unruly hair. My legs shook with the effort of keeping my hips still. Edward hummed, the vibrations shooting along my spine. His head bobbed along my shaft, his tongue wrapping and curling around me. The room filled with wet slurping sounds, accompanied by my steady stream of shouted curses. I rocked my hips, trying not to thrust too deep, but needing the added friction.

"So…argh… fucking hell…good. Oh God, your mouth, babe. Need…more…fucking close."

Edward pulled off with a noisy pop, his lips red and glistening. He bit the skin on my hipbone, then licked the red mark left behind. His hand continued to stroke my cock, sliding easily over the spit-slicked skin. My hips bucked into his grip, while I tightened my hold on his hair. Moving close again, he dragged his tongue up my length, then followed it with sucking nips on the reddened head.

"Let go, baby, take what you need," he offered, before swallowing around me again. Releasing my shaft, Edward dug his fingers into my ass, pulling forward, a tacit invitation for me to fuck his mouth.

Groaning, I gave into instinct, sinking my other hand into his hair to guide his head. I watched in rapt fascination while I slid between his parted lips, tapping the back of his throat over and over again. My hips moved faster, chasing my release, the low hum from Edward's throat and his hot gaze on my face giving me all the encouragement I needed. His hands kneaded the globes of my ass, moving inward until they slid along my crack, not stopping until he rubbed across the sensitive skin behind my balls.

Shouting his name, I stiffened, then shuddered, pulling his hair to hold him still. He swallowed the gushing spurts of come, his tongue sliding along my base to milk out every drop. When he finally eased away, after a final swipe of his tongue across the head, I sunk to the floor next to him. Pulling him to me, I claimed his mouth, our tongues tangling and the salty tang assailing my senses. Coming up for air, I nuzzled the skin under his jaw.

'Thank you," I whispered.

He pulled away, offering a confused smile. "For what?"

'For always knowing what I need, even when I don't."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Not going to lie—I literally tried 3x to cockblock these boys. I mean seriously, chafing has to be kicking in here soon! But, they're some persistent bastards. By the time Edward stuck his hand in Carlisle's pocket, I gave up and let them have their way – probably would have saved me a bunch of headaches if I would have given in sooner, but it did make the beginning of the chapter more fun! *WINK*<strong>_


	65. Chapter 65

_**We're back! Sorry that I disappeared for a little while. I had two pieces to write for compilations and needed to focus on them until they were done. Some real life crap cropped up, too, slowing me down a bit. Then, my lovely bannermaker, SlashKittenMina, became ill again. In her honor, a group of friends banded together to create a compilation to help fund research for ovarian cancer. We spent two days getting it all set up—more info at the bottom. **_

_**Thank you also, everyone, for all the reviews and love. My birthday was last Thursday, and Lost Highway broke 1K in reviews just in time. Thank you for the lovely gift, all of you!  
><strong>_

_**Back to Edward's point of view. In case you've forgotten, when last we saw our guys, Edward had been helping Carlisle relieve some… "tension."**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Five<strong>

**EPOV**

Carlisle's quiet thank you touched my soul, cocooning us both in its heartfelt warmth. I pressed my lips against his temple, cradling him in my arms. While he exhibited intense control in every facet of his life, in our bed he'd been more than willing to relinquish it to me in the past. Ironically, in giving himself over so completely, he'd ended up with all the power when it came to the dynamics of our relationship, especially near the end. Allowing him to take control, when he'd desperately needed it, was a gift I'd freely given. I'd never wanted us to have defined roles; it seemed we wouldn't have them going forward. With each touch, look, and moment we shared, we were finding the balance we'd lacked before. For the first time in forever, I felt like we were truly partners.

Uncurling my legs from under me, I shoved myself to my feet before grabbing Carlisle's hand to help him up. Brushing his hands away, I straightened his clothes, then checked for any tell-tale signs of our interlude. When I'd assessed us both and found nothing out of place, I finger-combed his hair back into a semblance of order. In silence, he allowed my ministrations, a look of bemused wonder on his face.

"Now, Mr. Cullen," I paused, waiting for him to look up at me. My breath caught when he did, forcing me to clear my throat. Carlisle's calm reserve had attracted me from the minute I'd met him, but seeing him vulnerable made him infinitely more precious. "I do believe you were taking me to lunch before you became so shamefully distracted." My mouth twitched at the corner, belying my condescending tone.

Carlisle's eyes widened, then narrowed when he gave me a light shove. "Asshole!" he laughed. "And just who the hell caused the 'shameful distraction'?" he air-quoted, before rolling his eyes.

He reached in his pocket for the car keys, a blush tingeing his cheeks. My knowing chuckle at where his thoughts had gone made him blush even more. "Stifle it," Carlisle warned, before laughing, too. Taking my hand, he opened the front door. "Let's get out of here, before any more distractions crop up."

Walking to the car, both our glances shot to the quiet house next door. The gentle squeeze on my hand; accompanied by a deep sigh, were all Carlisle revealed of his feelings. I knew the same what ifs that clouded my mind also filled his. Maggie had her own crosses to bear, and she'd never welcome the support that we could've provided. Shaking my head, I returned the squeeze, before letting go to walk to the passenger's side of the car. Carlisle reached for my hand again once we were on the road, entwining our fingers before he lifted it to his lips to brush them across my knuckles. The simple, touching gesture filled me with contentment, while I reveled in the transformation that had occurred in him. I could see the possibilities of forever with the man who was slowly being revealed to me.

I shook my head at the fanciful thought. _Slow the fuck down, Masen. You already thought that once and it ended in disaster. _Lost in thought, I stared out the window, paying little attention to my surroundings. It wasn't until I heard Carlisle say my name that I zoned back in. The questioning look on his face made me wonder how long I'd been daydreaming.

"I'm sorry, Car. I was woolgathering. What did you ask?"

"I asked if you had any preference for lunch. There's plenty to choose from." Carlisle's gaze lingered a little long at the traffic signal, earning him a honk from the car behind us when he didn't respond to the changing light. He frowned, shooting his eyes to the rearview mirror, then pulled away, before speaking again. "Everything okay?"

"It's fine." I replied, then changed the subject. "What about seafood? Remember that little place we went to with Nan the first time…" My voice trailed off.

"The Pier. Yeah, that sounds great," he answered, having mistook my incomplete thought to have meant I'd forgotten the name of the restaurant. That hadn't been it at all.

We'd eaten at The Pier when I first came home with Carlisle to meet Makenna; it'd been her favorite restaurant. She'd told me she liked to take people there for special occasions, and welcoming me to her family definitely qualified as a special occasion in her book. I smiled at the memory. That trip had been the first time I'd ever felt complete acceptance from any family member, including my own, with regards to our relationship.

"Hey," Carlisle squeezed my hand, "where'd you go?"

I looked up, surprised to see we were parked in front of the restaurant. "Just remembering, that's all. Nothing deep, I promise." Opening the door, I stepped out of the car, meeting Carlisle at the front bumper. "It seems strange to be here without her. I'd have never known about it if she hadn't brought us here on that first trip."

"To be honest, she never took anyone else I ever introduced her to here, either. You were the only one she considered worthy of the honor." He offered a weak smile weighted with memories.

"Well, then, let's go eat all her favorites, and have a drink in her memory. She'd expect no less," I insisted, resting my hand on the small of his back and steering him toward the wooden double doors.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Fandom for Ovarian Cancer is a charity compilation that benefits foundations that fund research and educational materials to combat ovarian cancer. Not only am I one of the organizers, but I will also be donating to it. <strong>_

_**Mina has supported this story since it was in its infancy and nothing more than a doc on my computer. I will be donating the outtake of her choice to the compilation. Once she lets me know what she wants, I will pass it onto ya'll. **_

_**You can find more information at www DOT fandomformina DOT blogspot DOT com. Don't forget, take out the spaces and replace DOT with a period. **_


	66. Chapter 66

_**SIGH I've come to the conclusion that FF goes down more than a trick in the backroom of a nightclub. Posting this quickly while it still seems to be working.**_

_**Lots of sad stuff coming in the next few chapters, so stock up your tissues. Note at the bottom concerning Ovarian Cancer Compilation. **_

_**Thank you, as always for all of your wonderful reviews. It made sitting through dinner at my mother's on Saturday infinitely more bearable. Now, once I hit post, I do believe I will go into hiding.**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Six<strong>

**EPOV**

The owner, a middle-aged Native American named Quil, recognized Carlisle after we were seated, and stopped by to offer his condolences. When our server arrived, he told her we were Mrs. Charles' grandsons and to take special care of us. We had a few other visitors to the table during our meal, friends of Nan who knew Carlisle, all stopping by to express their sadness for his loss and share anecdotes about the woman they had known and loved.

The frequent interruptions made it easier to avoid bringing up the scene with Maggie, for which I was grateful. I didn't want any more of my memories of Nan tainted by the virulence that had been exposed in her living room. When we finished, Carlisle waved the server over for the check, only to find that Quil had instructed her that our meal would be on the house. Shaking his head, Carlisle slid a generous tip under his glass before putting his wallet away. On the way out, he stopped by the podium to thank our host.

"It's nothing, Mr. Cullen," Quil insisted, resting a supportive hand on both of our shoulders. "Your grandmother was a beautiful woman who filled many lives with light. She'll be sorely missed, especially by the many causes she so vehemently championed. " Humbled by his words, we shook his hands, verifying the time for the memorial service when he asked about it.

Once we left The Pier, Carlisle found a grocery store on the way back to Nan's. We cruised the aisles, finding the things from my list, while also adding random items to the cart. Anything we didn't eat while at Nan's we could pack in the cooler to take in the car on the way home. _Home_. A simple word whose connotation had taken on such a different meaning in just a handful of days.

For the first time, I wondered if Seth might've been right. _Am I rushing into things, again?_ I shook my head, willing the thought away. Seth didn't know. Once we were back in Chicago, he'd see it; he'd realize Carlisle had changed – I hoped. The possibility of losing my closest friend didn't sit well, and I stopped short, rubbing my hand across my chest at the sudden tightness. Forcing the doubts away, I pulled myself together. _Seth's just hurt, he'll get over it. Things are different now._ I couldn't worry about Seth and his dramatics, not while Carlisle needed me. Rushing down the aisle, I caught up to him before he noticed I'd drifted off again. I didn't want Carlisle worrying about anything other than getting through the next day.

By the time we returned to Nan's, a smattering of storm clouds had begun accumulating. The clouds brought with them a drop in temperature, offering a much needed respite from the late afternoon heat. Carlisle and I worked together to put the groceries away, then agreed that we needed to write out what we wanted to say at the memorial service. He scrounged around Nan's desk to find us notepaper and pens, handing me a set to work with. I took a seat at the kitchen table, prepared to get to work, when I noticed Carlisle's hesitation.

"I think I'm going to go sit outside, if you don't mind?" He looked pensive, almost as if he thought I'd object.

"Car, go wherever you need to go to do this. I'll be here if you need me; I'm not going anywhere."

Relief flooded his face and he strode to the back door. I watched him from where I sat until he moved out of sight, then walked to the kitchen window. His steps had slowed once he reached the garden paths, his gaze drifting from side to side over the familiar landscaping. Rounding the bend near the back, he ducked under the willow tree, returning to the spot he'd told me had always been his sanctuary as a child. Saddened that nothing I could do would offer him the comfort he sought, I returned to the table.

The steady ticking of the clock, accompanied by the single cuckoo at the half hour and the longer series of chirps on the hour, were the only sounds to be heard. I scribbled, crossed, out and rewrote several passages, but none of them conveyed my feelings for the woman I'd been blessed to know. Rubbing a hand across my tired eyes, I drew a deep breath and sat up straight, twisting my neck to ease the sore muscles. Then, tilting my head back, I stared at the ceiling, hoping inspiration would strike.

Frustrated, I threw my pen on the table. The plastic casing pinged against the base of the figurine, drawing my attention. I reached over to pick up the statue, once again amazed at Nan's intended gift. Her intrinsic wisdom had been one of her most defining characteristics. She'd read people like a book, always deciphering what they needed before they could ask for help. Hell, wasn't the statue a perfect example of that?

Reaching across the table, I picked it up, studying once more the flowing fragility cast in an almost immutable form. Despite the delicacy of its appearance, the figurine was nearly indestructible by human hands. _If the bond is tight enough… _And then I knew what I needed to write. Setting aside the sculpture, I scrambled for the pen I'd discarded.

I lost track of time, while my pen scratched furiously across the paper. My thoughts came so quickly, I struggled to keep pace with getting them all down. Engrossed in my efforts, I didn't notice the waning light or hear the backdoor open and close. The light pressure of Carlisle's hand on my shoulder startled me, jerking me back to awareness of my surroundings. I absentmindedly reached up to lay mine over top of his, then asked for five minutes.

"Take all the time you need. I thought I'd make some coffee. Interested?" he asked, while his fingers worked magic on the knotted muscles in my shoulders.

"Mmhhmm, Yeah, sounds good," I mumbled, while I re-read what I'd written. Then, satisfied I'd done the best I could to pay tribute to Nan's memory; I laid down my pen and swiveled to watch Carlisle set the coffee pot. His shoulders were slumped, his eyes red-rimmed. "You okay?"

He didn't answer right away, but instead made a show of pulling cups out of the cabinet. Jerking open the refrigerator door, he snatched the milk of the shelf and placed it on the counter, too. His agitation was palpable, but I held off going to him. He needed to vent more than he needed comfort. Running out of things to keep his hands busy, he slammed them down on the countertop.

"Damn it, it's not fair, Edward!" Prepared for the outburst that had been building for days, his sudden vehemence didn't take me by surprise. "Why Nan instead of someone like Maggie? Nan took care of people, she made a difference. How the hell am I supposed to condense who she was and the life she gave me for more than twenty years down to a few paragraphs on a piece of paper? Can you explain it to me, 'cause I sure as hell don't have a clue."

He turned toward me then, his eyes snapping with anger and pain, waiting for me to give him an answer I didn't have. I joined him at the counter and slid my arms around his waist. He searched my face for reassurance, then closed his eyes, leaning into me. I smoothed circles on his back, and wished I had more of an answer to offer him.

"You don't, love, and no one expects you to. Just share what's in your heart, and I promise, it'll be more than enough. Nan knew how much you loved her; you have nothing to prove to anyone else."

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><p><em><strong>Fandom for Ovarian Cancer is a charity compilation that benefits foundations that fund research and educational materials to combat ovarian cancer. Not only am I one of the organizers, but I will also be donating an outtake from Lost Highway to it. <strong>_

_**Mina, whose personal struggles inspired the compilation, has supported this story since it was in its infancy and nothing more than a doc on my computer. She's asked for an outtake of Edward and Carlisle's first date. If you are interested in reading it, a $5 donation will garner you that, plus many other submissions by wonderful authors in several fandoms. **_

_**You can find more information at www DOT fandomformina DOT blogspot DOT com. Don't forget, take out the spaces and replace DOT with a period. **_


	67. Chapter 67

_**I had to take yesterday off from our boys, because this part is hitting me a lot harder than I initially thought it would. More on why at the end. I did use my time wisely, though, and I tucked away 1600 words on the next chapter of One Night Alone. **_

_**So… you will most likely need tissues – I'll wait. **_

_**.**_

_**Got them? Good. **_

_**Just a reminder- SM created them, I manipulate them, they own me, no beta.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Seven<strong>

**EPOV**

Standing in the kitchen, I let Carlisle lean on me, taking whatever comfort or strength he could. I didn't speak, knowing that nothing I'd say would make any of it any easier to get through. There were no tears – honestly, I don't think either of us had any left. Slowly, the tension in the set of his body eased, his shoulders slumped, and his grip on the back of my shirt loosened. He straightened, leaning back a bit to gaze into my eyes. With a steady hand, he reached up and traced his finger down the side of my face, along my jaw line, then across my lips. The corner of my mouth lifted in response.

"I can never repay you for everything you've done for me this week," he began, then pressed his fingers to my lips to still my protest. "I'm serious, Edward. Thank you will never cover it."

I kissed his fingers, then reached up to take his hand in mine, holding it against my heart. "Car, if things had been different, and I'd never left, you wouldn't have been surprised by my being here to support you and help in whatever way I can. Well, we resolved that on the way, so please – just accept it for what it is. We can't undo what happened, but we don't have to let it overshadow every action either of us takes going forward." I stared at him, willing him to agree. "Okay?"

Carlisle nodded, brushing a kiss across my lips. "You're right." He leaned in, capturing my lips again for a deeper, but still chaste kiss. "Coffee? I'm sure it's done by now."

"Sounds great." I stepped back, letting his turn around to the counter, then walked to the pantry. "I'm thinking that bag of Chips Ahoy we bought would be perfect, too." I sighed then, remembering the cookies Nan had made me. Carlisle gave me an inquisitive look. "Just so you know, I'm going through Nan's recipes to find the one for the cookies. They probably won't ever taste as good as hers, but at least I'll have it." He laughed, shaking his head, and finished making both cups of coffee.

"What do you want to do about dinner? I don't think I could eat anything substantial; I'm still full from lunch." Carlisle handed me my cup, before snatching the cookies from my hand and heading toward the living room.

"No, me either. Let's just let it ride. If either of us gets hungry, there's stuff for sandwiches or whatever." I followed behind him. I set my cup on the end table, then sunk into the corner of the sofa, before propping my feet up on the ottoman.

"TV or music?" he held up the remote in his hand.

"Uhm… hmmm. How about music and trivia box?"

I leaned down and pulled two boxes of trivia cards from one of the baskets under the table, not waiting for his answer. Music filled the air, Nan's Bocelli CD playing once again. Carlisle joined me on the sofa, stretching out and resting his head against my thigh. He settled the bag of cookies on his chest once he opened them, then took the box of cards I held out to him.

Trivia box was something Nan had introduced me to the first time I came to visit. She'd said she hated the competitive aspect of Trivial Pursuit, but loved figuring out the questions. She and Carlisle had devised trivia box as a way to enjoy the part they loved. Each person had their own box of questions – any board, any genre – and would pull a card to ask the others. First one to answer correctly got to ask the next question. Essentially, it was like playing the game, but without the board and the ridiculous little pie pieces. I'd had so much fun, Carlisle and I had started collecting Trivial Pursuit games from thrift shops and flea markets at home, discarding everything but the cards when we found them.

We went back and forth that way for a couple hours, pausing to make some sandwiches when the cookies ran out, then returned back to the sofa with the trivia cards. The CD player moved through the discs Nan had in the changer, progressing from Andrea Bocelli, to a contemporary Christian band, to an older Eagles album. I'd raised my eyebrow at that, tugging on Carlisle's hair, and rolling my eyes when he looked up at me.

"What? I came by my love for all things Eagles honestly," he exclaimed, before pushing himself up on his elbows to give me a kiss. "I promise – I will only make you listen to them once on the way home. Feel free to use your iPod and the satellite radio to your heart's desire. So long as you're happy, I am."

Eventually, the cards were set aside and we stretched out together, Carlisle's head resting on my chest, our breaths synchronizing while we wound down from the day. I fought the pull of my eyes sleepily drifting closed, enjoying the simple quiet too much to drift away from it. After Carlisle yawned for a third time, though, I knew we needed to get to bed. The next day would be emotionally taxing for both of us, Carlisle even more than me. I wanted him to be rested well enough to be able to face it. Sliding my hand up his side, I stroked the side of his face, waiting for him to look at me. When he did, I couldn't miss the drowsy droop of his eyelids.

"I think it's time to get some sleep, love," I murmured, sliding my hands through his hair to rub his scalp.

"Mmhhmm, 'kay," he agreed, but made no effort to move.

"Car? Babe? C'mon, let's go to bed." I slid my leg out from underneath him to rest it on the floor, expecting him to stand up.

"This works," he muttered, snuggling in closer to my side. Chuckling low, I found the ticklish spot under his ribs. He jumped to his feet to get away, then shot me a dirty look. "That so wasn't fair. I'd become perfectly comfortable where I was."

"I'm sure you were, but we'll both be more comfortable in a bed where we can both stretch out and not worry about one of us falling off the edge." I turned off the CD player, then directed Carlisle toward the stairs, pushing him in front of me. "Let's get some sleep."

I followed him up the stairs, sighing in contentment when he slowed to take my hand. Pulling two pairs of sleep pants out of the dresser, I dropped them on the bed and stripped out of my clothes, before tugging one pair on. Carlisle had gone into the bathroom and I heard the toilet flush, followed by the sound of running water and gargling. I joined him, bumping him to the side a bit so I could reach the sink to brush my teeth. His eyes met mine in the mirror when he placed a kiss on my shoulder, then he squeezed my hip and left me to finish getting ready for bed. I reentered the bedroom to find him sitting on the edge of the bed, already changed, but looking lost. Walking over to him, I reached for his hand and pulled him to his feet. Without a word, I drew the covers down, then walked around to the other side.

Once I'd turned out the light and settled into the bed, I reached for Carlisle, drawing him back against my chest. I wrapped my arm around him, twining our fingers together. He lifted our hands to kiss the back of mine, then held it tight to his chest. He reached back with his other hand to rest it on my hip. I slid one leg between his, then placed the other one over top, rubbing the bottom of my foot over the top of his. I felt the ragged intake of his breath, followed by a heavy exhale.

"I miss her." The quiet words floated into the dark room.

"I know, so do I." I kissed his shoulder, then tightened my hold on him while I felt the silent tears shake his body one last time while he let her go.

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><p><em><strong>My stepfather was a long-haul truck driver, often gone for three weeks out of the month. He died while on the road in a trucking accident. We weren't prepared for it and it left us all in shock. In writing this story, I've tried to draw on the emotions my family went through in that week while we made preparations to bring Dad home and lay him to rest. In the process of writing Carlisle letting go of Nan, I've been able to let Dad go now, too. <strong>_


	68. Chapter 68

_**So, I skipped yesterday to finish of the chapter of One Night Alone and update it – it had been a while and I'm grateful so many stuck around for it. The rest of Lost Highway is mapped out, waiting to be filled in, barring no more sidetracks by my characters. **_

_**Thanks and love to butterflybetty, nails233, and AtHome Jo for talking me through this one. **_

_**All the same warnings and disclaimers still apply.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Eight<strong>

**EPOV**

I woke before Carlisle and the alarm the next morning, our limbs still entangled from the night before. Still comfortable myself, and not wanting to disturb the sleep he desperately needed, I allowed my mind to wander without purpose. The skies were overcast; the sun almost nonexistent behind heavy grey and black storm clouds – fitting, really, given the somber tone of the day. Of course, knowing Nan, the last thing she'd have wanted would for anyone to be sad. She didn't believe in mourning the loss when someone died, but instead believed we should celebrate the life lived. I smiled at the thought. In the short time I'd known her, Makenna Charles had lived her life without compromise, and lived it to the fullest.

Carlisle stirred, pressing back to envelope himself more in my arms. The brush of his ass against my semi had me gritting my teeth at the sensation. I gingerly angled my hips to press my crotch toward the mattress, determined to let him sleep for as long as he could. He murmured in his sleep, Nan's name interspersed with words I couldn't decipher. Wishing I could do more to assuage his grief, I tightened my hold, while placing a kiss between his shoulder blades. Out of nowhere, Nan's words to me from her letter came to mind.

_I don't love you because I need you, I need you because I love you. _

And then, suddenly, with that simple recollection, the veil lifted and the reasons why I'd agreed to make the trip, why I'd questioned my decision to leave, why I'd forgiven his neglect, why I'd been unable to move on – all of it was put into perspective.

My family tossed the word love around with little regard to its true meaning – they loved their friends, their cars, and their position in society – but never once, until I saw the genuine affection between Nan and Carlisle, had I truly experienced what it meant to love someone else without limits. Because he knew what love was, Carlisle had been able to define our relationship before I had. While I'd offered the words with the flippant casual nature my family had applied to them, I'd felt them to the very core of my being. My need for Carlisle – to help him, support him – to _be_ for him, were born out of a love I hadn't truly comprehended until I thought I didn't have it. The sudden realization washed away the fears and doubts from the day before. It wouldn't happen again, because I finally understood what I needed to fight for.

"I love you," I whispered, my voice breaking under the weight those eight letters carried.

When Carlisle stirred again, I castigated myself, hoping I hadn't woke him up. He turned in my arms, his legs slid back between mine, and his head settled against my chest. His eyes flittered, his breath stuttered, then he settled back into a deep sleep. Slow, even breaths ghosted across my skin, warming with their presence, followed by a chill right before the next exhale warmed me again – the same way his very presence warmed the deepest corners of my life. Contentment filled me and I let its peace reassure me.

_Forever_.

Carlisle had called me his forever.

It would never be long enough, but I'd take what I could have.

I watched him sleep; the play of emotions on his face entranced me. An eyebrow would arch, the corner of his lip quirked, before dropping into a pout. It made me wish I could read his mind to know what caused each subtle change. Carlisle's breathing began to normalize, breaking the barrier between asleep and awake. He blinked, his lids opening quickly only to languidly drift shut again. The sudden blare of the alarm clock had his eyes snapping open, sleepy confusion quickly replaced by sadness at the realization of what day it was. Leaning over him, I turned the alarm off, then settled back into the bed.

"Good morning, love."

"Only because I have you with me," he sighed.

"Do you want to shower first? I'll go make some coffee, maybe find something for breakfast?" I fumbled for something to distract him.

"Let me go to the bathroom and I'll join you for coffee, okay?" He leaned over to give me a kiss, before climbing out of bed.

Once he entered the bathroom, I headed downstairs to make coffee, stopping off to use the downstairs bathroom on the way. I heard the strains of Bocelli drift in from the living room, followed by Carlisle walking into the room. He'd washed his face, the weary tearstains gone, and I caught a whiff of cinnamon toothpaste on his breath when he joined me at the counter. While I pulled cups out of the cupboard, he retrieved the creamer from the refrigerator. Neither of us said a word while 'Ave Maria' soared through the rooms in the strong tenor voice Nan loved so well. After I poured us both cups of coffee, I asked Carlisle if he wanted anything to eat, but he shook his head.

"I think I'm going to go sit outside for a while before we have to get dressed. Join me?" I eyed the low hanging storm clouds with trepidation before I agreed.

Carlisle bypassed the wrought iron cafe set, instead taking to the path that wound to the back of the garden. I trailed behind him, not wanting to interrupt his thoughts, when he suddenly stopped and turned to face me. Once I reached his side, he began walking again, pointing out different flowers, and telling me the stories behind some of the statues that dotted the various beds. He continued talking until we came upon the willow tree. Inclining his head, he encouraged me to sit, then settled next to me on the bench.

"The memorial cards look almost exactly like this," he mused. I offered a questioning glance, waiting for him to elaborate. "The funeral home gave me copies of the cards. I forgot all about them with everything that happened when I got back here yesterday." He paused, casting his gaze around the garden, before turning toward me. "She listed you in the obituary – as her grandson."

I flushed, not sure what to say. Carlisle dropped his gaze, turning away again. Sliding my arm around his waist, I rested my forehead against his back. When he placed his hand over mine, I lifted my head and placed a kiss on his neck. With a sigh, he leaned back into me, laying his head against my shoulder. We sat together, comforting and being comforted, neither noticing the change in the weather, until the skies suddenly opened up in a torrential downpour. Shocked, we both scrambled to our feet, laughing as we ran for the house. By the time we reached the back door we were sopping wet.

Pausing under the overhang, we watched the rain fall, our teeth chattering while we shivered. Carlisle looked at me with the first open smile I'd seen in two days, merriment dancing in his eyes.

"You look like a drowned rat, baby." He pushed my hair off my face and swiped a rivulet of water off my cheek. "Want to shower with me?" he rushed to clarify, "No innuendo intended… I – I just need you close by today. Please?"

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><p><em><strong>Edward's inner monologue was not planned, and I removed it twice, before the lovely ladies mentioned above assured me it needed to be here. Thank them if you enjoy it, blame me if you hate it. <strong>_


	69. Chapter 69

_**This chapter comes with a tissue warning, as do the next couple after it. Thank you everyone who is reading and reviewing, I've read them all and they mean so much to me. I tried to answer a few, but I couldn't put into words how much I appreciated the love and support without it sounding ridiculous and canned, but please know that I do cherish it all.**_

_**Same disclaimers/warnings apply **_

_**Songs I listened to while I wrote this – all are available on youtube.: **_

_**Part 1: **_

_**Gravity by Sarah Bareilles**_

_**What If by Kate Winslet**_

_**When I Find You by Joshua Radin**_

_**Part 2: **_

_**Another Place, Another Time by Sandi Patty**_

_**Save a Place for Me by Matthew West **_

_**With Hope by Steven Curtis Chapman **_

_**Amazing Grace(My Chains are Gone) by Chris Tomlin**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Sixty-Nine<strong>

**EPOV**

"Well, if I'm joining you, there's really no need to walk through the house in soaking wet clothes, is there?" I replied, sliding my thumbs under the waistband of my sleep pants. "We can just throw these right in the washer and I can make a load of it later."

Without waiting for his response, I dragged the wet fabric down my body, and then wrung them out to get rid of the excess moisture. The whole while, Carlisle gawped at me like a fish on a hook. Thankfully, the icy rain, coupled with the somber tone of the day, had pretty much quelled my erection. However, if Carlisle continued to ogle me as if I were the last morsel of food presented to a starving man, I doubted it would remain that way. I opened the back door and tossed my pants at Carlisle.

"Let's go, slowpoke, I'm freezing. Since you're taking so long, you put them in the washer, while I warm up the shower."

Naked, I stepped inside and left the door open, knowing he'd be right behind me. By the time I reached the bedroom door, I heard the sound of the back door being closed. With a knowing smirk, I entered the bathroom and turned the water on, adjusting the temperature before I took the time to make sure there were clean towels. I brushed my teeth and shaved, then opened the shower door, releasing a burst of steam into the room. Still shivering, I closed my eyes and stood directly under the spray in an effort to warm up.

I felt the temperature drop when Carlisle opened the door, then the chill of his body pressed against my back when he joined me under the showerhead. Tugging him in front of me, I ran my hands through his hair under the water, before reaching for the shampoo. I worked the lather through his hair; my nails gently scratched his scalp and I pressed the pads of my fingers into the knotted muscles at the top of his spine. When his shoulders began to relax, I tilted him back under the spray to rinse the shampoo away, then filled a washcloth with body wash.

Taking my time, I lathered his torso, my hands and fingers kneading the tight muscles I encountered. I washed down his arms before kneeling in front of him to wash his legs, lifting first one, than the other. Carlisle's muscles flexed under my touch, still he stood quietly and allowed me to take care of him. A small gasp escaped him when I drew the cloth down his buttocks and between his legs, across his sac and shaft, my ministrations in no way sexual, but sensual in the attention I lavished on him. When I'd finished, I pressed a kiss against his hip bone.

Carlisle took my hand to help me to my feet, then removed the cloth from my hand.. No words passed between us, none were needed. After my body and hair had also been tended to, he turned the water off and led me from the shower. The same care we used in bathing each other, we also used in toweling the water from each other's skin. We hung the towels to dry once we'd finished.

Carlisle stopped me when I turned toward the bedroom. Pulling me back to him, he cradled my face in his hands and captured my lips with his, but not before I saw the sheen of tears in his eyes – tears he wouldn't let fall. The kiss wasn't desperate or needy; it held love and yearning, comfort and sadness. And when we finally broke apart, I held him close and hoped my strength would be enough to get us both through the day.

We dressed side by side – helping each other with our ties, straightening a collar, smoothing a lapel. I tried to tame my hair into some type of order, giving up when Carlisle told me Nan wouldn't care. With nothing left to do to kill time, we walked downstairs, collected our notes and drove to the funeral home.

**.o.O.O.o.**

Carlisle had handed me the memorial card when we settled in the car and I read over it on the way to Crawley's. He'd been right; the picture on the front bore a strong resemblance to his favorite part of Nan's garden. When I'd seen the list of activities she'd been involved in, I'd been astounded again at the depth of her open heart and generous spirit. It made me wonder if there might be some kind of contribution I could make to honor her memory. Looking up, I realized we'd turned into the parking lot and I shelved the idea until later. Somehow, I'd find a way to ensure Nan was never forgotten.

I felt a slight tremor in Carlisle's hand when he took hold of mine while we walked across the parking lot. With a reassuring squeeze, I pulled him to a stop and turned to stand in front of him.

"Car? Babe?" He stared over my shoulder at the door. "Look at me." When he dragged his gaze to mine, I brought my free hand up to rest against his cheek. "It's okay, love. You can do this – for Nan."

His jaw tightened and he nodded his head. "I know, I'll be fine. It's just…" The hopelessness returned to his eyes, but I watched him shrug it off. With a deep breath, he continued, "I'm okay. I just needed a minute. Let's go, I want some time alone with her before everyone else arrives."

The young girl behind the reception desk stood to greet us when we entered, shaking Carlisle's hand and offering her condolences. She made a quick call and a young black man joined us in the lobby.

"Tyler, this is my partner, Edward Masen," he introduced me with a light smile. "Edward, Tyler and his family attended church with Nan."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Edward, though I wish it could have been under different circumstances." I shook his offered hand. "Given the response to Pastor Newton's announcement at church yesterday morning, we've moved Mrs. Charles' service to the main chapel. I can take you there now, if you'd like, and allow you a few moments alone?"

Carlisle swallowed hard and nodded, while I murmured my thanks. We followed Tyler through the double doors into a light, open room. Nan's casket rested on the dais at the front of the room, surrounded by an unbelievable number of floral arrangements. Music played low from a hidden sound system, the room filled with the songs Nan had chosen.

"We've left the cards on the arrangements for you, and Beth will catalogue them with the guest book for you to pick up with Mrs. Charles' personal effects later this week, at your convenience." Tyler paused, reaching for the doorknobs, "I'll leave you two alone. When Pastor Newton arrives, I'll let him know you're here. Other than that, no one will disturb you until you're ready." The doors quietly clicked closed behind him.

I held back and waited for Carlisle to take the lead, allowing him time to prepare himself before he took the last few steps. When he finally moved, I released his hand to hang back, wanting him to have time alone with Nan, but he stopped and reached for me again.

"Please, Edward. Stay with me. I can do this so long as you're with me," he beseeched, his voice wavering.

"Of course, love."

I walked with him, placing my arm around his shoulder for comfort when we reached the casket. Taking a deep breath, I looked down on the woman who had unconditionally accepted me into her life, loved me like I'd been her own, and never lost faith when I'd walked away. With tears in my eyes, I laid my hand over top of hers.

"Thank you," I whispered, then cleared my throat. "Thank you for being who you were, for raising Carlisle to be the man he is, and for trusting him to me. Thank you for believing, when it seemed like things would never work out, and for never losing faith. We miss you so much, Nan. We'll never forget you."

While I'd spoken, Carlisle had wrapped his arm around my waist, offering me the support I'd so readily given him since he'd called me a week prior. I tightened my hold for a moment, then released him and stepped back.

"I'll be right over here, Car. Take the time to tell her everything you need to."

I walked over to the first row of chairs to sit down. Boxes of tissues rested on every row and I pulled a few from the box, wiping the tears that still streamed down my cheeks. With the sounds of Nan's favorite songs surrounding us, I watched Carlisle kneel and say goodbye to the only family he had left.

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><p><em><strong>I'd like to update daily, but right now the chapters are taking an emotional toll. I will, at minimum, maintain the every other day schedule. If I finish one sooner, you will get it sooner. <strong>_


	70. Chapter 70

_**I finished this up around 3:30 in the morning, but I wanted to wait until I had a chance to look it over before I posted. I'm glad I did, because I think the small tweaks I made tie things together a little bit better. Thank you all so much for the beautiful reviews last chapter, especially odiejae – your review truly touched my heart. **_

_**Special love and thanks to butterflybetty, nails233, and AtHome Jo, who have been an invaluable sounding board for me while I put these chapters together. **_

_**All the same warnings/disclaimers still apply.**_

_**Please consider listening while reading: youtu(DOT)be/JmyUgsmCzB4 **_

_**remove the (DOT) replace with .**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy<strong>

**CPOV**

Edward's words to Nan were spoken in a soft, confident whisper, despite the tears that accompanied them. He'd placed his hand over hers while he spoke, just like I'd seen him do numerous times over the years when they'd had serious conversations. When his shoulders slumped, I slid an arm around his waist, letting him lean on me for the first time in a week. He stood silent for a moment after he finished speaking, then hugged me and stepped back to leave me alone with my grandmother.

I looked down on the face that had been my family for over 20 years. She could have been sleeping; her expression was so relaxed and peaceful. The cross she'd worn all my life hung around her neck, the wedding band that my grandfather had given her nestled on her left hand. Resting my hand on the side of the casket, I knelt next to it, not sure what I should say. _Thank you? I love you? _I'd told her that every time I'd spoken to her. If nothing else, my parents' death had taught me to appreciate my family – a lesson I'd forgotten with Edward.

_Despite all my mistakes, he came back, Nan. I won't forget again,_ I silently vowed. I wanted to tell her everything, but knew I didn't need to. While I hadn't set foot in a church since I'd left home for college, Nan's beliefs had been an integral part of my life growing up in her home. If there really was a Heaven, like she'd taught me, Nan was there. She'd been watching all along, setting the path for Edward and me to repair what had torn us apart. _I miss you; I don't know how I'll manage without you. _I fought back the sob in my throat and rested my head against my hand.

I remembered all the times over the years when I'd sought out Nan's guidance. While she'd offered advice with quiet wisdom, she'd also had made me look at all the pros and cons. I'd only ignored her once, and it'd been the biggest mistake I'd ever made. Before I could dwell on that thought, an inexplicable feeling of peace washed over me, almost as if I'd been surrounded by a pair of comforting arms. Quiet words were whispered to my heart, reminding me I still had someone I could rely on.

Taking a deep breath, I rose back to my feet. With a last lingering glance, I stepped back, then turned and found Edward. He stood and took a step forward, then another to meet me halfway. I reached for his hand, letting his warmth fill me.

"Why don't we go see who all of Nan's admirers are?" he suggested, gesturing to the bouquets that crowded the dais.

Together, we walked the length of the platform, amazed at the profusion of baskets, bouquets, and wreaths – in every imaginable combination and color – that had been delivered. She'd been remembered by all he friends, every organization she'd ever volunteered with, and even our friends in Chicago. Garrett and Seth, my assistant and her family, and even the company I worked for had ll sent some type of arrangement. We'd just reached the end of the last row when the door opened behind us.

Mike entered the chapel, an attractive brunette next to him. He made sure the door had closed securely before he walked toward where Edward and I stood. He shook our hands, and then introduced his wife Lauren to us.

"It's my pleasure to meet you; Makenna spoke very highly of both of you." She clasped our hands, offering a reassuring smile. "Your grandmother was a lovely woman; she'll be sorely missed, not only by her friends and family, but also this community."

I nodded, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. Mike noticed and patted my arm, then escorted his wife over to pay their respects to Nan, giving me a few minutes to compose myself. Edward's hand tightened around mine and I turned to give him a grateful look. We leaned into each other, saying nothing, while the music quietly played on, the lyrics holding the promise of hope. Clearing his throat to get our attention, Mike approached us again.

"Before we allow everyone in, I wanted to take a minute to go over how we'll handle things today. At the top of the hour, the doors of the chapel will be closed, signaling the start of the service."

We listened patiently while he outlined the sequence of events that Nan had planned, including the song placement and what order everyone would speak in. Only Mike, Edward and I would be offering eulogies, for which I found myself grateful. I doubted I'd be able to keep my emotions in check long enough to sit through countless numbers of tributes that praised how wonderful Nan had been. More than anyone, I knew what an amazing person my grandmother was. Mike paused, checking his notes before he continued.

"When Carlisle has finished speaking, I have a brief letter from Makenna to her family and friends. Do either of you have any questions?" We both answered in the negative. "Then, I'm going to allow Tyler to open the doors. The first row has been reserved for you, if you would prefer to sit while Makenna's visitation occurs."

Mike waited for us to take our seats, before walking over to knock lightly on the door. Tyler eased it open to peek inside. He and Mike spoke in low voices, then the doors were fully opened to allow the stream of visitors in. For the next hour, Edward and I accepted their condolences, smiling through anecdotes and memories they shared about Nan. Lauren stopped to ask us if we need a drink of water, and then stayed to offer her support, joined not longer after by Mike. More than one curious glance was shot at mine and Edward's clasped hands, but we were spared any censure out of respect for Nan's memory and the presence of her pastor behind us. The line slowly began to trickle down until there were larger gaps between each mourner. Just when I thought I couldn't sit another minute, Mike patted our shoulders.

"It's time, boys."

Mike stepped away and walked to the podium. Once he'd settled his notes in front of him, he nodded toward the door and the opening strains of Garth Brooks' _The River_ filled the air. Nan had always insisted it would be played when she passed; her request had been honored. When the music ended, Mike turned on his microphone and opened the service.

"On behalf of Makenna Charles' family, I'd like to thank you all for attending today, to help us honor the memory of a woman who gave so much to her friends, family, and community, but expected so little in return.

"I first met Makenna five years ago, when I assumed the position of lead pastor at her church. My wife and I were new to the area, having just moved from East Coast. Makenna was the first visitor we welcomed into the parsonage; she soon became an extension of our family. From the first time we talked, she challenged me on issues of faith I'd always considered cut and dried. The cause closest to her heart, the one she most passionately fought for, was gay rights. Because, you see, Makenna had confronted that intolerance head-on when it touched her own family." I bent my head, tears clouding my vision, at the memory of Nan staring down anyone who'd dared say anything against me. Edward shifted his hold on my hand and lifted his free hand to rub comforting circles between my shoulders.

"Makenna had a way about her, though when she argued. She never came at you, guns blazing, unless she had the ammunition to back up her arguments, yet she did it in a quiet, unassuming way. You didn't know you'd been beaten until you realized you'd run out of arguments. Honestly, I left that first conversation feeling a bit battered and questioning truisms I'd accepted for years. But I also left it a much wiser man." Shaking my head with a rueful smile, I commiserated. How well I knew exactly what he meant; she'd done it to me often enough through the years.

"While all I had to defend my views were a handful of Old Testament scriptures and the Church's position, Makenna had a full arsenal of New Testament arguments, starting with the most important one of all – Jesus had taught us to love one another, even as we loved ourselves. He never made any exclusions, never singled out one group to be less deserving than another. From there, over the next several months, she walked me through the New Testament, book by book, showing me over and over again where the exhortations of the Lord were that all His children were to be loved equally. That in His sight, we were all His children, without exception. Our first encounter at the parsonage intrigued me, though it didn't initially sway my opinion. After several conversations, I became eager to engage her in debate, charmed by Makenna's keen wit, her knowledge… and her chocolate chip cookies." Edward chuckled quietly, and I couldn't help but smile at the memory of his delight every time a box from Nan would arrive.

"In time I came to realize the truth in her words. We've been granted unconditional love from Our Heavenly Father, through the sacrifice of His Son. Who were we, as simple, flawed humans, to decide if someone was or wasn't worthy of receiving that love? She didn't just come armed with words, either. It was through Makenna that our church became involved with the Gay Christian Network, and began offering counseling services to LGBT members of our church and community, a program Makenna actively led until the time of her death. Her steady faith and solid convictions will be sorely missed."

Mike took a seat in the chair on the dais, his head bowed in prayer while the next song Nan had chosen played. Once it had finished, he returned to the podium.

"At this time, Edward Masen, Makenna's grandson, would like to say a few words in her memory."

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><p><em><strong>Playlist :<strong>_

_**The River by Garth Brooks**_

_**I Will Remember You by Sarah Maclachlan**_

_**With Hope by Steven Curtis Chapman **_

_**I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe**_


	71. Chapter 71

_**Same warnings/disclaimers apply—including the tissue one. **_

_**Song on repeat—**_

_**Another Time, Another Place by Sandi Patty/Wayne Watson **_

_**youtu(DOT)be/Su7blBLEQP0 remove (DOT) replace with .**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-One<strong>

**EPOV**

I swallowed convulsively, filled with a cold wash of apprehension. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and released it in a slow huff.

"From the heart, just like you told me," Carlisle whispered. He tightened his grip for a moment, then released my hand.

I stood and adjusted my suit jacket, reaching into my breast pocket to extract the notes I'd tucked away when we left the house. Walking to the dais, I paused next to Nan's casket. I needed to believe that her unwavering faith had been justified, that God did exist and she now resided with Him. If anyone deserved to be in Heaven, it was someone like Nan, who had thought only of others and given so much of herself. Blinking my eyes against the tears that threatened to fall again, I approached the podium and adjusted the microphone.

"Good afternoon." A low murmur filled the room when those present responded to my greeting. "While I wish I could truly claim Makenna as my grandmother, I only had the honor of having known her for just shy of three years. However, in those three years, she welcomed me into her home, her life, and her heart with more love and acceptance than I could have ever imagined." I paused and looked toward Carlisle who watched me with a soft smile on his perfect lips.

"I came to know Makenna through her grandson Carlisle, when he brought me to meet her shortly after we began dating. To be honest, I'd been very nervous about making the trip, despite Carlisle's repeated reassurances that I had nothing to worry about. My own family's reaction to my coming out had been less than favorable; I didn't see how an older generation would be more understanding. Thankfully, Makenna proved me wrong from the first moment I met her. She and I became very close over the ensuing years and I came to love her as if she were my own grandmother. In her typical fashion, even after Carlisle and I had a falling out earlier this year and separated for a time, we still spoke every week and my boxes of cookies never stopped arriving." I looked down and shook my head, taking a minute to compose myself while a low rumble of laughter filled the room in response to my comment. My grip tightened on the edge of the podium, the biting pressure of the wood against my palm a needed anchor to curb my grief while I continued.

"Never once, in three years, did Makenna make me feel unwelcome or unloved. If I'd ever had to pinpoint one of her greatest gifts, it would be that she accepted everyone at face value. Nan lived to serve others. Whether it was through the many organizations she devoted her time to, making a meal for a shut-in friend, or offering a shoulder to lean on, she freely gave her time, talent, and energies to make others' lives easier. She had the most generous, giving heart of anyone I had ever met. It's ironic that, in the end, it was that beautiful heart that failed." I cleared my throat and stared at a smoke alarm on the back wall. I knew if I met anyone's gaze, I'd never finish.

"But, even more than her open acceptance, Nan's unwavering faith truly defined her. Her deep, abiding love for a God I never understood sustained her through times of anxiety and doubt. I never once saw her fret over situations others would've considered untenable. She always believed God would find a way to bring the good out of any problem, and that every circumstance came about through His will. Even since her death, we've repeatedly seen small examples of her enduring faith." My voice cracked, while heavy tears slowly spilled from the corners of my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I found the strength to finish. "If, in fact, there is a Heaven, I can't think of anyone more deserving than Nan to be an angel. She watched over us all in life, it's only fitting she be allowed to do so after her death. I'm certain she was welcomed with open arms and the words, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

I stepped away from the podium and picked up one of the roses from the table behind it. After swiping my arm across my eyes, I walked over to the casket and laid the rose alongside the pillow that Nan's head rested on. With one last look, I whispered "We love you, goodbye," and returned to where Carlisle stood waiting. Walking into his hug, I murmured, "You're turn," then let him go and returned to my seat. Mike rested his hand on my shoulder, while Lauren handed me a tissue and patted my arm. I nodded my thanks and prepared myself to listen to Carlisle's tribute.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thank you so much to everyone who managed to find the last chapter and review, even with FF being in fail mode. I apologize for the missed updates, but once FF got its shit together, I had just received word that one of my oldest friends, someone I have known for nearly thirty years, had passed away. While she'd been ill for quite some time, she'd just undergone a successful liver transplant and was about to come home from the hospital, when she suddenly suffered a brain aneurysm. While writing this has proven cathartic, it unfortunately took me three days to get it out. <strong>_


	72. Chapter 72

_**Hoping FF is working when I upload this. Several authors have been on the verge of hari-kari due to the site's fuckery this week, but it seems like it's died down now, so I'm going to give posting a shot. **_

_**Song for this chapter:**_

_**Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) by Chris Tomlin**_

_**Youtu(DOT)be/Y-4NFvI5U9w replace (DOT) with .**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Two<strong>

**CPOV**

I found it almost impossible to meet Edward's gaze while he spoke, knowing that doing so would result in one or both of us losing our composure. Instead, I stared at a pastoral picture on the wall over his shoulder, the heartfelt words of his recollections of Nan repeatedly driving home the message that she was really gone. Never again would we pull into the driveway at two in the morning, see a light turn on in the living room and her sleepy face peer through the curtains, before she'd run out to great us. No more phone calls that lasted for hours and talked about nothing, other than to make sure the only family we had left knew how much they meant to us. Her wise counsel, unwavering support, and unconditional love: all gone in the blink of an eye.

When Edward spoke of the welcome God had prepared for Nan, my breath caught and I pressed my thumbs into the corners of my closed eyes to stem the heavy tears that spilled over. Lauren placed a tissue in my hand, squeezing my fingers to offer comfort. I murmured my thanks and wiped my face, then stood to wait for Edward. In front of Nan's friends and church, I hugged the man who had been my rock. If they couldn't accept us, having known Nan and her convictions, it was their issue to deal with; I needed his strength. Only Edward fully understood what losing Nan meant to me. He leaned close for a minute, whispered it was my turn, then let me go.

With even, measured steps, I walked toward the dais, my eyes fixed on the casket, wanting it to be a bad dream. In a flash, all that had happened since I'd received the phone call wound through my mind; and Nan's admonitions all my life about God's plans being beyond the understanding of man were finally clear. I shook my head at the realization. Stopping in front of the podium, I removed the notes I'd made and laid them in front of me. With a deep sigh, I looked up and scanned the expectant faces in front of me, before settling on Edward's familiar one. He inclined his head in encouragement.

"Makenna Charles was more than my grandmother. She'd also been my mother, my father, and my closest confidante. When my parents died, she made a place for me in her home and her life. Never once did she treat me like a burden or an inconvenience. In fact, I can recall someone once making a comment about how generous it was of her to take me in. By the time Nan finished dressing the woman down, I knew, in no uncertain terms, that she hadn't just provided me with a house, she'd given me a home." Pausing, I looked down, the words on the papers n front of me swimming through the sheen of tears. I tightened my hold on the edges of the wooden stand to keep me grounded.

"Nan lived her life with a strong, unfailing faith in the Lord. She rose early every morning to spend time alone in prayer before she started her day, and would end it in the same way. She turned her yard into an intricate garden, creating a place where she said she always felt the closest to Him. It wasn't uncommon for me to come home to find her sitting in a quiet corner, lost in reflection. Her sanctuary became mine." I allowed myself to smile at the many memories I had from Nan's garden. "It was there that a scared little boy found comfort from his grief, a teen found courage to face growing up, and a young man found the strength to be true to who he was. While I may not have adhered to all the tenets she raised me with, I won't deny that a comforting presence lingered over our sanctuary."

My grandmother was strong willed, some might even have called her opinionated," several people chuckled, and a few hid smiles behind their hands, "but I don't think anyone can deny her generous heart. If something needed to be done, she did it – she didn't waste time waiting to see if someone else would. This was never truer, than when it came to her community. While she couldn't do everything she wanted for every cause she championed, she found a way to offer support to the best of her abilities." Taking a step back for a minute, I drew in a deep breath before I continued.

"At seventeen, after years of questioning myself and my feelings about others, I accepted that I was a homosexual. While I knew what the Church's position was with regards to homosexuality, I never once doubted that my grandmother would still love me. I only worried that she would face censure from her friends and, more importantly her church family. Once I'd told her, Nan immediately assured me that her love and support would never change. She also dismissed my concerns with regards to her friends, asserting that if they were truly Christians, they'd know they had no right to judge, only to love. From that moment on, she committed her time and talents to supporting the many people in the LGBT community who weren't fortunate enough to receive the same support she'd given me." From the corner of my eye, I saw Mike nodding his head in agreement, a reflective smile on his face.

"Despite going away to college and settling into a new life in Chicago, I still nurtured the relationship I shared with my grandmother. I sought Nan's wisdom, valuing her input while I weighed decisions in my life; and I shared my achievements with her, knowing they made her proud of the man she'd raised." I looked at Edward. His green eyes met mine, filled with love and compassion, and a slow blush filled his cheeks at my next words. "I also called her when I fell in love, eager to share everything I could about Edward. While I'd hoped for her blessing, I never expected the genuine love and affection that developed between the two most important people in my life. Nan truly considered Edward her grandson, welcoming him into our little family with open arms. Edward reciprocated that love, and would often go to her when he needed advice, too. They couldn't have been any closer if there had been a blood relation."

"Nan has a plaque that hangs near her front door; it reads, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." She told me once that she'd placed it there as a reminder that, no matter what happened during the course of her life, God's hand was in it all. Looking back over her life, I do believe she served a higher purpose, and she did so with all her heart. I can only hope that the memories of the life she led can inspire others to make a difference, too."

Bowing my head, I turned away from the podium and picked up the rose that had been left for me. I released the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding in a shaky sigh, and walked to where Nan lay. Tears streamed down my face unchecked while I stared at the familiar face that I'd never see light up again with the joy that radiated from deep within her heart. With a trembling hand, I placed the rose next to Edward's while I clenched the side of the casket with the other one.

The words of a remade version of _Amazing Grace_ filled the air; the song unable to cover the faint sniffles from those who were crying. Even though I knew it was selfish, I wanted to beg her to wake up, to come back. Most of all, I didn't want to walk away. I felt a broad hand come to rest on my back, then slide around my waist. I leaned against Edward's familiar warmth, turning my face into the front of his suit jacket.

"Come on, babe," he murmured. When I didn't move, he spoke again, is voice low and only for my ears, "She's not here anymore, Carlisle. Nan's spirit is gone; this is only a symbol of who she was. The best part, the most important part of her, still lives with us; inside our hearts. We don't have to let her go, and we never have to say goodbye."

I nodded, looked at her one more time, then let him lead me away.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Don't forget that an outtake of this story will be donated to the Fandom for Ovarian Cancer Charity compilation, created to honor a member of our fandom who is battling this disease. <strong>_

_**More information is available at: **_**fandomforovariancancer(DOT)blogspot(DOT)com**


	73. Chapter 73

_**Hello my darlings! I'm sorry I was gone so long. I got incredibly sick Easter weekend, then had to meet deadline on a book manuscript. Our boys are back, though, and ready to tell you the rest of their story. Thank you so much to those of you who have stuck by us and continue to review, recommend, and love on Carlisle and Edward with me. **_

_**Also, don't forget the Fandom for Ovarian Cancer Compilation will be wrapping up soon and an outtake of Lost Highway is being donated. **_

_**As always, I don't own them, they own me, and I still don't use a beta for this story. I freely acknowledge that there will be mistakes, and I own those. **_

_**This chapter is (hopefully) the last one that will need a tissue warning.**_

_**Songs for the chapter – **_

_**Amazing Love by Newsboys **_

_**Broken Hallelujah & God Speaking by Mandisa**_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Three<strong>

**CPOV**

Once Edward and I had returned to our seats, Mike stood and returned to the podium. Shuffling his notes, he lifted an envelope from the pile. While he opened it and removed the paper inside, he addressed the room.

"Those of you who knew Makenna well, also know that she never missed an opportunity to speak her mind or make an appeal on behalf of the causes she championed. With that in mind, I'm sure it will come as no surprise, that even after her death; she still had something to say." Mike paused to allow the twitter of laughter to die down. "Last year, after Makenna had been hospitalized with pneumonia, she came to me and asked for my help in getting her affairs in order. Her biggest concern was that she didn't want to leave all the details of her funeral to Carlisle, not when he lived so far away and she knew her passing would be difficult for him. Truly, it was typical Makenna – she never wanted anyone to be inconvenienced because of her, least of all her beloved grandson." Several pairs of kind eyes shifted my direction and I fidgeted under the unwanted attention. "In the arrangements Makenna gave me, she left a letter with express instructions that it be read at her memorial service." Mike unfolded the letter and began to read.

_My dear friends and family –_

_In my many years on this earth, I have seen a number of events that defined the twentieth century. As a child, I lived through the end of the Great Depression, and can remember when a thin broth and day-old bread were all my mother had to feed a family of four – but she made it work. I watched a boy I love go off to war and come home a man. When he returned, I married him and in time gave birth to our only child, a daughter. I buried my husband and soul mate when I was only forty-eight years old. Just a few short years later, I buried my daughter and her husband, too. And then, my life started all over again, when I took in their orphaned son and tried to show him all the love of a family, though there was only one heart to give it to him. While I know Carlisle still mourns the loss of his parents, though it was my hope that through the passing years, my love became enough. Through it all, my faith in God's will sustained me. I never questioned His plan, but did the best I could with the tools He gave me._

_When Carlisle came to me as a young man and told me he was gay, I must admit that my faith wavered. While his announcement didn't make me love him any less, I questioned why God would put this young man, who had already been through so much, in a position that would expose him to hatred and censure. I went to bed troubled, and woke the same way the next morning. In hopes of finding an answer, I retreated to my garden, and while I prayed, I sought discernment. When I opened my Bible to the day's devotional, I was pointed to a passage in Scripture where the risen Lord questions Peter. Three times, He asked Peter if he loved Him, with the entreaty after each that Peter teach His sheep. _

_While I know the passage has been pointed to as a demonstration of Peter being forgiven for denying the Lord, my focus was drawn more to what he was asked to do. Teach His sheep. Was I being given a new direction for my life? Could one old woman change hatred to acceptance? I knew, no matter what course I took, I needed to educate myself. Through my involvement with PFLAG, I eventually became a mentor, a counselor, and an advocate. I found my voice and tried to teach, if not acceptance, at least tolerance. While people listened, not everyone heard. I'd like to think, though, that in some small way, I've made a difference, so I'm going to teach, one last time._

_We are all God's children. He excludes none, and offers salvation to all equally. When Jesus took the cross, He did so equally, for every one of us. Who are we, as his disobedient children, to question who deserves His love? Maybe we need to examine why God has decided that some of His children should live outside society's perception of right and wrong. Maybe, just maybe, it is the rest of us who are being tested. His two greatest commandments were to love Him above all others and to love each other as we love ourselves. Do we hate ourselves, or do we seek love? Do we pass judgment on ourselves, or do we seek absolution? Do we shun ourselves, or do we seek acceptance? How can we offer any less to another? _

_For my grandson, I offer the following poem: _

_Do not stand at my grave and weep  
>I am not there; I do not sleep.<br>I am a thousand winds that blow,  
>I am the diamond glints on snow,<br>I am the sun on ripened grain,  
>I am the gentle autumn rain.<br>When you awaken in the morning's hush  
>I am the swift uplifting rush<br>Of quiet birds in circled flight.  
>I am the soft stars that shine at night.<br>Do not stand at my grave and cry,  
>I am not there; I did not die.<em>

_I love you, Carlisle. I am so proud of the man you've become. Thank you for filling my life with so much joy and giving me purpose. The greatest honor you can ever do my memory is to live a life full of love and happiness with someone who will give you the same. _

Edward clasped my hand in one of his the entire time Mike spoke, the other made comforting circles on my back. My eyes never broke contact with Nan's casket, the quiet tears falling unchecked while the words she had left for us lingered in the air. Even from the grave, she had made her point – one last time.

Mike folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope, then laid it down on top of his Bible. Laying his hand over top of it, he bowed his head in silent reverence for the woman who had written it. He took a minute to compose himself, then returned his attention to the assembled guests.

"A small luncheon in Makenna's honor is being held in the reception hall at the church for those who would care to join us. Her family and I would be honored to see you there."

The last song that Nan had chosen began to play while Mike returned to where Lauren sat next to me. He paused to shake mine and Edward's hands, murmuring his condolences again, then took the seat next to his wife. From the corner of my eye, I witnessed the casual intimacy that so many couples took for granted. Lauren leaned into Mike, resting her head against his shoulder, while he encircled her shoulder with his arm. He whispered into her hair, then brushed a tear from her cheek.

And we sat, two very different couples, with one undeniable commonality – we deeply loved the person we were with. We also all mourned the loss of a woman who had taught over and over that love does not know boundaries.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Poem by Mary Frye, 1932<strong>_

_**The Hop Against Homophobia starts Thursday, May 17 on**** the International Day Against Homophobia. There are over 230 authors, publishers and review sites involved in the hop,** **all with individual give-aways. **_

_**All of the participants were encouraged to acknowledge the International Day Against Homophobia in their posts on that day, whether it be in addressing the overall issue of homophobia, the relaying of personal experiences, the importance of getting the word out about bullying, helplines, etc.**_

_**The Hop runs May 17-20 and I hope you'll all hop on by and remember those who are affected by homophobia on that day and every other day, as well. Please follow the link to all the fabulous participants helping to make the first year of this Hop extraordinary. Find more information at : **_**hopagainsthomophobia(DOT)blogspot(DOT)ca**

_**I want to thank everyone who submitted nominations on my behalf to the Wordsmith Awards. When the final nominations were posted, my stories and characters had received a total of four nominations on this penname, and three on my other one. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your love and devotion to these characters that like to play in my mind. It means the world to me that they've touched you enough that you feel they are worthy of being called the best. **_

_**Lost Highway has been nominated for Best Edward and Best Slash Story, Luck of the Irish has been nominated for Best Emmett and Best Drabble, and the two lovely ladies who pre-read One Night Alone have both been nominated for their incredible work on that story. **_

_**A list of all nominated stories and authors can be found on the awards' blog at: **_**wordsmithawards(DOT)blogspot(DOT)com**

_**Voting open tomorrow, please go and vote for your favorites. All of these authors are more than deserving of their nominations and the best way to show your appreciation is through reviews and awards. They mean the world to us. **_

_**And all that being said, I'm going to shut up and let y'all move on. **_


	74. Chapter 74

_**I'm hoping my impromptu review replies didn't send anyone into an early grave yesterday. I'd hate for y'all to miss the rest of the story; guess I didn't think that plan through too well. **_

_**Standard warnings/disclaimers apply – aw hell, it's been 74 chapters, do I really need to repeat them again? **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Four<strong>

**CPOV**

Once the final notes of the song faded away, the silence in the room became almost deafening, broken only by the occasional sniffle. Everyone remained seated, waiting for me to make the first move. I took a deep breath and stood, Edward grasping my elbow when I wavered.

"Steady, love," he murmured, slipping his hand down my arm to take my hand.

Without a backward glance, we turned and walked down the center aisle, Mike and Lauren right behind us. Reaching the common area, Tyler passed us the small registry that had been signed by those in attendance, and told us he'd see us at the church. Once we'd cleared the front door, I pulled the keys from my trouser pocket and passed them to Edward.

"Please – do you mind driving? I – I'd feel more comfortable if I didn't get behind the wheel of a car right now."

He took them with his free hand, pointed them at the car to unlock it, and opened my door for me before walking around to the driver's side. Calling up the directions I'd programmed in the GPS, he pulled out of the parking lot, just as the other guests began exiting the door of the funeral home. I leaned my head back on the seat and closed my eyes, welcoming the comforting warmth of Edward's hand when he took hold of mine.

In no time at all, we arrived at the church, well ahead of everyone else. I made no immediate move to exit the car, instead tightening my fingers around Edward's. I felt him shift in the seat next to me, then the feather-light stroke of his fingers down my cheek.

"You okay, babe?" My eyes flickered open to see the concern in his emerald depths. "Just a little longer, Car. Can you hang on just a bit more for Nan? If you can't, I'll go in and tell Mike you couldn't handle any more and I'm taking you home. Whatever you want; it's your call."

I reached over and brushed a shock of hair back from his face, then rested my hand on his arm.

"No, I can do it. I just needed a moment. It's all so exhausting, you know?" I looked out the windshield to see the cars beginning to arrive. "I know they mean well, and really – what do you say?" I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath, before returning my gaze to his. "Everything sounds trite, no matter what words you choose, but a person can only hear 'I'm sorry' so many times before it becomes an underlying, annoying buzz that won't go away. They have all lost someone special, too. Maybe Nan didn't mean as much to them as she did to me, but she was still important to their lives. So, for them, and her, I can do this."

He nodded, and heedless of the people walking past the car, leaned over to press his lips to mine. The gentle touch brought tears to my eyes again, ones he kissed away before leaning back enough to look at me again.

"Ready?"

I shook my head. "No, but let's go." I squeezed his hand and kissed him back, then opened the car door.

The luncheon wasn't as painful as I'd feared it would be, but it wasn't a walk in the park, either. I met the woman who had assisted Nan with the church's outreach program, along with a few of the people she had mentored who had also moved on to become volunteers. Over and over, I heard what a beautiful soul she had, and how much she would be missed. I murmured responses, not sure what to say. Apparently, my replies sufficed, because no one looked at me askance. Through it all, Edward stayed at my side, accepting handshakes and hugs without complaint; while he watched to make sure I didn't reach my limit and crack.

Eventually, the press of people began to thin, and the caterers began to clear things away. Mike had checked on us frequently throughout the afternoon, and after seeing a couple parishioners out, he joined Edward and me where we sat off to the side. Out of respect, we both stood when he approached.

Laying a hand on my shoulder, he said, "If you're ready to go, Carlisle, I don't think anyone would fault you. Lauren and I can handle the rest from here. I know it's been a haggard few days."

I offered him a grateful smile. "I don't know that I can ever thank you enough for all of your help and support, Mike. I doubt I could have managed it all on my own."

"Well, that thanks rightfully belong to your grandmother; I was merely her messenger. I consider it an honor that she trusted me enough to carry out her wishes. I think she would have been pleased." Mike paused to say goodbye to someone, then returned his attention to us. "Lauren and I would like to have you two over for dinner before you return to Chicago, if you have the time." When I glanced at Edward, Mike rushed to add, "You don't need to answer right now, just give me a call when you have a better idea of your plans. For now, I'll run interference so you guys can head out and get some rest."

True to his word, he cleared a path through the remaining guests to lead us to the door. Lauren met us there, giving Edward and I a hug, and telling us she hoped to see us again before we returned to Chicago. Edward took the wheel again, following the melodic voice of the GPS back to Nan's. He waited at the front bumper of the car for me to join him, then handed me the keys to unlock the front door.

Stepping into the house, I heard the faint strains of a lilting flute, instead of the silence I'd expected to be greeted with. I turned to face Edward where he stood in front of the closed door, a look of uncertainty marring his face.

"I didn't want you to come home to silence. I dug through Nan's CDs yesterday, and found the _Somewhere in Time_ soundtrack. I thought –"

His words were cut off when I crossed the room and pulled him close, my mouth covering his in a heartfelt kiss. I cradled the back of his head, my fingers twined through his hair; while my lips moved over his, my tongue slipping between them when they parted. I pulled away for a breath of air, still hovering close to place a line of kisses across his cheek to his ear.

"I love you," I whispered, resting my forehead against his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around me, and held me close. "I love you, too."

Then, stepping back, Edward took my hand in his and led me wordlessly toward the stairs. Reaching our room, he pushed the door shut, then unbuttoned my suit jacket. Sliding it from my shoulders, he laid it across the chaise before moving on to the buttons on the cuffs of my shirt. He slid the knot out of my tie next, placing it with my jacket, and unfastened my collar.

When I lifted my hands to reach for his tie, he stopped me, grasping them in his.

"Please, let me do this." His voice cracked with emotion. "I need to take care of you, Car…I need it for me."

Meeting his stare, my breath hitched at the intensity that filled his eyes. Unable to speak, I swallowed and nodded. Whatever he needed, he could take. He was my life. My heart belonged to him, only him, now and forever.

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><p><em><strong>Rachmanioff Rhapsody on a Theme by Paganini and John Barry for the Somewhere in Time soundtrack (truly the most romantic movie ever made) www(DOT)youtube(DOT)comwatch?v=RgtEUr_n9vM&feature=related**_


	75. Chapter 75

_**Oh look, an update! Sorry for the gap – RL has not been kind, as a few of you who are friends with me on FB know. I'm still hanging in there, though, and writing when I can. **_

_**Due to the current fuckery on FF, I'm not sure how in jeopardy my fics are. Several good friends and amazing writers have had stories pulled thus far, and Im trying to prepare for worst case scenario. I spent a few days setting up new accounts on other sites. Within the next week or so, I hope to have all of my stories set up and current on Archive of Our Own, Freedom Fan Fiction Writers, FreeWriters and Readers, TWCS, and TwiWrite. You can find me there if anything happens. **_

_**Same warnings/disclaimers. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Five<strong>

**EPOV**

I'd meant what I said. If Carlisle had given me the slightest hint that he couldn't handle the luncheon, I'd have had him back to Nan's double quick. Watching him move through his grief over the previous few days had shown me a vulnerability I'd never seen in Carlisle before. It left me feeling helpless, a feeling that only increased as the afternoon progressed. He'd plastered on a polite smile, but if anyone had bothered to really look, they could have seen the abject anguish that filled his eyes. I understood why he did it, though, and I admired his strength all the more.

I managed to get him to sit down after the first hour, enticing him with a plate of food. I'd kept the choices light, not knowing if his nerves had wreaked havoc with his stomach. Even leading him to an out of the way table had done little to stem the steady flow of traffic, though. Being the gentleman Nan had raised him to be, Carlisle stood whenever anyone paused to talk to him. Each time, he moved a little slower, the grief weighed a little heavier, and shadows haunted his amber eyes.

By the time people started to leave, I was ready to drag Carlisle out of the church – forcibly, if necessary. The emotional and mental toll of the week had finally worn him down and he looked ready to drop. Mike's appearance saved me the trouble.

I saw the empathy in Mike's eyes when he suggested Carlisle and I could leave. Grateful for the benevolent pastor's intercessions, I shot him a thankful smile. Carlisle surprised me when he deferred to my choice on Mike's dinner invitation. I had no intentions of turning it down, if the time we had left in Arizona would allow. Mike and Lauren had been beyond helpful to Carlisle, and Nan had valued their friendship – if for no other reason than that, I would have endured the evening. I, too, had also come to value Mike's steady, gentle presence and unconditional friendship.

Exiting the church, I didn't bother to ask Carlisle if he wanted to drive. Once he'd settled in the passenger's seat, he'd rested his head back and closed his eyes. My eyes drifted to him more than once on the trip home. He'd twined his fingers in mine the minute I'd removed my hand from the steering wheel, and our hands rested on the seat on my side of the center console. When I released his hand to turn the car into Nan's driveway, his eyes had opened and he sighed at the empty driveway.

I handed him the keys to unlock the door, then hung back so he could enter the house first. I didn't know how he'd react to my leaving the music on, but I'd had to do something. The thought of him having to step back into Nan's silent house after the memorial service had eaten at me. In the time I'd known her, Nan's house had never been quiet. Picking the right music had been a little more difficult, but when I'd stumbled across the _Somewhere in Time_ soundtrack, I was reminded of one of our early dates.

Carlisle had invited me to join him for an evening of the Symphony in the Park. What I hadn't expected was the decadent picnic we shared under the stars, while the sounds of Rachmaninoff filled the air from the pavilion where the orchestra played. He'd told me Rhapsody on a Theme by Paganini was a personal favorite, due to his grandmother's love of a movie that had come out in the early eighties – a movie Nan had later introduced me to when she'd found out I'd never heard of it.

Thinking the soundtrack might invoke happier memories for him, I'd turned it on a continuous loop before joining him at the car to attend the memorial service, but seeing him come to an abrupt stop had me second guessing my decision. Closing the door behind me, I hesitated, not sure if I should say something. Carlisle turned to look at me, an indiscernible expression on his face.

I cleared my throat to remove the lump that had settled there, before trying to explain why, but Carlisle didn't give me the opportunity to finish my sentence. Reaching me in two steps, he pulled me away from the door I'd been leaning against, and captured my mouth is a kiss full of longing and love. He pulled away, trailing across my jaw, before whispering in my ear.

"I love you." Carlisle's head dropped to my shoulder.

I held him close, breathing him in and offering the same, before leading him upstairs to our room. I needed to hold him, to love him, to show him that no matter what, he'd always have me.

With sure fingers, I removed his suit jacket, then turned my attention to the buttons at his cuff, before removing his tie and opening his collar. When he reached for my tie, I grabbed his wrists to stop him. He looked up at me in confusion.

"Please, let me do this," I choked out, hating that my voice broke when I spoke. "I need to take care of you, Car…I need it for me."

Wordlessly, he nodded and placed his hands on my arms, rubbing them along the merino wool sleeves while I returned my attention to his shirt. Once I'd finished with the buttons, I removed my own jacket and tie, adding them to the pile with Carlisle's. Our belts followed next, before I knelt to untie his shoes and set them aside, along with his socks. Leaning back on my heels, I reached for his waistband, lowering the zipper, then sliding his trousers down his legs to add them to the pile. He rested his hands on my shoulders to hold his balance, but made no other move to stop me or interfere again.

When Carlisle stood clad only in an undershirt and boxer briefs, I leaned up to wrap my arms around his waist. I closed my eyes and rested my head against his taut stomach, breathing him in. I felt tentative fingers comb through my hair and I sighed at the sensation. Returning to my feet, I grasped the hem of his shirt and drew it over his head, then led him to the edge of the bed. Once he'd sat down, I divested myself of my own clothes, before returning to kneel between his knees.

I reached for his hand, lifting it to my lips to brush a kiss across his open palm. Carlisle shivered in response, his amber eyes darkening at the sensations my simple gesture evoked. Fascinated, I watched his tongue dart out to moisten his lips, before leaning up and claiming a kiss. My hands pressed into his thighs, my fingers seeking purchase while I leveraged my body closer and probed the recesses of his mouth. The kiss sought – not demanded, tasted – not devoured. With each pass of my tongue, brush of my lips, I tried to show him what his presence in my life meant for me, what I wanted to be for him.

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><p><em><strong>Yeah, I know – cockblock — but not really, I promise. I'll try not to go so long in between, especially not with smexin on the horizon. <strong>_


	76. Chapter 76

_**Sorry for the long delay—I won't bore you with excuses and platitudes. I will say, though, I started a new term for school, and given the work load of the past two weeks, I am making no promises on wen updates will happen. **_

_**For those of you who drifted over and read Transparent, thank you so much! The epilogue is almost done, and will—hopefully – post sometime this coming week. **_

_**This chapter is dedicated to odiejae – she knows why, and I can never thank her enough. It's absolutely perfect, love. **_

_**Same warnings/disclaimers apply.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Six<strong>

**EPOV**

Taking my time – savoring every inch of skin, every sound that escaped him, every arching movement – I traversed his body. Flat caramel nipples pebbled in response to a stroke of my tongue. The muscles of his abdomen contracted under my lips, his thighs clenching, fighting against the urge to lift his hips into me. Carlisle's breathing became ragged, his hands twisting in my hair then gripping my shoulders; whether to halt my movements or offer encouragement, I had no idea which – still I continued to worship him.

"Edward, I –" His voice broke when I leaned back.

"I've got you, babe. I'm with you for as long as you have me," I paused, waiting for the emotion clogging my throat to pass, before continuing, "and I'll fight like hell if you try to send me away."

I strained to hear his whispered response.

"Never. You are my life now."

His hands dug into my arms, pulling me up until we were eye level. Tentative, almost as if he feared I'd disappear from right in front of him, Carlisle leaned in, his eyes never leaving mine, not closing until his mouth slanted across mine. Love – sorrow – desperation – all were poured into me. A few stray tears escaped to roll down our cheeks, their salty moisture caught up in the fervent kisses we shared.

"Let me love you." I murmured against his mouth. I didn't want his permission; I needed his acquiescence.

I rested my hand against Carlisle's chest, pressing him back to the bed, while I hovered between his thighs. Once he'd fully reclined, I slid my fingers into the waistband of his boxer briefs, folding them down to his shaft. His gaze burned hot on my skin, searing me with the passion I knew I'd find if I looked up. I also knew if I met his eyes, I would never be able to maintain the tenuous grip I had on my control.

Rubbing my hands along his quadriceps, I felt the roll of the muscles tensing under my palms. I brought my lips to his left hipbone, drawing the skin between my lips and sucking until I tasted the metallic tang of the skin bruising. Carlisle flinched but didn't pull away, surprising me with his willingness to allow my raging emotions to sweep away common sense.

_He needs this, too. _

Lips and tongue explored their way across the quivering skin of his groin, marking his other hip the same way, before returning to the thatch of trimmed curls at the base of his shaft. Inhaling deep, I drew Carlisle's essence into my lungs, letting it fill my senses and swamp me with remembered intimate moments from our past and unbridled passion for the ones yet to come. I cupped his engorged flesh through the cotton fabric, felt him twitch against my hand. My fingers traced the outline of his cock, feeling each ridged vein until I reached the mushroomed head. His hips flexed, then relaxed. Placing my mouth over him, I breathed warm air through the cotton filter, the condensing moisture from my breath combining with his pre-ejaculate to dampen the fabric further.

Dissatisfied, needing to feel his skin under my lips, I tugged the fabric down, stripping his briefs off his legs and tossing them aside. Sliding my hands back up his legs, I pushed his knees apart. Starting at the pulse point behind his knee, I trailed moist kisses back to his groin, where his thick length jutted proudly from its nest.

Carlisle had leaned up on his elbows to watch my progress, anticipation tuning his body tighter than the strings of a violin. One touch, one stroke, would have him falling apart. I knew it – and reveled in the knowledge. I shivered from the passionate fire in his amber eyes, their golden hues gone almost obsidian with the depth of his desires.

'Edward . . . please . . ."

His plea remained unfinished, ending in a moan when the molten heat of my mouth surrounded him. My thumbs pressed into the base of his shaft, my forefingers surrounding him to hold him upright, while I worked my mouth up and down his length. On each stroke, I took him deeper into my throat, the wet suckling sounds competing with the hum in my chest and Carlisle's impassioned moaning. His balls tightened under my thumb, his skin flushed with the blood rushing to his groin at his impending orgasm. His salty tang coated my tongue as it seeped from his slit. My need to be buried deep inside of him when he came warred with the desire to devour everything he had to offer. The aching throb of my dick solved the dilemma for me.

Licking and sucking my way back to the flushed tip, I released him with a muted pop. Sliding my hands under his buttocks, I pushed him further up the bed. Once he'd settled, I reached over his body to rummage in the night table drawer, pulling back with a condom and bottle of lube in hand. Dropping them onto the bed, I lifted his ass again to ease my access while I prepped him Met with the enticing sight of the furled pink bud of his opening, I couldn't resist the urge to taste him further. Pressing his hips toward his chest, I dragged my tongue from the dimpled curvature of the cleft of his ass to his tight sac. Carlisle's guttural moaning of my name encouraged me to do it again.

"You want more baby? You want to feel my tongue buried inside you? Tell me what you want, babe; tell me what you need."

Carlisle swallowed convulsively, his breath leaving him in a rush when he tried to answer. Without waiting for the words, I spread his cheeks, my thumbs massaging the outer edges of his hole, while I tongued the quivering flesh. Over and over I tasted him, the musky scent of our combined arousal a heady aphrodisiac. My thumbs pressed harder, working the saliva across his skin and pressing into him, preparing him for the twisting thrust of my tongue.

Drawing his legs closer to his chest, Carlisle fisted the comforter, his head thrashing across the pillows behind him. When I pulled back for air, I alternated my thumbs, slipping them inside his hole to gently stretch the rigid muscles. I continued to taste him, saliva coating his crack, his body writhing in anticipation, until he begged me for more.

"Fuck! Edward . . . I . . . fuck, baby . . . Now, Edward! I need you inside me now," Carlisle stuttered, his voice thick with emotion.

Sheathing myself, I smeared lube along my turgid shaft, then dragged my fingers across his hole once more, before working them in to ensure he'd been fully prepped. I curled them against the fleshy spot of his gland, watching from under hooded lids when Carlisle's hips lifted of the bed to thrust against me. A throaty groan tore from his chest, and ribbons of come erupted from his untouched cock.

Not waiting for him to come down, I aligned myself at his opening, entering him in one deep thrust that had him shuddering again. Leaning over, I gathered Carlisle to me and captured his mouth. He wrapped his legs around my hips, his heels digging into my ass, while he lifted his hips into mine. With slow, angled thrusts, I stroked his sweet spot over and over, bringing his cock back to life with the continued friction.

"No one, Car –," I huffed, my words broken by the exertions of my body. "No one else, ever. Only you . . . babe, only you."

My lips danced across his throat, tasting the briny sweat that glistened on his skin. His body throbbed around me, the muscles clenching and drawing me in deeper, dragging me to the edge, then releasing me, only to pull me even closer. Carlisle's fingers dug into my back, the blunt, manicured nails raking thin furrows down my spine. Sliding my arms under him, I gripped his shoulders, pulling him hard against me with each thrust. He reached between us, grasping his cock and stroking in rhythm with the movements of our bodies. My muscles tightened, my toes curling into the mattress with the approaching onslaught of my orgasm.

"Almost there, baby . . . can't. . . not much longer."

Carlisle slid his other hand around my neck, pulling my head down. He kissed my jaw, nipping at the skin underneath. I shifted my hips, dragging his ass up onto my thighs, and he bit into my shoulder, moaning at the increased sensations. I felt him tense under me, and looked down to see the reddened crown of his cock sliding through his fist. The erotic image pushed me over, and my body convulsed, driving me deep inside him while my orgasm wiped through me. A shudder rippled down Carlisle's body, our shouted cries mingling when he found his release once more. I fell over him, landing on my elbows to hold my weight, and stared deep into the shining eyes of my lover. Tears fell from both our eyes, while we struggled to catch our breath in between whispered declarations of love.

I'd meant it. No one else, ever. Carlisle was all I'd ever need.


	77. OUTTAKE: Rhapsody on a Theme: Part One

_**This outtake is dedicated to my lovely friend Mina, and was donated to the Fandom for Ovarian Cancer Compilation. I asked Mina what she wanted to see an outtake of and she asked for Carlisle and Edward's first date. So here you are, darling. Given the size of the outtake, and the normal chapter size for this story, I've spit the outtake into four parts – one a day for the next four days. Also gives me time to knock out these last few chapters while I'm dragging myself through mountains of Literary Theory.**_

_**I hope you all enjoy it. **_

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><p><em><strong>Rhapsody on a Theme: Part One<strong>_

**EPOV**

"Were dragons real?"

"I want a dragon like Hagrid's!"

"The Little Mermaid made girls look stupid. Besides, everyone knows mermaids were really only sea cows."

The voices carried around me, the group of fifth graders that were visiting the Mythic Creatures exhibit in turns excited or bored. I snuck a glimpse at my watch – only one o'clock. Normally, I enjoyed helping out with the school programs I'd designed for the museum, but my mind was nowhere near Exhibition Hall Two. Instead, it kept drifting to the financial district a few blocks away, where my companion for the evening was probably so busy that he hadn't given me a thought all afternoon.

**~~LH~~**

I'd met Carlisle a week prior, when my best friend Seth had dragged me out with him and his newest boyfriend Garrett. Once we'd found a table, I offered to brave the bar to buy the first round of drinks. After checking everyone's preference, I wended my way through the bustling Friday night crowd to the bar stacked three deep with others also unwilling to wait for a waiter or waitress to drift past wherever they had managed to snag a spot to watch the dance floor.

The room pulsated from the pounding bass and swooping lights, bodies writhing in various states of undress on the packed dance floor to a remix of George Michael's _I Want Your Sex. _Subtlety was definitely not a strong point with the DJ or the dancers. Shaking my head at the skinny, barely legal blond twink dancing on a pole next to the bar, I slid under the arm of a guy turning away with a handful of bottles to lean against the gleaming stainless steel bar. My fingers drummed the top in time with the music, while I waited for one of the bartenders to hustle past. After several fruitless attempts to get someone's attention, a cultured voice spoke close to my ear, just barely audible over the music.

"Here let me give it a try. The brunette seems to think I'm interested."

I turned to see a blond gentleman in a dark navy suit, his tie loosened and the collar unbuttoned on his pristine white dress shirt. He lifted a hand, leaning over the bar to catch the muscular bartender's attention. I took advantage of the moment to scope out the Good Samaritan. His blond hair was cut short, pushed off to the side in a natural part. The suit fit him well, obviously tailored, and where his jacket had ridden up, I couldn't miss the way the trousers followed the curve of his trim ass. I pegged him to be a couple years older than me, probably a businessman from one of the many office buildings in the area. Lost in my observations, I didn't hear what he said, only noticed the way his mouth shaped the words.

Leaning closer, I rested my hand on his arm in pretense of holding my balance, "Sorry, I couldn't hear you. What?"

His broad smile travelled to his eyes, deep amber depths tinted with hints of brown and gold. "I said, 'What's your poison?'" He nodded in the direction of the bartender waiting, with an annoyed grimace, for my order.

I quickly placed everyone's orders, the turned to thank him and introduce myself. "Edward Masen."

"Carlisle Cullen." He tilted his head toward a barstool that had just been vacated, then with a wry smile continued, "I'd offer you a seat, but it appears you're here with someone."

"Oh, just some friends." Seeing his interest peak again, I added, "We've got some room, though, if you'd like to join us." The bartender returned with the drinks, and I dropped some money on the counter, then looked at him with a questioning gaze.

"I'm waiting for a text from a friend; he wants to introduce me to the love of his life. Until I hear from him, though, I'd like that." Carlisle picked up his drink, motioning with his free hand, "Lead the way, Edward."

I did, liking the way he didn't shorten my name with any type of a nickname. While Edward was a tad old-fashioned, it was a family name, and I preferred it to any of the diminutive forms that were popular. At one point, I stopped short to let some people pass in front of me, and I felt a warm hand on the center of my back. Carlisle pressed closer to speak to me, the warmth traveling the length of my spine at his proximity.

'Sorry, didn't want to lose you in the crowd."

I nodded in acknowledgement, then pressed forward once the path was clear. When we arrived at the table, we realized we were there with the same people. Garrett and Carlisle worked together, and had become friends through work. Carlisle shed his jacket and tie, settled into the booth next to me, and over the next couple hours we managed to get to know a little more about each other, despite the noise and crowd that surrounded us. By the time we decided to wrap up the evening, I knew I wanted to see him again.

Stepping out into the late Chicago evening, I took a deep breath of the clear air and shook my head at the sight in front of me. Even though it was nearing midnight; the line to get inside still stretched down the block. Garrett stood with his arm draped casually over Seth's shoulder, talking with Carlisle about something from work. Awkwardly, I shifted my weight on the balls of my feet, waiting for a break in the conversation so I could ask Carlisle for his phone number. Seth leveled a knowing grin at me, and for a half second, I worried he might do or say something to embarrass me. I was spared the possibility, though, when Carlisle turned his attention in my direction.

"So, this is that awkward part of the evening where I try to convince you to let me have your number." I didn't miss the hint of hesitation in his voice, his eyes shifting sideways at our friends. "Of course, if you're interested, I know someplace we could go for a late cup of coffee."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Garrett leading Seth away, giving us a modicum of privacy. I fingered my car keys, pausing only a moment before I agreed to join him.


	78. OUTTAKE: Rhapsody on A Theme: Part Two

_**So glad y'all are enjoying the peek back into Edward and Carlisle's beginning.  
><strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Rhapsody on A Theme: Part Two <strong>_

**CPOV**

Our late night coffee turned into an early breakfast, with both of us yawning to greet the arrival of the sun. While I couldn't deny I'd been physically attracted to Edward, over the course of the hours we spent talking I found myself even more entranced by his intelligence. Well-read and literate, he had a deep passion for the arts that I found exhilarating. I'd wanted to invite him back to my place after we ate, drawn to explore the attraction I felt, but I also wanted to savor the newness for a change. At thirty years old, I'd had more than my fair share of one-offs, along with a handful of relationships. Being with Edward was – different.

Both of us had busy, demanding careers, mine even more so since it tied to the various stock markets around the world, and it had been impossible to manage more than a late dinner the Tuesday after we met. It hadn't stopped us from talking almost every night, though. Determined for more, I enlisted Garrett to cover for me if anything important came up so I could slip out of work a little early on Friday. Thankfully, my clients had been disinterested in the market, and I ended up not needing Garrett's help. The lack of activity was in my favor, given that I couldn't seem to focus on anything other than the art historian I'd be spending the evening with.

During the many conversations we'd shared, I'd found out that while Edward preferred current popular music, he wasn't adverse to other genres. In that vein, and in an effort to do something outside the norm for our first date, I'd planned a picnic in the park. The symphony had scheduled an outdoor concert, with Rachmaninoff the featured composer. His symphonies were a personal favorite, after having been exposed to my grandmother's love of his _Rhapsody on a Theme_.

"It's almost five, you taking off soon?"

I swiveled my chair away from the view of downtown, to where Garrett stood in the doorway of my office.

"Yes. Caius said the hamper would be ready for pick up after five, and I'm meeting Edward at the museum at five-thirty." I shut down my laptop, then stood and began packing everything up. "So, Edward said he and Seth have been friends since college, but you two hadn't met yet. I guess it's safe to assume that wasn't a fix-up for the stray single gay friends?"

"No, not hardly," Garrett laughed. "We hadn't been able to co-ordinate getting together before last week, and since I'm planning to ask Seth to move in with me, I wanted to introduce you to him."

"Oh . . . wow. I didn't realize things had progressed that far." Turning off my desk lamp, I joined him at the door. "I suppose congratulations are in order." I clapped him on the back as we walked out.

I paused to wish my assistant a nice weekend, then continued walking to the elevators with Garrett.

"You're putting a lot of effort into this date. You really like him."

"I do. He's fascinating. Most of the guys I've met lately have been vapid, shallow, and obsessed with either their looks or their bank accounts," I paused to press the elevator call button, "but Edward's different. He's confident, without being arrogant, intelligent without being over-bearing. I can actually enjoy talking with him, even if we don't agree on the topic."

The doors opened, interrupting the flow of our conversation. Garrett held the door open while I stepped inside, then offered a parting observation. "You, my friend, have got it bad. I can't wait to hear how things went on Monday." He released the doors, letting them slide shut on any retort I might have made.

**~~LH~~**

I pulled up in front of the museum to find Edward already standing on the steps, engaged in conversation with a petite brunette. Taking advantage of his inattention, I stepped out of my Mercedes, and leaned against the frame to watch him. I admired his trim athletic build, accentuated by the well-fitting khaki dress slacks and forest green polo shirt, and the way the sun glinted off the deep bronze highlights in his unruly hair. His eyes were hidden behind a pair of aviator shades, but I had no problem recalling their vibrant green sparkle that had haunted my dreams for a week.

Edward looked up and, noticing me waiting at the curb, waved in acknowledgment before taking his leave from the young woman. He jogged down the steps while I walked around to the passenger door, relishing the warm smile he offered when he reached my side.

"Ready to relax?" I asked, resting my hand on his arm, not sure how open to PDA he would be right in front of his place of employment. He set that concern to rest by leaning over to brush a kiss across my lips.

"Definitely! I took the train in, so I hope taking me home won't be a problem. The lot closes early, and I didn't want us to have to cut the evening short to retrieve my car."

Reaching around him, I opened the car door. "No, not at all; it'll be my pleasure to take you wherever your heart desires at the end of the evening."

I merged into the traffic on 90, and then jumped over to 94, heading toward Ravinia Park, where the summer concert series was held. Edward kept up a steady stream of conversation, sharing anecdotes about his day and the tours he'd helped out on. His open manner made it easy to relax in his company, and I let the tensions of the week melt away under his friendly banter. Halfway through our drive, he laid his hand over mine where it rested on the center console, twining our fingers together. Pleasantly surprised by his boldness, I glanced down, intrigued by the graceful length of his fingers. He'd told me he had taught himself to play a couple instruments, but I hadn't had the chance to hear him yet. _Maybe, someday._


	79. OUTTAKE: Rhapsody on a Theme: Part Three

_**Oh my gosh, y'all are killing me with the reviews! I wasn't sure how y'all would feel about seeing how it all began for these guys, but obviously my fears were unfounded. Again- I'm so thrilled that y'all are liking the outtake. I couldn't resist sneaking in that little bit about Nan in Carlisle's POV last chapter.  
><strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Rhapsody on a Theme: Part Three <strong>_

**EPOV**

_Carlisle seemed so quiet; was I talking too much? Chaperoning a bunch of ten year olds around couldn't be nearly as interesting as handling multi-million dollar transactions. _My mind whirred while I babbled on, unable to control the incessant word vomit that spilled from me. Needing to ensure he was still with me, I covered his hand with mine and wrapped my fingers between his, the tips stroking his palm. He had strong hands; I'd noticed it at dinner earlier in the week when he had picked up his wine glass. Hands that would make sure you knew you were being held. Shaking myself away from that train of thought, I cast around for a change of topic.

"You never said where we were going."

"Well, I'd wanted it to be a surprise, at least until after I'd picked you up." Carlisle let his eyes drift from the road to meet mine for a moment. "The symphony does a summer concert series at Ravinia Park. I planned a picnic for dinner while we listened." He sounded nervous, almost as if he thought I'd reject the idea.

"It sounds great. Are they playing a particular composer?" My knowledge of classical music was limited; the little I did know tied to the exhibits at the museum.

"They're featuring Rachmaninoff, including one of my favorite pieces." Carlisle paused the conversation when he turned into the park, his attention focused on following the signs to the pavilion. The lots were already filling with other attendees, but he managed to find a decent parking space. Stepping from the car, I met him at the trunk and reached for the blanket he'd stowed there with a picnic hamper. Once we'd gathered what we needed, he locked the car, then shifted the basket to his outside hand, taking my free one in his. I stifled a sigh at the feel of his warm skin enveloping mine.

We picked our way through the picnickers spread out on the lawn, finding our way to a spot under a tree that offered an unobstructed view of the pavilion. Spreading the blanket, I toed off my deck shoes and sat down, grateful for the casual dress code at the museum. Carlisle knelt next to me, digging in the basket and coming out with a bottle of wine and two gasses. I watched him while he opened the bottle, and accepted the glass he poured for me. He returned his attention to the basket and I took advantage of his distraction to take in the man who'd figured prominently in my fantasies since I'd met him the week before.

His clothing was casual, with a hint of professionalism to his navy blue dress trousers and white button down shirt. His collar was open, the top two buttons undone; making me wonder if he'd had a tie on earlier at work. He'd kicked off his dress loafers and removed his socks before he joined me on the blanket, and I found myself fascinated by his well-shaped feet. Not typically a body part I gave much consideration to, Carlisle's fascinated me, nonetheless. Then again, the man as a whole intrigued me. His sturdy resolve and calm demeanor spoke of a settled contentment that I found appealing. The few men I'd dated since coming out had all had baggage – baggage that made them a bad choice for a long term relationship. Carlisle was different.

We settled into easy conversation, sharing the plethora of food he pulled from the hamper. Bruschetta, toasted ravioli, antipasti – a variety of Italian dishes that lent themselves well to finger food. Seeing the lack of utensils as being to my benefit, I offered the occasional bite to Carlisle, my fingers lingering on his lips. I reveled in the escalated awareness that steadily built between us throughout the night. By the time we set the food to the side, the symphony had begun playing the second concerto, and I laid back on the blanket to look at the stars while the delicate strains whispered across the park to wrap us in their magic.

Carlisle stretched out next to me, resting his back against the tree. I let my eyes drift closed and allowed the mood set by the picnic and the music wash over me. I was done dancing around the subject. I wanted him in every way possible; I only hoped he felt the same way and we could set aside pretenses when we headed back into the city. While I plotted how to invite him in when we reached my apartment, I felt a gentle tug on my hair, followed by fingers sliding across my scalp. Opening my eyes to the merest of slits, I peered up at him from under my eyelashes. His eyes were closed, his body swaying slightly in time to the music, a bemused smile on his lips. Desperate to kiss him, I controlled the impulse, and instead watched him fall deeper under the allure of the compositions.

The orchestra flowed seamlessly through the selected pieces, pausing between each one to appreciate the well-deserved applause that filled the air. At some point I shifted, resting my head in Carlisle's lap, my fingers tapping out the rhythms against the firm muscles of his thigh. The sky continued to darken, more and more stars dotting the inky blackness, the moon hanging low to smile benevolently over the audience. Bathed in its light, Carlisle glowed, his skin almost incandescent. The conductor announced the final piece, and a lone piano opened the composition. The melody rose and swelled, its haunting chords filling me with a sense of longing for something I didn't know I'd been looking for. When the final notes faded away, neither of us moved, unwilling to break the spell that had overcome us.

The crowd slowly thinned and dissipated, until we were one of the few remaining. Reluctantly, we put our shoes back on and gathered the remnants of our meal, before returning to the car. Once we'd stowed everything in the trunk, I stopped Carlisle from walking away. Resting my hand on his waist, I pulled him closer, meeting his lips with a yearning neediness that he returned. Breathless, we parted, and I rested my forehead against his.

"Take me home with you," I whispered.


	80. OUTTAKE: Rhapsody on a Theme: Part Four

_**K my darlins, here it is - the last outtake installment. So thrilled you have all enjoyed reading where it all began for our guys.  
><strong>_

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><p><em><strong>Rhapsody on a Theme: Part Four<strong>_

**CPOV**

When I'd tentatively slid my fingers into Edward's hair, I'd done so out of a need for connection. Rachmaninoff's compositions had always spoken to me, unleashing my sheltered longing for a place to belong. Nan had made her house our home, but I'd always craved someone who was wholly mine, like I'd remembered seeing with my parents. Was it wrong, after only a week, to consider the possibility that Edward could be that person? We'd only shared a handful of kisses, a few hours of conversation, and yet I knew more about him than I had about the last three men I'd been involved with.

We'd walked back to the car in silence, our hands clasped between us, no need for idle conversation to convey the emotions that surrounded us. I didn't want the night to end, but didn't want to presume too much, either. Edward took the need to find the right words away when he stopped me with a kiss and entreated me to take him home. I responded by pressing him back against the car, my tongue gaining entrance when his lips readily parted under mine. Questing hands explored the hardened planes under cotton shirts, fabric bunching up in the fingers seeking access to the skin underneath. My knee slid between his thighs, my erection pressing against his, our desire painfully obvious. I grasped his hip, stilling the rocking motion that threatened to push me over the edge.

Pulling away slowly, I murmured against his mouth, "Let's go, before I embarrass both of us." I punctuated my words with a roll of my hips, my intentions unmistakable.

The drive back into the city seemed interminable, the anticipation palpable, filling the car and consuming us. Edward's fingers stroked across the pulse in my wrist; sending it racing. Finding my spot in the underground garage, I quickly exited the car, afraid he'd change his mind, but prepared to honor whatever he decided.

The trip in the elevator passed in a blur, the time lost to more needful kisses and exploring hands. By the time we reached my floor, I vibrated with need for the man accompanying me. No one else had ever made my body sing the way he did, and I couldn't wait to show him how much. Fumbling with the key, I let us into my apartment, and found my back being pressed to the door before it had fully closed. Edward's mouth covered mine, his teeth nipping at my lip, then soothing it with a pass of his tongue. I sighed, opening to him, our tongues sliding across, over, around the other. He braced his hand on the door next to my head, the other tugged at my shirt, dragging it the rest of the way out of my waistband. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling his head back to taste the sensitive skin of his throat. Edward shivered, a low moan escaping him, while he pushed his body closer to mine. I wrapped my arm around his waist, my hand splaying across his ass to pull him closer still. I ached, my skin near burning with the desire to have him on me . . . over me . . . in me. Fingers fought with buttons, and muttered curses fell when they proved stubborn, followed by a growl when I bit the flesh at the curve of his neck.

Need – hot, knifing need – coursed through me, but rational thought managed to break through for an instant, just long enough to give me the presence of mind to know that the hallway was not where I wanted our first encounter to happen. Heaving a deep breath to still my heart, I tilted my head to meet his eyes. Their dark passion had me on the verge of undone, and I knew he wanted me with an equal fervor.

"Come on," I whispered, taking his hand. "I have a bed that will make this so much better."

I led him down the hall to my room, pausing inside the door to draw his shirt over his head, before cradling his face between my hands. Slanting my mouth over his again, I drank in the taste of him, allowing his very being to fill all my senses. I felt lithe fingers slide inside my now open shirt, pushing it down my arms until I had to release my hold on him to let it fall to the floor. My undershirt was next, breaking our kiss and allowing us to draw in a much needed breath. Zippers slithered open, pants dropping in puddles that we stepped out of when I led Edward to my bed. We fell together, hands and mouths exploring the newly exposed skin.

Leaning over Edward, I let my gaze drift down his torso, taking in the taut, sculpted muscles, the trail of hair that disappeared into the elastic of his boxer briefs, the prominent erection that strained against the white cotton, the growing damp spot that revealed his own need.

"Perfection," I breathed, before dipping my head to capture a darkened nipple between my teeth. His back arched from the bed, his fingers digging into the flesh of my hips to pull me against him. A hiss escaped us both when our aching cocks pressed against each other. "I can't wait . . . I need you now."

"Then have me," he murmured, his voice ragged with his own want.

Reaching into the night table drawer, I rifled for a condom and lube, and then dropped them on the bed next to his hip. I dragged his briefs off, both of us moaning when his cock was released to fall snug against his abdomen, a glistening bead of fluid escaping the slit. My own briefs were discarded before I eased between his legs, my tongue swirling around the purpled, engorged head and capturing the moisture there. Edward's fingers tangled in my hair, my name leaving his chest in a harsh howl when I slid his length into my throat and swallowed around him. Pulling back, I let his cock fall from my mouth with a pop, then I rolled to my side, pulling him over top of me.

"Do you . . ." My voice trailed off, suddenly nervous with the need to know more before we went any further.

Edward leaned over me, his lips taking mine once more in a searing kiss that set my body on fire. "I'll be whatever you need," he answered.

I patted the bed, finding the lube and passing it to him. "I need to feel you, all of you."

My body convulsed at the sound of the plastic cap clicking open, my muscles contracting in anticipation of his touch. Then his mouth was on my shaft, his tongue traversing a line from base to tip, while a slicked finger circled my opening. He pressed into me at the same time that he enveloped the leaking head in his warm heat. Reflexively, I pressed my heels into the mattress, lifting to seek out more heat, to let him surround me. Edward's finger probed and thrust, curling again and again to stroke across my prostate and drive me to distraction. A second finger joined the first, stretching me, while his tongue and lips circled my shaft, every nerve in my body tingling and alive with his touch. I gripped his shoulders when a third finger stretched inside me, moaning his name in a desperate plea for fulfillment.

Edward pulled away, the cool air hitting my damp skin, adding to the myriad sensations that threatened to overwhelm me, my ass twitching at the sudden loss and aching to be filled again. Releasing his shoulder, I fumbled for the condom and tore the packet open, tossing the foil wrapper aside before sliding the lubed latex down his pulsing erection. Lying down again, I pulled my knees back to accommodate him. Edward stroked his sheathed cock over my opening, his hands parting the globes of my ass to watch while he eased his way inside.

Releasing his hold on my ass, Edward pulled my leg over his shoulder, pressing forward slowly, his eyes searching my face for discomfort. Finding nothing but unadulterated desire, he pushed on until he was seated fully inside me. He paused, resting his cheek against my calf while he stilled his motions to give me a moment to adjust. When I rolled my hips against him, searching for more, he peppered my skin with kisses, then pulled back until only the tip of his cock remained nestled in me, before thrusting back deep inside to fill me again. I arched to meet each thrust, my hands twisting in the bedcovers, before wrapping my arms around him when he slid his hands under my shoulders for leverage, his mouth claiming mine and swallowing my cries for more . . . harder . . . faster.

Slow and deep, shallow and fast, over and over his sweat slicked body moved over mine, each thrust drawing us closer to the edge. He lifted my ass, shifted the angle of his thrusts and stars exploded behind my eyes at the relentless assault on the spiraling center of my desire. Reaching between us, I grasped my shaft, my hand moving in time to his thrusts, chasing my release. His head fell back, the tendons of his neck standing out in bas relief against his skin, the sheen of sweat glistening in the slivered moonlight that spilled into the room.

"Fuck . . . E – Edward," I gasped, struggling to find a coherent thought to speak. "So close . . . gonna come . . . can't – "

"Don't . . . hold . . . back," he panted in response. "Let go, Carlisle. I'm there baby, so . . . fucking . . . there."

Another thrust, two strokes of my hand, and the coil snapped. Streams of come painted my stomach, arcing spurts that coated my still moving hand, falling across my chest and his. Edward grunted, his eyes drinking in the sight, his hips pounding into me over and over, my muscles contracting around the hardened length that still filled me. Each pass over my sweet spot sent another spasm through me, until Edward thrust deep and roared my name. I felt his cock expand then pulse, his release filling the condom while he shuddered over top of me. He melted, collapsing against my body like every bone in his had turned to jelly, mirroring my own feelings. Languid kisses moved across my shoulder, his tongue snaking out to catch random rivulets of sweat.

We laid there, our breathing slowly returning to normal, our bodies shivering in the aftermath of our lovemaking. Reluctantly, Edward reached between us and grabbed the base of his shaft to hold the condom in place when he slid from inside me. Pushing himself from the bed, He padded into the bathroom. The light flipped on, and I heard the sound of the linen closet opening over the running water. Edward returned with two hand cloths and wiped down my body, then dried it, before tossing both toward the bathroom door. Rolling to the side, I tugged down the covers and patted the bed.

"Stay for breakfast?" I invited.

"Definitely, especially if it's as satisfying as dessert was."

He slid under the covers next to me, then turned me over and pulled my back to his chest. Wrapping his arms around my body, he cured his body around mine, our legs tangling together. The last thing I remembered, before I drifted off to sleep was the feel of his lips pressing a kiss to the nape of my neck.

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><p><strong><em>Regular chapter hopefully in a couple days -school, work, and family willing. <em>**


	81. Chapter 77

_**Back to more recent times. The end is right around the corner for these boys. I'm going to so hate putting them away for a bit, but they are still getting their sequel. Still working out the title, but hopefully I'll be able to let you know by the time I post the epilogue – which Edward and I are bickering about. I will not start posting the sequel though, until it is almost all written. I want to wrap up a few other loose stories that are floating around first – like One Night Alone and Dealing with the Pressure. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Seven<strong>

_**EPOV**_

"Promise me something?"

I felt Carlisle's words vibrate through me from where his head lay on my chest. I hummed, my eyes closed, while my fingers absently stroked through his hair, the strands still damp from the shower we had taken. He shifted, his chin resting on my sternum when he turned to look up at me. The calloused pad of his thumb brushed across my cheekbone, along the line of my jaw, and then across my lips. Capturing it with my teeth, I drew it into my mouth, and then opened my eyes to see his sleepy amber eyes staring intently at me. Releasing his thumb, I reached up and took his hand in mine, cradling it against my heart.

"Anything within my power, love," I promised, not even waiting for his request. A flush crept up his cheeks, the light pink blossoming to a full crimson that he tried to hide by ducking his head. "What is it, babe?"

"It's just . . . I was wondering if you . . . well, we used to . . . you know, before . . .," the blush had consumed his entire face right to the tips of his ears, "would you consider testing again, so we can work on getting back to just us?"

I bit back a mortified bark of laughter. I had already planned to schedule an appointment with my doctor, and I knew that while we had talked about what happened while we were apart, he had no way of knowing just how few and far between the randoms had actually been. I didn't think he really wanted to know, either.

"I'm planning on it the minute we get back home." No response. "Car?" He looked up at me, a hint of insecurity haunting his eyes. "Babe, do you need to know more? I wanted to put it all behind us and move on, but . . ." My voice trailed off, not sure I wanted to hear his answer.

"I think . . . no, I know . . . we're good and getting better. It'd be like pouring salt on a wound to have to hear details."

Releasing the breath I'd been holding, I lifted the hand I'd cradled against my heart up to my lips. "Just know this babe, it wasn't near what you are thinking it might have been, and no one could ever be you."

Carlisle's eyes brightened and he pushed himself up to lean over me. His intended kiss was interrupted by a low buzzing noise. It disappeared as quickly as it started, then repeated a few seconds later. My phone.

"Hold that though, love."

I brushed a light kiss across his lips, before sliding from under him to grab my phone from my pants. Running my thumb across the touch pad, I brought up the text from my assistant.

_**Conference call set for 1pm our time. Don't hold your breath. **_

_Fuck!_

I dropped onto the edge of the bed, my shoulders drooping. Something important must have come up if I was going to be denied the time off. Mr. Swain, the museum's director, never refused any reasonable request, and I had more than enough time off to cover the extension. Scrolling through the work emails I had ignored the past couple days, I found the source of the issue. The Renaissance exhibit we had been trying to secure for the last six months, and lost a bid on, was up for offer again after some booking conflicts had arisen. It was my job to nail down touring exhibits. Alice was right; I wouldn't be getting the extension. I only hoped I could talk my boss into giving me until the rest of the week.

"Everything okay? It's not your parents, is it?"

Carlisle leaned against my back, his arm coming around my stomach to hug me against him. Without a word I passed him the phone, wishing it had been something from my parents. After being pissed at him about putting his job first for months, I was about to turn around and do the same thing to him.


	82. Chapter 78

_**I updated Will You Drive My sleigh the other day, now its back to these boys. If you haven't read Sleigh, and you don't have a problem with different pairings – give it a shot. It's fluffy and full of ridiculous innuendos. It started out as my donation to the Toys 4 Tots compilation, and harrytwifan loves it so much she sends me pics to inspire me to keep going with it. **_

_**Based on my docs – there are two more chapters after this, and an epilogue. Thanks for coming on our road trip. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Eight<strong>

_**EPOV**_

Carlisle read the email, and then handed back my phone. "When will you have to leave?" His arms tightened around me, his breath teasing across my shoulder while he talked, the sensation comforting.

"I'll know more tomorrow, after I talk to Mr. Swain." I reached for Carlisle's hand and pulled him over me while I sprawled out on the bed. Worried, I searched his face. "You know I wouldn't go if I had any other choice, right?"

"Of course I do. It's not like your job was ever the one causing us any problems," Carlisle paused, his expression thoughtful. "I can't meet with Nan's attorneys until Wednesday, so I have no idea what her exact wishes are concerning the house and furnishings. I'm not even sure how long I'll need to stay to finalize her plans." He leaned up on his elbow, glancing around the room. "I'm hesitant to start boxing things up, too, until I know more. I suppose, though, I'll be safe with the personal things like family pictures and mementos." He yawned then, shaking his head afterward in an effort to stay awake.

"C'mon, babe." I drew him back down next to me, and pulled up the covers, before curling my body around him. "Nothing has to be decided tonight. Rest; we'll worry about it in the morning."

The fact that he didn't broach an argument, despite the fact that it was barely six o'clock, only confirmed how emotionally and physically taxing the last few days had been on him. With murmured words of love, I held him while he drifted off to sleep, then fought the plaguing doubts I had over leaving. I didn't doubt Carlisle could handle everything, but I should be with him. Since I knew the improbability of that, I tried to think of ways I could help, even from a distance. I fell asleep with no answers.

The next time I woke, it was to a stirring in my groin, warm hands spreading my thighs, and Carlisle's mouth wrapped around my dick. Moonlight enshrouded the room, the shimmery beams creating a masterpiece of light and shadow on his body. Letting my knees fall wider apart, I slid my hand along his jaw, before tangling in the wheaten tendrils of his hair. He hummed when I tugged, the vibrations along my shaft causing my hips to reflexively thrust upward into the welcoming heat.

"Christ, Car!" I groaned, my words ending in a growl when he dragged his teeth up the throbbing vein that ran along the underside of my length. "What are you . . . unf!"

He reached the tip, his tongue swirling the ridge of the crown, before pulling away. His hand replaced his mouth, stroking in a steady rhythm, and he shifted to brush a kiss across my hipbone.

"Not wasting any time. If you have to leave soon, I want memories to sustain me until I come home."

Carlisle's voice held a teasing lilt, but I saw the fragile fears shadowing his eyes. I suddenly wondered if my job was really that important. When Carlisle's lips wrapped around me again, all thoughts of anything but the man I loved were discarded.

Holding Carlisle afterward, I traced distracted circles on his stomach with my fingers, while my mind raced through a million different scenarios. If I left my job, I could stay. I didn't need the money. The work I did at the museum wasn't critical; no one would die if they had to find someone to replace me. Then I thought of the work I did with the school board. I had revived a flagging program because of my passion for arts in education. Would it continue without me? Carlisle stirred and turned to face me.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"Hhmm? Nothing, just thinking." I tried to deflect his question.

"About? I can tell something is bothering you." He brought his hand up to cup my cheek, leaning in to brush a kiss across my mouth. "Talk to me."

I studied his face, wondering how I'd make it through one day without him, much less a week or more. Reaching up, I pushed his hair off his forehead. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

"If it's even close to what I feel, yes, but it's like a gift to hear you say it again." I moved to kiss him, but Carlisle put his hand against my chest to stop me. "You're deflecting. What's wrong?"

"What if I left my job at the museum? I could stay here with you; help settle Nan's affairs. You wouldn't have to do it alone."

Carlisle had begun shaking his head before I could even finish.

"I'm not going to let you do that. You love your job. If you left it for me, one day you would regret it, and in return resent me for being the cause of you leaving it." His other hand came up to frame my face. "I'll be fine – we'll be fine. Trust me."

With tender kisses, he allayed my fears, then held me close while we both drifted off to sleep.


	83. Chapter 79

_**Sorry for the delay on this. Edward wouldn't talk to me at all, and this needed to be done before Carlisle could talk to me. Then, once Edward started, there was a ton of word vomit that I had to wade through to get to the nuts and bolts. I finally got him to shut up, and managed to pull together a semi-reasonable chapter. **_

_**Honestly, I think he was jealous of my attention being diverted by USA's Olympic men's diving and swimming teams.**_

_**All the usual warnings/disclaimers.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Seventy-Nine<strong>

**EPOV**

I slowly drifted awake the next morning, the room still covered in that murky half dark that exists right before the sun fully rises. During the night, I'd curled myself into Carlisle. His heart thrummed under my cheek, his chest rising and falling in deep even breaths. Careful not to wake him, I slid from under the covers and pulled a pair of sleep pants from the dresser. Once I'd finished in the bathroom, I quietly made my way downstairs to put on a pot of coffee.

My stomach rumbled, reminding me that we hadn't eaten anything since mid-afternoon the day before. Doubting Carlisle would be up anytime soon, I fixed a cup of coffee and pulled an apple off the counter, then stepped out into the backyard.

The rain from the day before had perked up Nan's garden. Would whoever bought the house appreciate the years of work she'd put into it? Trying to find things to distract me from what really weighed on my mind; I walked to Carlisle's grotto. I pushed aside the drooping branches of the willow to duck underneath their shelter. I pulled my feet up onto the bench and contemplated what to do next while munching on the apple.

In my head, I knew Carlisle was right. I did love my job. It allowed me to apply my degree, while giving me the freedom to develop programs that furthered the arts. I liked to think what I did made a difference. My heart ached at the thought of leaving him, though; even if it was only a few days.

Sighing, I took a sip of coffee. I could go back and forth for hours, picking apart the same points, knowing I'd come to the same conclusion. I had to return to Chicago, probably alone. Since I couldn't avoid my fate, I turned my thoughts to more pleasant ones, like moving back to the condo.

With my mind wandering, I didn't hear Carlisle approach. The fronds parted and he stepped under their graceful arch to join me.

"Morning, love."

"Hey, babe." Moving my feet, I made room for him on the bench, tilting my face up for the kiss he offered. "Sleep well?"

Carlisle sat down and leaned back against my chest. "I did. Might be because someone wore me out." He tucked his face into the side of my neck, the scruff on his chin dragging a delicious burn across my skin. "I'm starving. Do you remember when we ate last?"

"At the luncheon after the memorial, though I don't think I ate very much. I know you didn't." I took a sip of my coffee. "I was planning to head in to cook breakfast, just before you came out."

"Mmhhmm, sounds like a plan." He made no move to get up, so I continued to sit, content to wait until he was ready. "I'm going to miss this," he murmured, looking around. "Nan created a masterpiece in the desert, not an easy feat."

"Maybe one day you can make your own, in her memory," I offered.

"Have you ever thought about that?" Carlisle sat up, turning to look at me.

"Thought about what?" Puzzled, I waited for him to continue.

"Owning a house. Becoming domesticated."

"What are we – house pets?" I joked, and then rested my chin on his shoulder when he settled back to his original position. "Sometimes I do, but I really like the condo."

"I like it, too. It's ours, we picked it together," he paused, twining his free hand with mine where it rested on his abdomen, "but I think I might like something more permanent eventually. A real house with a yard - someplace to grow old – like Nan had."

"A white picket fence and two point five kids?" I teased halfheartedly, while remembering my failed attempt at proposing.

"Yeah, something like that . . . if the right opportunity presented itself." I stiffened at his almost flippant tone, relaxing when he continued, "it's not like an accidental pregnancy is an issue. Babies have to be planned."

Did I want to go there with him yet? I bit back a comment about putting the cart before the horse, instead using the sudden rumbling of our stomachs to insist we go get some breakfast. I wanted to shelve the conversation, before it took us into sensitive subjects we were still to raw to deal with.

By the time I'd cooked breakfast and we ate, the cuckoo had chimed ten o'clock. Insisting on cleaning up the kitchen while I prepared for my conference call, Carlisle sent me out of the kitchen with a kiss for luck that it wouldn't be too bad. After a quick shower to clear my head, I pulled out my laptop and powered it up for the first time since leaving Chicago. Thankfully, my notes and the initial proposal were still saved on the hard drive. I hoped that if I restructured the information to his satisfaction, I could strike a bargain with my boss that would allow me to stay. That proved to be wishful thinking.

Three hours later, after a drawn out session via Skype, where several documents flew back and forth between my computer and the office, little had been resolved. Mr. Swain agreed to my staying in Arizona through Friday, but that was the only concession he would make. The museum wanted the exhibit, and was willing to pull out all the stops to get it.

Carlisle had entered the room once while I was on the call, quietly gathering clothes and exiting the room again. He paused at the door, and offered a sympathetic smile when he saw my exasperated expression. Mouthing "I love you," he pulled the door shut to give me some privacy.

Finally logging off the call, I starred at the screen full of opened documents. Not only did I have to leave when I wanted to stay, I'd be working the rest of the time I spent in Arizona. Giving my laptop one last rueful glance, I stood and made my way downstairs. Carlisle knew, just by my expression. I stepped into his open arms and rested my forehead against his.

"How many days do we have?" His hands slid across my back in soothing circles.

"Technically? Maybe two and a half, depending on the flight schedules. I need to book a flight back to Chicago for Friday and be at the museum first thing Saturday morning, before flying out to New York on Monday." I closed my eyes for a moment. "My presentation to the exhibit's proposal committee has already been scheduled for ten o'clock Tuesday morning."

"So . . . we make the most of what we have. Hopefully, Nan's will is straightforward, and I'll be back home in Chicago sooner rather than later." He pulled back to search my eyes, then brushed a soft kiss across my lips. "Then we can start our lives together . . . again."

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><p><em><strong>One more regular chapter, the last from Carlisle, and then the epi. I'm going to miss these boys so much. Thanks so much for coming along for the ride. <strong>_


	84. Chapter 80

_I know, I know - it's been forever and a day. Hopefully a few people are still interested in what happened to Carlisle and Edward. This is the last regular chapter. I know at one point I had floated the idea of a sequel, but when I started writing again, and worked on my piece for the Toys for Tots compilation, I realized it was time to let the boys go. There will be an Epilogue, maybe two, and the Toys for Tots piece finishes it all off. _

_Thank you to everyone who has stuck with these boys, still recs out this story, and who have been so supportive while I've had to take time away from writing to deal with my real life. _

_I'll be posting last year's Toys for Tots compilation piece over the weekend, too. _

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><p><strong>Chapter Eighty<strong>

**.o.O.O.o.**

**CPOV**

_We can handle this. We'll be fine. _

Like a mantra, the words played on a continuous loop in my head. Maybe, if I heard it often enough, I'd believe it. I didn't doubt Edward or his feelings for me, not for one second, but I also knew Seth. He'd laid the blame for our break-up solely at my feet, and would be on Edward from the minute he stepped off the plane, until I returned to Chicago, hell bent on changing Edward's mind about giving me another chance.

Trust.

It was all about trust.

And love.

And for the next two days, I spent every available minute I could making sure Edward had no doubts about my love. If I'd learned nothing else from our separation, and the things we discussed on our way to Tempe, it wasn't about the grand gestures. Whether it was making sure Edward's coffee cup was never empty, rubbing his shoulders when he'd been hunched over the computer for too many hours, or ensuring dinner was taken care of, I made the effort. The most surprising thing I discovered in the process was the joy I received from making Edward's day a little easier.

Wednesday, I left him hard at work while I made the trip to the attorney's office. I walked out an hour later stunned. My grandmother had never worked, and the investments I had made for her over the years would have been considered modest by most standards. However, the estate she left, and the bequeaths entailed in it, were substantial.

Her wishes for the house and personal investments were very specific. The house had been donated to the church's counseling program to be used as a shelter for LGBT teens that had been thrown out of their parents' homes. The investments would provide the seed money for the needed modifications, hiring a staff, and establishing a trust to maintain it. I would be the trustee in charge of the fund, and with proper management and investment, Nan's work would continue long after her memory faded.

Smaller donations were earmarked to charities she had supported while alive. Not only were LGBT charities listed; but also programs for military veterans and their families. I was the listed beneficiary on her insurance policies. Even Edward had not been forgotten, with several family heirlooms left in his care. He'd been stunned when I told him, stammering his disbelief at her continued faith in our reconciliation.

While her personal belongings were mine to do with as I pleased, she had made a humorous suggestion – one I intended to follow through on. Other than personal mementos – family pictures, heirlooms, and a few select items that held special significance to me – Nan had suggested a giant yard sale, where anything other than furniture would be priced at a quarter. Every single thing; nothing would be sold in sets. The furniture would be sold at fair market value. The proceeds were mine to distribute as I saw fit. On my way home, I decided where to use the money, but I ran the idea by Edward first.

"Are you serious?" He twisted in his chair to look at me, as if to gauge my sincerity.

"Do you disagree with the idea?" I placed a fresh cup of coffee near him, then sat down on the other side of the table.

"No, I think it's a great idea, just," he ran his hand through his hair, his lips pursing while he searched for the right words, "I'm not sure how it will be received."

"I've considered that possibility. I'm going to bring it up to Mike, there might be a way to funnel it through the church and keep us out of it directly. You know Nan would have done it if she had been alive."

And in the long run, that was the deciding argument. The proceeds from the yard sale would establish a scholarship fund to be managed along with the trust. Maggie's grandson would be the first to receive an endowment.

The remaining day and a half passed in a flurry of activity, my time spent readying the house for the sale and transfer of ownership, while Edward helped when he needed a break from preparing the new proposal. The nights, though, were reserved for us. Once the bedroom door closed, the rest of the world melted away and I concerned myself only with loving Edward, each night taking on a greater air of desperation and need, as his departure loomed closer.

**.o.O.O.o.**

At Edward's urging, I'd spent several hours sorting through the attic, once again grateful for Nan's penchant for organization. All the boxes and totes had been labeled in her precise handwriting, simplifying the job of sorting out the mementos to be shipped home to Chicago from the items that would join the yard sale. By Thursday afternoon, Edward had done all he could on his project until he returned to Chicago. His ticket home had been booked, the confirmation waiting for him to process his check-in. While I'd been distracted by the ghosts of my past, he'd packed his suitcase, the figurine from Nan wrapped in bubble wrap and snuggled securely between layers of clothes.

We spent an enjoyable evening with Pastor Mike and his family, the time melting away amid warm recollections of my grandmother and the legacy that she'd left behind. Claire, Mike and Lauren's 9 year old daughter, had taken a shine to both of us, content to sit in one or the other of our laps and chatting about all the things that were important in the uncomplicated simplicity of her life. Watching Edward with her, his tousled bronze waves resting against her sleek blonde braids, unlocked a yearning I hadn't realized I still held so close to my heart – and one I'd long thought would go unfulfilled.

After we'd been coerced into reading Claire's bedtime story, and spent another hour discussing the plans for the shelter and endowment, Edward and I took our leave. Amidst a flurry of hugs, the pastor and his wife assured Edward they'd look after me until they could send me home, while extracting promises that we would return to visit not only the center, but the new friends we'd be leaving behind.

Edward leaned across the center console of the car, his hand tucked under mine, his head resting on my shoulder. He stifled several yawns, content to spend the short ride across town to the accompaniment of a local R&B channel. The breakneck pace of the past week had begun to catch up to both of us. He looked up when we pulled in Nan's driveway, a soft sigh escaping him.

"What's wrong, love?" I murmured, tightening my fingers around his.

"It just occurred to me that this is the last night I'll spend in Nan's house. Once I leave tomorrow, we may come back, but we won't come home. It's . . . bittersweet."

Lifting my arm to place it around his shoulders, I pulled him closer.

"Someone very wise once told me, 'We never lose the memories of those we've lost – we carry them with us in our heart forever.'" I pressed a kiss to his forehead. "She's never really gone, not so long as we remember her." I nudged my shoulder against his. "C'mon, babe. We only have a few hours left. I can think of better ways to spend them than sitting in my grandmother's driveway."

Stepping out of the car, I waited for Edward at the front bumper, twining our fingers together for the short walk to the house. The lamp burned on its table next to the stairs, the familiar light a comforting welcome. I closed the door behind us, setting the lock before turning to face the quiet, shadowed living room.

"Coffee?" Edward asked, already halfway across the room.

"No." He stopped, slowly turning to meet my earnest gaze. "Just you. All I want tonight is you."

"I'm always yours," he teased, extending his hand toward me.

"I know, and I won't take it for granted again."

I accepted his hand, joining him on the stairs. We paused on the landing, Edward's hand tracing over the lettering across the bottom of our picture frame, before continuing to our room. Closing the door behind us, I brought my hands up to cup his face, my thumbs stroking across his cheekbones, then sliding behind his head. His lips brushed mine, a soft "I love you" whispered against them, before slanting to claim my mouth once again.

The kiss started gentle, slowly building, his hands smoothing across my shoulders and down, coming to rest on the small of my back. He stepped closer, the kiss deepening, the always present embers of desire slowly stoked back to life. Leaning into him, I curled my fingers into the thick waves of hair at his nape, shivering when his fingers slipped under the fabric of my shirt to stroke against the ridges at the base of my spine. He licked into my mouth, his tongue delving, caressing, owning. The kiss slowed as quickly as it built, his tongue gliding across the ridge of my lower lip, before gentling to small pecks.

"Shower?" Edward asked.

"Later. Let me give you a reason to need one."

My hands found the hem of his shirt, tugging it over his head and discarding it behind me, then sending mine to join it. I trailed my fingers from the tips of his fingers, across his palms, and up the corded muscles of his arms to his shoulders. Edward became increasingly languid under their deft touches; the green of his eyes disappearing to a thin ring of emerald, enrobed in the passion-blown ebony of is pupils.

Our eyes met, holding each other's gaze while I memorized him. Across his collarbones, down the lightly furred skin of his chest, to ghost over the rippled planes of his abdomen. Edward's breath caught, the muscles bunching in reaction to my gliding touch. His forehead dropped to my shoulder, warm bursts of breath escaping him to dance across my skin, while his fingers unfastened the button on my trousers. I dipped my hands into his waistband, fingers spanning his hips, and my thumbs pressing into the sensitive skin at the dips of his v-line. Sharp teeth dug into my shoulder, followed by the laving drag of Edward's tongue.

His body pressed into mine, each movement guiding us closer to the bed. Then, one more step, and we were both falling, Edward twisting his body to pull me on top of him when we hit the mattress. Our breaths escaped in a huff, our lips separating on impact, only to come back together, tender kisses punctuated with breathless laughter. We divested the rest of our clothing in a flurry of flying fabric and teasing, underscored with an air of urgent need. Lips and hands sought to touch and taste the familiar, each movement a dance orchestrated in love that survived trials and burned stronger than ever. Keening cries of pleasure replaced whispered panting moans for more, until our bodies collapsed into each other, sated and exhausted.

**.o.O.O.o.**

The alarm came much too early, a blaring reminder of what the day held in store. Groaning inwardly, I reached behind me to turn it off, then buried my face between Edward's shoulder blades.

"It's okay, Car. I'm awake." Edwards voice was gruff, the remnants of sleep still lingering in his throat.

Leaning back, I allowed room for him to roll onto his back. Once he did, I balanced my head on my hand, elbow digging deeply into the mattress. With my free hand, I stroked the dark circles under his eyes, too troubled by their presence to tease him about the riotous mess his hair had become from going to bed with it wet after our shower the night before.

"Did you sleep at all?" I asked, concern coloring my words.

"Yeah, a little." His muffled yawn belied his words. "In fits and spurts. I'll nap on the plane, and my flight lands early, I'll get a decent night's sleep." Bringing his hand up, he caught mine and brought it to his lips, placing a kiss in the center of my palm, before laying it against his cheek. "I'll be fine, Carlisle, I promise." Rising up, he kissed away the furrowed worry on my brow. "Now, if you want me to cook you one last decent meal before I go, you need to get your ass out of bed."

And with that, he gave a playful shove, unceremoniously pushing me off the bed, and following it up with a pillow tossed at my head.

**.o.O.O.o.**

Breakfast was a hurried affair, Edward distractedly digging through Nan's recipes in an effort to find the elusive chocolate chip cookie recipe. I laughed as his frustration mounted with each discarded cookbook, his brow furrowing at my amusement.

"This isn't funny, Car! Nan's recipe could be lost forever, and we'll have to eat subpar cookies the rest of our lives because of it." Edward huffed.

Taking his hand, I turned it over and kissed his palm, then stood, pressing my hand to his shoulder when he made to join me. "Just sit a minute."

Walking into the pantry, I opened the cupboard where Nan had stored her baking supplies, sliding aside bags of flour and sugar, to the stash of assorted chips and nuts behind them. With only a cursory glance at each, I moved through the pile, until I settled on one near the bottom. Humming to myself in satisfaction, I picked it up and closed the door, returning to the table to drop the bag of chocolate chips in front of him.

Confused, Edward glanced at me, then picked up the bag of chips. "They were so good because of the type of chips she used? But there were more than just plain chocolate chips in them."

"No, they were special because Nan made them, and she never really followed the original recipe – which is on the back of that bag of chips." I reached over and turned the bag in his hand. "The cookie dough base _does _make a difference, but the extras she added took them to the next level. Chocolate chips were always in them, but she also added peanut butter and white chocolate chips, pecans on occasion, and sometimes macadamia nuts. Really, it just depended on what she had in the cupboard when she got an inclination to bake as to what would be in them."

"You've known this all along and never told me?" Edward bristled, his ire obviously feigned, but I still felt compelled to dispel it.

"Yes, I've known, and no, of course I never told you." I shrugged sheepishly. "It meant so much to you when Nan sent you boxes of cookies, and it meant even more to her to be able to send them, that I didn't want to take it away from either one of you."

Edward's lips parted, an obvious retort n his lips, when his words were overshadowed by the sounding of the cuckoo clock. Nine o'clock. Our idle was over, and it was time to let the real world all the way back into our lives.

**.o.O.O.o.**

"Just drop me off at the doors, babe. It's silly for you to come inside. They won't let you down to the gate, anyway."

"Are you sure? Your flight doesn't leave for almost an hour; I could keep you company until then."

I'm positive." Edward squeezed my hand. "I appreciate the gesture, but I'm going to find a quiet corner, put on my sunglasses, and take a nap. Besides, the sooner everything here is done, the sooner you can come home."

Helplessly, I relented and turned into the lane for departures, parking the car in the passenger drop-off area. Leaving the engine idling, I popped the trunk open, before meeting up with Edward at the rear of the car, where he was grabbing his luggage. Sliding my hand in my pocket, I fingered the lone key I had removed from my keychain earlier that morning. Drawing it out, I clenched my fist around it, the individual teeth digging into my palm.

Edward closed the trunk, his bags sitting by his feet, and a knot of fear tightened around my heart. What if he changed his mind? There was only one way to find out.

"Seth is going to pick me up at the airport. I'll call when –" Edward began, until I leaned in and kissed him, interrupting his train of thought.

"I'd like it if you were moved back in by the time I return to Chicago," I said, sliding the key into his hand. "I mean, if you're ready for that."

Edward's eyes softened. "Yeah, I think I am. I have some things to take care of, but yes, I want to come home."

"Yeah?" My voice cracked, flustered and overjoyed. I cleared my throat. "Uhm, yeah. Great. That's . . . perfect."

"Well, maybe not perfectly perfect, but definitely right for us." Edward whispered, pulling me closer for another kiss. I sighed when he pulled away too soon and bent to retrieve his luggage. "I'll call as soon as I land, I promise." He stepped back onto the curb, waiting until I walked back to the driver's side before calling my name. I looked up, the open door in my hand, my eyes swimming with tears that spilled over at his next words. "I love you. Hurry home."


	85. Over the River Christmas Outtake

This was last year's donation to the Christmas Wishes Toys for Tots Compilation. Nothing too exciting, but its Makenna's POV of the first Christmas that Carlisle brought Edward home.

Speaking of Toys for Tots, the donation period to receive the compilation has been extended until Midnight on New Year's Eve. If you are still interested in donating, there are some amazing stories in there - including a futuretake of Lost Highway that is set after the epilogue. The link is christmaswishescompilation*blogspot*com if you want more information (replace the * with .).

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><p><em><strong>Over the River<strong>_

_Over the river and through the woods, _

_To Grandmother's house we go_

Makenna Charles glanced up eagerly, the faint whirring of the mechanisms in her cuckoo clock drawing her attention once more to the slowly passing time. Only ten-thirty. Unable to sit still any longer, she gave up on the book she'd been trying to read for the last hour. Setting it on the coffee table, she untucked her leg from under herself, releasing a small groan at the popping joint in her knee. She knew better to sit on her leg, but she'd done it so long that the position was second nature. Stretching, she peeked out the front curtains, knowing it was a useless effort. Carlisle's flight wasn't due to land at Sky Harbor for another hour and a half. By the time he – _no they_, she reminded herself with a soft smile – retrieved the rental car and made the short drive to her house, it would be nearly one in the morning.

She let the curtain fall with a sigh, paused to turn up the Christmas music playing on the stereo, and meandered into the kitchen. After setting the over to preheat, Makenna dug out her favorite mixing bowl and set to work making a batch of cookies. Despite the already full aluminum tins in the pantry that contained dozens of her holiday specialties, these were different. Carlisle always liked the chocolate chip cookies best of all. While she measured, mixed, and baked, the actions rote after so many years, she let her mind drift over the little she knew about the young man who would be accompanying her grandson.

"_We met through friends," Carlisle explained, not sure how much he wanted to reveal to his grandmother just yet. _

"_Well, that's not saying much, dear. Is he attractive, young, old? Do you have anything in common other than your friends?" _

"_He's a few years younger than me and quite attractive, though it's not just about the looks. He's intelligent, likes art and music; he's cultured, with a wicked sense of humor. . ." Carlisle trailed off, and Makenna smiled at the exasperated tone that crept into her grandson's voice. "We've only had dinner the one time. I – it's too soon to say, Nan." _

_Unable to resist the opportunity to tease him while he was so obviously flustered, Makenna replied, "And I know that these days, dinner doesn't necessarily preclude anything else, either. I may be old, but I am not stupid."_

"_Nan! How many times do I have to tell you to stop watching those reality shows? They're nothing but voyeuristic garbage." _

"_Oh, posh! Everyone needs a guilty pleasure. So what if mine is _Jersey Shore_ and a bowl of popcorn." _

_Carlisle laughed, and promised he would call her again soon, before telling her he loved her and disconnecting the call. _

Makenna chuckled aloud at the remembered conversation, all the while busying herself with moving the cookies to cooling racks. The clock whirred to life again, twelve crisp cuckoos joining the little bird as it popped in and out of the clock face. Gleeful, she pushed the button on the coffee pot that she had set to brew hours earlier. _Fresh coffee and warm cookies,_ she thought, sliding the last baking sheet in the oven. _Anyone would feel welcome with that reception, wouldn't they? _

Carlisle had introduced her to other men in the past, but he'd never brought anyone around for a long visit. The signs were there in the way he talked about the young man, the tone of his voice, the words he used – all of it pointed toward more. Makenna had gotten a sense of Edward's significance when Carlisle had called about Christmas.

"_You'll still be home for Christmas this year, right?" Makenna asked, wondering if the new developments in Carlisle's life would change his plans. Past relationships hadn't, but there was always a first time. _

"_That's part of why I called," he paused, as if trying to choose his words carefully, "I wanted to bring Edward home with me. I'd like you to meet him." _

_Considering Carlisle's hesitation, Makenna was grateful he couldn't see the grin she wore. It didn't matter, though, when her teasing gave her excitement away. _

"_You want me to meet your Edward? The man you've been dating for hmmm approximately four months? Yet the last man you shacked up with, for almost a year I might add, I only met when I flew to Chicago? THAT Edward?" _

"_He's not _my_ Edward, and fine I get your point. You're right – I may be a little more involved-"her incredulous snort cut him off, "FINE, I am very involved, and yes I want you to meet him, because I think it's important for him to have your approval. You've always been an excellent judge of character." _

"_As are you, Car; which is why, I'm sure, that I've rarely met any of your pillow pals." She bit back a laugh at his exasperated huff. "Yes, you may bring your young man home with you for Christmas; I'm looking forward to meeting the man who's succeeded in tying you in knots."_

Once she'd cleaned up from her baking, Makenna was left with nothing to occupy her time. Leaving on the light over the stove, she returned to the living room and settled into the corner of the sofa, pulling a blanket across her feet. The twinkling lights on the tree sparkled off the antique glass ornaments on the tree, illuminating the pile of presents underneath. She'd already delivered gifts to her friends and the staff at the outreach program during the week; and Pastor Mike's family at church that evening. Maggie was visiting her daughter, so they had exchanged gifts before she left.

Christmas Day would be just family for a change, a fact Makenna didn't regret. She and Carlisle saw each other several times a year, with either her flying to Chicago, or him coming home. The last trip had been Memorial Day, though, over six months earlier and way too long in between, as far as she was concerned. She just wished there had been an earlier flight. It didn't feel right for midnight to have struck and he wasn't home.

"_There's just no way, Nan. I'm sorry we couldn't manage to be in earlier." Makenna had tried to hide her disappointment, but Carlisle hadn't been fooled. "Edward has an exhibit that changes out right after the holiday, and I have to be in the office for a few hours in the morning. We've caught the absolute earliest flight possible, and we're both on vacation until after the first of the year."_

"_I understand dear, I really do. I'm not upset with you, just the situation." Makenna huffed in exasperation. "If only I hadn't taken that cruise with Maggie at the end of the summer. Then it wouldn't seem so long." _

_Just go to bed, Nan," Carlisle soothed, "and we'll be there when you wake up in the morning." _

"_Not likely! You know I won't sleep until I know you're safe." Makenna paused, gathering her thoughts. "I'll make sure there's coffee when you get in. Be safe and I'll see you soon." _

Makenna fought the heavy pull of her eyelids, struggling against the allure of sleep. _Just a few more minutes, and I'll see lights in the driveway. _As if in answer to a prayer, a wash of light spread across the wall across from the window, temporarily dimming the lights of the tree in its glow. Warmth flooded Makenna, dispelling the anxious nerves she'd battled all night. Standing, she dropped the blanket on the sofa and rushed to the window. The soft sounds of masculine voices and car doors gently closing greeted her, even before the sight of her grandson in the driveway. A tall man stood next to him at the trunk of the car, helping lift out the suitcases.

With nervous fingers, she unlocked and opened the door. _What if she didn't like him? What if he didn't like her? _Before the thought could trouble her any longer, Makenna was wrapped in a pair of familiar arms.

"Merry Christmas, Nan." Carlisle's words were muffled against her hair, and she felt the press of a kiss.

Pulling back, Makenna looked up at her grandson, so much like his grandfather. Blinking against the welling tears, she patted his cheek. "Oh you are a sight for these old eyes. Yes, _now _it's a Merry Christmas." She hugged him again, then peered over his shoulder to where Edward hung back. Giving Carlisle one last squeeze, she stepped away. "So, introduce me to your young man."

Her eyes moved between the two men, watching the interplay of emotions. Carlisle seemed to swell with pride, while Edward (_such an old-fashioned name)_ relaxed, his emotions visible in his expression. _My word, they're in love – it's written all over both of them._ Her observations were interrupted by Carlisle.

"Nan, I'd like you to meet Edward Masen," Carlisle's voice seemed to hitch, "my boyfriend. Edward, this is my grandmother, Makenna Charles."

It's an honor to finally meet you, Mrs. Charles. Carlisle speaks of you so often, I feel like I already know you."

"Pish, Makenna or Nan, please." Makenna linked her arm through Edward's free one, and drew him into the house. "Carlisle, take the bags upstairs please, while Edward and I get some coffee." Summarily dismissed, Carlisle complied, leaving Edward at Makenna's mercy. "How was your flight, dear? Did you get any rest?"

She watched the wary confusion flit across Edward's face, before his expression settled into one of _fondness? _How strange. From the little Carlisle had told her about Edward and his family, she'd expected him to be aloof, detached. Instead, he wore a look of youthful exuberance.

"I dozed off on the plane for a little while. I'm not comfortable sitting still for that long. I begin to wonder what I've forgotten to do that I actually have free time." Edward smiled, settling into the chair she motioned him toward.

"Are you very busy at work then? Carlisle mentioned you worked at the museum…"

And it was at the table Carlisle found them when he returned a few minutes later, after having unpacked their bags and slipped the presents under the tree. They were sat on the same side of the table; a photo album spread out in front of them, while Makenna leaned in close and pointed out pictures. Edward had a cookie in his hand, his eyes bright with shared laughter over whatever story Nan had just revealed. Leaning against the doorframe, he watched the most important person in his life indoctrinate the one he was growing to love. He wasn't quite ready to say the words, but he knew he'd never felt the same way about anyone in the past.

"And I took this picture of Carlisle on his first scouting camping trip."

"Oh yes, I remember that trip quite well, Nan," Carlisle interjected, unable to resist the opportunity to deflect some of the embarrassment he knew was sure to come if he didn't cut her off. "Isn't that the same trip that you -"

Makenna cut him off, color flooding her cheeks. "Yes, well I'm sure Edward doesn't want to be bored with stories about an old woman's antics."

Carlisle joined them at the table, kissing Makenna's cheek. "Oh I wouldn't be so sure of that. He does work with artifacts." He dodged the quick swat of her hand, snatching a cookie off the plate, before going to sit on the other side of Edward. Leaning over, he whispered in his ear, "Everything okay?"

Edward looked askance toward Makenna, then turned to whisper back, "She's fabulous, and I adore her. And these are the best cookies I've ever eaten. Do you think she would give me the recipe?"

Carlisle chuckled. "I think she likes you, too, but I doubt you'll get the recipe from her. Stick around, though and she might bake them for you."

Edward leaned forward and brushed his lips lightly across Carlisle's. "I'm not planning on going anywhere any time soon." Then, as if suddenly remembering they weren't alone, Edward pulled away and apologized.

Makenna quirked an eyebrow at him. "Edward, I have been married twice in my life, and I am old enough to be your grandmother. I'm fairly certain that I comprehend that young people kiss, and more -" she raised her voice to speak over Carlisle's protests "especially when I can hear you in the background at my grandson's apartment at nine in the morning on a Sunday, when I know for a fact that he typically spends all morning in bed reading. I may be from a different generation, but I am hardly naïve."

Carlisle choked on his coffee, spluttering even more when Edward shot him a pitying look. Edward stood and walked over to Makenna and gave her a hug, then pressed a kiss against her cheek. She leaned back and smiled up at him, wise blue eyes meeting amused green ones. "And what was that for?"

"For embarrassing your grandson. I thought he was flawless and I'd never measure up." Edward offered another bright smile. "Who would have thought his kryptonite came in a five foot two package, wearing a cardigan, slippers, and carrying the best cookies I've ever eaten."

Makenna patted his cheek. "You'll do." Looking past Edward to where her grandson sat at the table, incredulity written all over his face, she continued, "Clean up the cups and turn out the lights when you head to bed. I'll see you for breakfast." She gave them both a quick hug. "Merry Christmas, boys."

She left them both in the kitchen and made her way slowly up the stairs. Pausing on the landing, Makenna looked at the pictures that hung there – her first husband Alastair, Carlisle's parents on their wedding day and the day their son was born, and the many pictures of Carlisle through the years. Touching the wedding picture she stroked her hand across the worn wooden frame. Her words, when they came, were spoken softly, with tenderness filling her voice.

"He's in love, Rebecca. I'm not sure he even realizes it, but for the first time in his life he's in love. And he's loved in return. I wish you were here to see it. I never thought it would happen for our boy, not like you and Michael, but there it is. Watch over them, dear."

It wasn't too much later that she heard the creak of the steps, accompanied by the low murmur of voices. They paused on the landing; the measured cadence of Carlisle's voice slightly lower than Edward's questioning tone. The sound of a door closing, and a muffled laugh were the last she heard. Snuggling under the covers, she whispered, "And to all a good night."


End file.
